Late Term and Child Loss

anyone who's had a d&e?

I know many of you delivered your babies as I did with my first, but if anyone who has had a d&e could give me any information about the procedure I'd appreciate it. Specifically I'm concerned about the recovery. How painful was the procedure? How long did you bleed for? How long before you felt "back to normal" physically/ready to work again? I feel so unprepared...
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Re: anyone who's had a d&e?

  • jonahsmajonahsma member
    edited February 2014
    I'm so sorry for your loss....
    I had my d&e in nov...placed under anesthesia, tube down throat. It's an in and out procedure , and you go home really drugged up and exhausted.I think You are able to return to work within that week Or the next. I retyrned to school 2 weeks later. It was hard emotionally. Recovery wasn't physically painful to me, and I think I bled for about two weeks. Flow first week was like a period, then lightened by week two. At the time I didn't think of it, but I really wish I could have requested my babys ashes they didn't offer me that option. If that's something you would like maybe mention it before the surgery.
    I am so sorry you are going through this, you are in my prayers...((hugs))
  • ((hugs)) I am so sorry you are having to do this...the d&e was very easy, the emotional toll you are going  through is much worsethan the procedure.  Mine was a 2 day process- the first day they used laminaria to dilate your cervix and this was honestly the worst part...it wasn't really painful but just uncomfortable if that makes sense.  Day two they put an IV in and put me under for the procedure...both days I was given xanax to relax. 

    I was in some slight pain when I woke up but they gave me a shot of something to help with that.  I went home and slept a few hours.  I would say I was a lot better the next day...I had some lifting restrictions and whatnot but felt almost back to normal by late the next afternoon.

      As for going back to work I woul think that would more depend on your emotional state.  Bleedingwise it wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be but I do feel like I bled for at least a week...my period came back about 4-5 weeks later.  hope that helps.  thinking of you.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • *lurking and siggy warning*

    It has been a few years since my D&E but it was a 2-day procedure. I was 17 weeks.

    I went in on a Tuesday for paperwork, an u/s to confirm loss, blood work, and then they inserted the seaweed sticks (there is some more technical term for them) to start the dilating process. I felt pretty nauseous and light headed for bit after getting up. I was then given a couple of different drugs, some painkillers, and something else. I was told that some spotting was normal and to go into the ER if my water breaks or I develop a fever. I had pretty bad cramping that night.

    Wed morning was the procedure. The sticks were removed and they checked my cervix. I was put to sleep, they did the procedure, and woke up in recovery about an hour later. They keep you there until the anesthesia wears off. I didn't feel any cramping after the procedure, just some discomfort. Bleeding was similar to a period.

    I was able to walk around fine within a day. I returned to work the following Monday. A check up 2 weeks later was a short "how are you? Fine? OK, bye."

    I'm sorry for your loss.
    My Chart

    My Life

    BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
    BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
    BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
    BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
    BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
    BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
    BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
  • Thank you for this information, ladies. Like you said, I think the emotional pain will be worse than the physical pain. I have to go to an abortion clinic to have it done and, while I support a woman's right to choose, I just don't feel up to looking at women who don't want their babies while my very much wanted baby is being taken from me. Also I know this site has protesters outside and I fear facing that. The whole this just sucks a lot. Honestly I just want to get it over with At this point.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image



  • I also had to go to a clinic. I want to warn you that there might be people outside protesting. I was in the same room with 17 year olds having abortions and it was very upsetting. Then when DH and I left, there were people screaming at me saying I murdered my child. DH almost punched them.

    Ask if they get groups like that and ask if there is a separate exit so that you can avoid them.

    I also didn't know this at the time, but ask if they can do foot prints and hand prints. I wish I had something of my little girl.
    My Chart

    My Life

    BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
    BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
    BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
    BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
    BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
    BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
    BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
  • jess123456jess123456 member
    edited February 2014
    I have had a very similar situation to you. I am so sorry.

    The other ladies gave you great advice. The laminera sticks (spelling) were probably the most physically painful thing about the whole thing for me. I got mine in the day before the procedure and I was so grateful for a heating pad. When the doctor put them in I felt very dizzy but it was probably also due to the emotional part of it.

    The procedure itself is physically easy and they put me out completely. I did have my procedure done at a hospital so it could be a bit different than the clinic.

    I am so incredibly sorry.
  • I also had to go to a clinic. I want to warn you that there might be people outside protesting. I was in the same room with 17 year olds having abortions and it was very upsetting. Then when DH and I left, there were people screaming at me saying I murdered my child. DH almost punched them.

    Ask if they get groups like that and ask if there is a separate exit so that you can avoid them.

    I also didn't know this at the time, but ask if they can do foot prints and hand prints. I wish I had something of my little girl.

    They did warn me that they have protesters. This is a huge part of my worry. Dh is emotionally charged and I'm afraid of an altercation. Thank you for mentioning footprints. We plan to ask for our baby's ashes but I hadn't thought of footprints.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image



  • I also had to go to a clinic. I want to warn you that there might be people outside protesting. I was in the same room with 17 year olds having abortions and it was very upsetting. Then when DH and I left, there were people screaming at me saying I murdered my child. DH almost punched them.

    Ask if they get groups like that and ask if there is a separate exit so that you can avoid them.

