Help me! Name related

10Bears · February 2014

Mostly a lurker here but I have a problem! My DH somehow got it in his head that he gets to choose this LO's name. We decided together on DD1's name and I assumed we'd do the same this time - now way I would give naming rights to him and I wouldn't expect to pick the name myself either! He picked out two names and I hate them both. He refuses to consider anything else! He says he's loved the one name since he was a kid - don't care, I'm not naming my kid something I hate. We are currently 2 ish weeks from my EDD and have gotten nowhere. I've given him lists of names I like but he vetoes them (based solely on the fact they are not one of his names). WWYD?? Sorry for the novel and I'm going to bed now so TIA!

BrideNamedMeg · February 2014

No way would that fly in my house either, I'm kind of getting the name I want by default (if we have a girl) because MH hasn't come up with any other suggestions but it wasn't like I just got to dictate what it would be. I'd be super blunt and tell him it's not happening...I think the mom gets to sign off on the birth certificate anyway so you could throw that out there

PinupMomma08 · February 2014

Not a chance in hell. What are his name choices? You can put them in nymbler and see if there are any that are like the ones he likes?

springbaby03 · February 2014

That's messed up! Its called a compromise, perhaps he should be happy that you are open to his opinions and back off a bit. This name stuff can be stressful enough without being bullied by a spouse.

If he won't be flexible then I would pick my favorite names and ask which he likes the best. Tada!

10Bears · February 2014

Thanks ladies! We've tried Nymbler but he just refuses to consider anything else! I have told him in no uncertain terms that I am NOT going with either of those names and he needs to think of something else (several times). But he just doesn't get it! BTW his favorite name is Rydia, terrible right?? His other choice is Lena which isn't as bad but doesn't flow well with our last name that begins and ends in A. We're going to be fighting about this in the hospital, I know it

SomersIsles · February 2014

If my DH was being that stubborn and selfish... He'd be having more problems than just picking a name. Just saying...

10Bears · February 2014

Rad&Co said:

Dang, that sounds really frustrating. I really don't have any advice except to keep listing names and hoping he comes around to something else. Maybe you can take Rydia (you're right, what the hell is he thinking?) to the Baby Name board and then read aloud all of the responses that will surely bash it.

His sisters and cousin all told him its a terrible name and he just doesn't care LOL. I guess I'll have to just keep working on him! Thanks everyone

YankeePeach08 · February 2014

WTF kinda name is Rydia? Honestly it sounds like an STD.

I wouldn't worry too much, I think once DH see's you go through labor and delivery and/or CS and he is finally holding his little girl he won't care.

The birth certificate rules may vary by state. I didn't sign anything and H filled out the paperwork.

Funny sidenote, he is now paranoid that he filled it out incorrectly and switched the boys' names.

angelsnight · February 2014

YankeePeach08 said:

WTF kinda name is Rydia? Honestly it sounds like an STD.

I wouldn't worry too much, I think once DH see's you go through labor and delivery and/or CS and he is finally holding his little girl he won't care.

The birth certificate rules may vary by state. I didn't sign anything and H filled out the paperwork.
Funny sidenote, he is now paranoid that he filled it out incorrectly and switched the boys' names.

This was my first thought as well. Maybe tell him that.

Missfunball · February 2014

Yeah I would put my foot down and talk with your hospital staff that you want to sign off on the birth cert. if my DH tried pulling that I would tell him it was a sure fire way to be left in the waiting room.

mhilpisch10 · February 2014

I think naming is one of those things that you have to agree on. It's mean to pick a name that the other hates. And Rydia is bad.

rubylovebug · February 2014

What about making one of the names a middle name & coming up with a first name that you both like & works well? Lena could be a really pretty middle name, if that's the one you like better, & then your husband feels like he was validated & you still get a name you both like as a first name.

Personally, it would never fly for my husband to try to tell me what we were going to name our child. It should be an agreement.

BrideNamedMeg · February 2014

angelsnight said:

YankeePeach08 said:

WTF kinda name is Rydia? Honestly it sounds like an STD.

I wouldn't worry too much, I think once DH see's you go through labor and delivery and/or CS and he is finally holding his little girl he won't care.

