Small rewards? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Small rewards?

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edited February 2014 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I just wanted to pass this along, because I know everyone deals with grief differently, and I am someone who is very goal-oriented and I get very depressed when I am unable to accomplish something (TTC included).  Last year I was an emotional wreck, because not only did I m/c, but it was a partial molar pregnancy, so the gyno. scared me about the moles possibly being linked to cancer and warned me not to TTC for a year.  That is a HUGE commitment to make for someone who desperately wants to accomplish the goal of getting KTFU (at least I was desperate at the time, not so much now).  As a result, I totally ignored doing anything I enjoyed for the longest time and make myself miserable.  I often get mad at myself for wasting those days of my life being so miserable.  So anyway, this time around (in addition to seeking counseling), I have made a promise to myself to celebrate little things.  Even though going to work is such a great distraction, I am going to reward myself for getting through this week on Friday by doing something silly for myself that I enjoy (I'm thinking pedicure?).  Because, as we all know, m/cs absolutely SUCK, nobody should ever have to experience them, and just by dealing with them in our lives, I think we all deserve a little reward here and there.  Anybody thinking of any ways they can reward themselves for getting through the day, week, month, or year?  (Note:  it doesn't have to cost anything.  My feet are just really achy and I've been ignoring them).
Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


Re: Small rewards?

  • Wow....I could've written this word for word. I am exactly like you. Broke down after my last MC. Decided this time I had to do something different or I was going to be a mess again.

    This time me and DH have decided to do something fun every weekend. So far it has been an amazing distraction. Of course I still have my moments but in those moments I get to tell myself, at least Saturday I get to.....this Saturday I am going for a massage. Last weekend me and DH had dinner at a fancy place we would never go to and then went to watch our favorite basket ball team play. I've never seen them live.

    It seems silly but it really does help. I have things lined up for almost every weekend. I'm even attending a passion party with my cousin. I would've never gone to one before!

    I'm so glad someone else is able to do this and it helps you too. It's just a little incentive to get us through the hard times.
  • I LOVE this!  I have been debating about planning a lot of fun activities, especially things I couldn't do this summer if pregnant such as wineries, horseback riding, rafting, and especially doing ride-alongs with my husband who drives drift cars.   My fear is that while it sounds like fun now, will it hit me differently when the time comes to do the activities?  will I be thinking about how pregnant I would have been? and would that make it harder?
    Also I have heard some women discussing getting their bodies in the best "baby carrying shape" before trying again.  So I have been wondering if making this summer about me and my husband and enjoying just the two of us, could cause problems with trying again later?
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  • I love this idea, trying to do the same.
    For me going for walks with the husband on weekends is a nice reward.  Of course the weather has been awful by me!
    I've treated myself to nice lunches/dinners after each doctor office visit (when I found out I lost the baby and the follow up after).  Although I don't want to get used to eating out too often.
    I enjoy dancing to music videos and listening to 90's music :) makes me happy and feel like I'm slowly getting back in shape.

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