    I also didn't know this at the time, but ask if they can do foot prints and hand prints. I wish I had something of my little girl.

    Ticker warning

    I'm so sorry, I cannot even imagine.  That is so unfair that you had to go through that to begin with, let alone being treated the way you were.  Big hugs!

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • I also had to go to a clinic. I want to warn you that there might be people outside protesting. I was in the same room with 17 year olds having abortions and it was very upsetting. Then when DH and I left, there were people screaming at me saying I murdered my child. DH almost punched them.

    Ask if they get groups like that and ask if there is a separate exit so that you can avoid them.

    I also didn't know this at the time, but ask if they can do foot prints and hand prints. I wish I had something of my little girl.
    They did warn me that they have protesters. This is a huge part of my worry. Dh is emotionally charged and I'm afraid of an altercation. Thank you for mentioning footprints. We plan to ask for our baby's ashes but I hadn't thought of footprints.

    Ticker warning

    I'm so sorry you have to face this....not only for your loss but the stress of having to face protestors.  I really hope there aren't any there, or that you can go in a different way to avoid them.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • Thank you for this information, ladies. Like you said, I think the emotional pain will be worse than the physical pain. I have to go to an abortion clinic to have it done and, while I support a woman's right to choose, I just don't feel up to looking at women who don't want their babies while my very much wanted baby is being taken from me. Also I know this site has protesters outside and I fear facing that. The whole this just sucks a lot. Honestly I just want to get it over with At this point.
    I am so verry sorry you have to go to a clinic. My heart is just breaking for you. 


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
  • No advice here, but I did want to say how sorry I am for your loss.  Wishing you the best...
  • I'm so upset. We were told yesterday that it was early enough to be a one day procedure and they told us how to plan for today. I did everything they said, show up and they tell me it was a mistake... it will have to be a two day procedure. They started dilating me today and we have to go back tomorrow for the procedure. I just want this over. Ugh.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image



  • so sorry things didn't turn out like you wanted...to be honest I was kind of relieved mine was two days (and the clinic recommended 2 days).  there was just a lot going on and if you do it in one I think you have to sit around the clinic waiting for your cervix to dialate...whereas on 2 days you can go home and sleep. 

    so sorry you are frustrated and disappointed.  t's and p's you can get some rest today.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • I'm so upset. We were told yesterday that it was early enough to be a one day procedure and they told us how to plan for today. I did everything they said, show up and they tell me it was a mistake... it will have to be a two day procedure. They started dilating me today and we have to go back tomorrow for the procedure. I just want this over. Ugh.
    So sorry.  Big ((hugs))
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • kittymeowbarkkittymeowbark member
    edited February 2014
    I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this. I had my D&E 2 weeks ago when I was 21weeks due to my baby having holoprosencephaly. It was a 3-day procedure.

    Day1: Spoke with specialist and confirmed holoprosencephaly and the severity. Signed papers and confirmed we are going ahead with termination. Spent about 5 hours in the hospital doing paper work and triple checking results. At the end of the day, they inserted a needle into my abdomen to officially stop the heart beat. I was told the medicine stops the heart beat and softens the tissue and cartilage to help during the procedure. To me this was the most traumatizing part of the procedure for me since I felt like I was killing my own baby. That day involved many tears and this is the day I count that my little baby officially passed.

    Day 2: Came in to the same office and they did an ultrasound to confirm that the baby's heart did stop. They gave me 2 motrins before they inserted the laminaria sticks. This part was painful and unpleasant. I wish they gave me something stronger for the pain. That day sucked so much. I was in soooo much pain and couldn't do anything. I stayed in bed crying the entire time.

    Day 3: Went in for the procedure at 6am and I was sent into surgery around 7:30am. They gave me the good drugs and I was completely knocked out in a minute. Woke up with oxygen in my nose. Nurse told me they do that if someone is sleeping for a while which apparently I was. There was heavy bleeding. I vaguely recall the nurse changing the pad when I was going in and out of consciousness. Despite going through this horrible procedure I felt like I finally slept (after not sleeping for a week.) I actually felt better. The let me recuperate in the stretcher and then gave me some food. My hubby picked me up 1 hr after I woke up. He also mentioned I looked as if I had a very good nap.

    I was spotting for a few days and then 5 days later started bleeding much heavier. Thought AF came in but knew that was not possible. Went back to spotting after that. Today is the first day of no spotting.

    I was up and about that same day of the procedure. As crazy as it sounds, I felt pretty good after (I think it was the drugs). I just had my 2 week check-in today and thank god everything went well.

    I wish you the best of luck. Just know it will soon be over. Please let me know if you have any questions about my experience. I will do my best to help.
    Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
    TTC since 2012
    BFP#1EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
    Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
    My Chart image
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • My situation was a little different in that I was being prepped for the D&E but it worked too quickly and I ended up delivering. I agree that the laminaria sticks and the miso pills they placed in me were by far the worst part. Having them inserted wasn't all that great but it was far worse when they were removed....however, I'd imagine you'd have yours removed while under sedation perhaps. After delivery, I had a D&C for the retained placenta. I had cramping for a few weeks and only stopped bleeding/spotting after week 9. So sorry you're going through this, thinking of you
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

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