The birth certificate rules may vary by state. I didn't sign anything and H filled out the paperwork.
Funny sidenote, he is now paranoid that he filled it out incorrectly and switched the boys' names.

This was my first thought as well. Maybe tell him that.

It's from Final Fantasy (a video game).

saisongbird · February 2014

Names from video games are often made up or are from foreign languages. Tell him it doesn't pass the resume test, thanks for playing, try again.

BuckeyeWife07 · February 2014

The funny part is that he has absolutely no say in the name when it comes to paperwork. You're the one that fills it all out.

I'd throw that at him and tell him he better compromise. My DH won't give me much of anything so I'm not sure how I'd feel if I was in your situation.

erinlovessalt · February 2014

YankeePeach08 said:

WTF kinda name is Rydia? Honestly it sounds like an STD.

I wouldn't worry too much, I think once DH see's you go through labor and delivery and/or CS and he is finally holding his little girl he won't care.

The birth certificate rules may vary by state. I didn't sign anything and H filled out the paperwork.
Funny sidenote, he is now paranoid that he filled it out incorrectly and switched the boys' names.

See I read Rydia as more of stripper/porn name. Like in my head I hear "Ride-ya"...maybe op could say that to HH.

BrideNamedMeg · February 2014

You could suggest Lydia, kind of a nod to Rydia except it's an actual name

10Bears · February 2014

I have told him that it rhymes with chlamydia (sp?)! He doesn't care. We both threaten to sign the birth certificate w/o the other person and I honestly can't remember how the paperwork worked with DD1 so we'll see. I told him most likely I will be the one alone in the hospital with access to the birth certificate (since I'm sure he'll be with DD1 some of the time) so I'll have a better chance

I've also suggested using either as a MN but he refuses that too... I almost punched in the nose when we were talking about it last night!

springbaby03 · February 2014

Uhhh my ears are steaming for you.
Sounds like he doesn't want to play nice, and if he can't play nice maybe he should pick up his toys, go home and play by himself.
Or as my mother puts it...go act ugly by yourself.
As far as I know mom signs bc, call your hospital and ask for your peace of mind. Id say, if you want to use Rydia so badly get a dog. Maybe tell him something equally as rediculous...I've always loved the name sunshine bear from carebears.

)

clo1982 · February 2014

First off, how is this only coming up now?!? Second, rydia is awful and not even a name. It actually autocorrected to the word redial when I typed it. Tell him his 2 minutes of involvement 8.5 months back didn't earn him exclusive naming rights. My bil actually was doing this with my sister. If it was a boy it would be a Jr., no questions, no arguments. She was kinda like 'yeah the thing is that I'm sorta involved with this process too...ya know by growing, carrying and birthing the baby, so we can go ahead and decide on a name together.'

10Bears · February 2014

We've been having this argument since we found out we were having a girl, I figured he'd start considering other names once he realized I wasn't giving into him but here we are! I definitely told him to get a dog. I have names I like but no favorite since I don't want to get attached to a name he doesn't like. Time to make some decisions!

hemeyer31 · March 2014

I would go one of two ways-

Option A) start crying so he feels like a dirt bag and compromises (DH hates hates hates making me cry)

Option

if that doesn't work, hit him where it hurts- ie hold the xbox hostage, or his credit card, or whatever he loves most/ induces the most anxiety.

Example: DH is a money freak, so if I told him "if you name her something I don't like, I'm going to go PAY a court few HUNDRED bucks to change her name." He'd back off. Just the mention of me potentially "wasting" money makes him want to puke.

If he's going to try to power play you, I say no more playing nice.

Plus, if he does get the birth cert and name her something stupid, a) you can change her name and b) you don't have to call her that. If he's going to throw the fair fighting rules out and go behind your back, then you can tell your friends and family he screwed it up and her name is really (fill in the blank) and just keep calling her that, and then go change it while he's out.

Once he realizes he can't really win this, he'll compromise with you. Don't give him the power! Lol

I hope it doesn't become an nuclear war in your house, though, you don't need that stress.

KariB509 · March 2014

Tell him that since the baby is coming out of your vagina, that you have to agree on the name so he needs to man up and compromise.

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