Intro and an addition to @morethansparrows questions

rmpar29 · February 2014

I hope it's OK that I post over here. First, let me say that I'm sorry for all of your loss(es) but I'm so happy that you were blessed with your rainbows!

Before I get to my question, let me post an intro:

Hi, my name is Robin (Hi Robin) and I'm TTCAL. Long story short...I have Endo and PCOS and conceived my twin boys, who will be 3 in May, via injectables and IUI. When my boys were 15 months old we were surprised with another pregnancy of a little girl. At 20 weeks we learned she had T21, AV Septal Defect and brain cysts. The next week we lost her and I had a D&E at 22 weeks, this was in February 2013. We started trying again in April, and we are still trying. We're back with the RE and are doing medicated cycles again.

Now, on to my question...

I'm currently the leader of the check-in @morethansparrows mentioned through the TTCAL board. We've been using a PM, but honestly, it's a PITA! As @morethansparrows mentioned, it was suggested to us that we should come over here. Not that we couldn't still post over there, but that this board would be a good fit for that check-in. The problem with this is that some of our group is fresh from a loss, and not ready to be on this board because small child pics/tickers are hard for them to see, which I know all of you ladies understand. When I broached the subject of moving the check-in over here the question came up whether the ladies on this board would be offended if we weren't active over here or didn't intro, but just posted in that check-in. So, that's my question to you ladies...would you be offended? Would this be OK with you?

Again, I apologize if I'm stepping on any toes! We are just trying to find our own "safe" place where we can have our check-in and talk about the issues TTCAL with a living child(ren), but not hurt others in the process. Please, feel free to give me your honest opinions!

ProfessorPedals825 · February 2014

I can't speak for everybody, but I don't see a problem with that. Like somebody else mentioned, it can get slow around here. We'd love to get to know you ladies too, but I can definitely relate to not wanting to see baby pics so soon after a loss. A lot of us just lurk most days also because we're new parents. The only thing I would suggest is that if any of you ladies have input into any of my questions, a quick intro in my post would be nice, just so I know who is giving me feedback. Something like "I have a daughter the same age, and yes, I noticed that too." whatever the situation is.

rmpar29 · February 2014

@andreahshields - Yes, I completely agree that anyone that is going to be posting on other threads should intro. Thanks for your feedback!

Missa_g · February 2014

Hi Robin! I'm Melissa. My twin boys, conceived with Femara and injectables, will be 2 in April. I had an early miscarriage before them and in December lost a boy due to triploidy. I'm on the bench for another month but will then be TTC again. Personally, I would love if the checking was here and I could participate. TTCAL was amazing for me after my first loss but it doesn't feel like a good fit now even though I have had another loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you and the other TTCAL ladies will participate here.

pkaren · March 2014

Hi and welcome!

I agree with PPs to and hope you can feel comfortable and safe here!

@mkc5869 I hope you didn't just jinx us!!! Lol

But she's right, we don't get many drive bys or trolls, we're fairly low drama here!

Mom2anAngel2 · March 2014

Welcome Robin. I am very sorry for your loss. As Melissa said above, I would be very interested in joining your check in if you were to start one. I posted on TTCAL after we lost our first son at 19 weeks. We had dour rainbow a year later. We recently had a loss at 10 weeks and are waiting until next cycle before we TTCAL again. I think a check-in would be a welcomed addition to the PAL board.

MJM3108 · March 2014

mkc5869 said:
Hi Robin. Welcome! I personally NJ don't have a problem with this at all. I think most of us understand that it can be complicated when posting on TTCAL. If you guys need a safe space then I would have no problem with you posting your check in over here. That way you guys won't risk hurting anyone and those of us who are TTC can join in. I agree with andreashields that if you are going to post on other threads then an intro would be nice. Also, I think posting the check in on, say, Wednesday would be a good idea. This board tends to be a little slow so all of the BPFs show up on the main page until mid-week. Just a thought so that they aren't staring those who are having a bad day in the face.

One other thing. This is a VERY low drama board and I think most of us would agree that we would like it to stay that way. We kind of stay under the radar of drive-bys and trolls so as long as this is done respectfully then I'm cool with it. Also, I'm not implying that any of you are drama queens, it is just a concern of mine.

All if this. Every word.

Also, Hi!!! I'm Jess, DH and I lost our daughter, Grace, at 18 weeks in July of 2010, and my handsome rainbow, Ben, just turned 1 about 2 weeks ago.

rmpar29 · March 2014

I just want to thank you ladies for being so gracious and welcoming! I'm so glad that you understand our predicament and are willing to let us move over here. I will make sure that the other ladies understand your wishes and trust me when I say that we hate drama as well. We are trying to avoid it in fact!

I appreciate the suggestion of waiting until towards the end of the week for the check-in and I want to invite any of you to join us when we post next week.

Thanks again ladies and I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you!

KJsbabe · March 2014

Welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are blessed with your sticky baby soon! I'm all for a TTCAL check in over here. I had two early losses before my DD was born and we are TTC for another now.

I do have a question for you about the check in, though. For those of us who are already members of the board and have tickers and pics of our LO's in our siggys, would we need to hide those to participate in the check-in? I totally understand not wanting to see that kind of stuff on hard days, especially fresh after a loss. And I would never want to cause more pain to any AL mom.

Junebug060609 · March 2014

First off, @rmpar29 :-h (hoping that was the Hi smiley)

I don't see a problem with you guys having a check in over here. I was once in your shoes (quick background: c/p, DS born, mmc with 9 months on TTCAL, now pg again) and used to participate in a TTCAL check in over here.

Two suggestions:
1) That the check in include ladies here who have had losses since their rainbows. I know missa_g has responded, but there are others in similar shoes.

2) That you clearly spell out in the header of the post that it is for ladies TTC after a SUBSEQUENT loss as opposed to just a TTC check in (there is already a TTC check in for ladies w/o a loss since their rainbow(s)...and that if pg tickers and baby pics will be an issue thst that be stated clearly in the header as well. Otherwise some of us (like me) might chime in and unknowingly upset someone.

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