My feelings got hurt, someone coddle me!

tealowl · February 2014

I posted on my BMB a local article about a BF mom who got told at the local Y she couldn't BF in a common area.

I ended up sharing the article on my FB page and my aunt and my good friend both commented on how breasts need to be covered up in public and 'they have rights too' and its indecent, blah blah blah.

I'm so upset by it. I know people have opinions about it, but I commented that I will not cover up if I BF. So basically I know I would offend them. My feelings are so hurt. What am I going to do at family functions?

I want to BF this time around so bad, and now I'm worried that I'll get the hang of it and be a pro and then won't be able to because I'll have so much anxiety over who I'm offending and who's looking at me, etc. This is a close aunt and a very close friend of mine, not a random I'll never see...

Ugh. I'm a weepy mess today.

Emerald27 · February 2014

I'm so sorry. It's really tough when those you love are unsupportive. A good source of support and encouragement is so helpful for breastfeeding moms. Maybe you could attend a La Leche League meeting to meet some other moms who are nursing their babies and have experienced similar tension in their personal relationships. LLL is a great place to find support, and help + info when you need it.

I nurse DS in public without a cover ALL THE TIME. If I get looks, nowadays it's because not many people nurse 2yos, not because my boobs are showing. I like to wear a cami, pull shirt up and cami down, so all that is shown is boob, but baby covers that. Honestly, even without a cover, you don't see much boob unless you're taking your shirt off to nurse:

People who are offended by public breastfeeding really annoy me. I saved these 2 comics because I find them so hilarious and telling:

Lastly, and then I'll hop off my soap box, I really LOVED this article about modesty and breastfeeding, which discusses how breastfeeding and modesty aren't really relevant to one another or within the same realm. There isn't really a question of modest or immodest when you're using your breasts for their primary purpose, and other stuff too that I won't get into here or it'll turn into more of a novel:

https://theleakyboob.com/2013/07/breastfeeding-and-following-jesus-uninviting-modesty-to-the-breastfeeding-discussion/

Anyway, if you need support or to vent about people or comments, hit me up.

Sorry you had to deal with that!

Emerald27 · February 2014

One other thing. I know DH will not ever want to be seen with me in public if I get one of these, but I really really really want to buy one of these hats for the new LO:

They come in different colors/skin tones, and I think they're shockingly awesome. There just are no words.

tealowl · February 2014

Emerald27 said:

I'm so sorry. It's really tough when those you love are unsupportive. A good source of support and encouragement is so helpful for breastfeeding moms. Maybe you could attend a La Leche League meeting to meet some other moms who are nursing their babies and have experienced similar tension in their personal relationships. LLL is a great place to find support, and help + info when you need it. I nurse DS in public without a cover ALL THE TIME. If I get looks, nowadays it's because not many people nurse 2yos, not because my boobs are showing. I like to wear a cami, pull shirt up and cami down, so all that is shown is boob, but baby covers that. Honestly, even without a cover, you don't see much boob unless you're taking your shirt off to nurse: People who are offended by public breastfeeding really annoy me. I saved these 2 comics because I find them so hilarious and telling: Lastly, and then I'll hop off my soap box, I really LOVED this article about modesty and breastfeeding, which discusses how breastfeeding and modesty aren't really relevant to one another or within the same realm. There isn't really a question of modest or immodest when you're using your breasts for their primary purpose, and other stuff too that I won't get into here or it'll turn into more of a novel: https://theleakyboob.com/2013/07/breastfeeding-and-following-jesus-uninviting-modesty-to-the-breastfeeding-discussion/ Anyway, if you need support or to vent about people or comments, hit me up. Sorry you had to deal with that!

I really appreciate it. Most of my friends tend to FF, and my cousin would use a cover, so I'm not around BF moms often. I just can't afford formula, and buying a bunch of nursing tops to be more modest is going to cost money that I'd rather spend on other things.

I know theres a LLL near me so I'll have to hit them up. And S/O's ex-GF tandem fed and is super pro-BF and I know she'd help me if I needed it.

I just know I'm not going to want to throw a blanket over me when it's hotter than shit around here in July/Aug. I will die of heatstroke ya'll!

I just don't even know what to reply to them, I'm so mad and want to be snarky but I dont' want this to turn into some awkward FB fight over opinions. I think I'll share that article you linked though!

Emerald27 · February 2014

There's the standard reply of telling the offender to put a blanket over their own head while they eat, or to go eat their own dinner in the bathroom, or whatnot.

I find it easiest to say something like "When my baby is hungry, I'll feed him or her wherever we are, and I am truly unashamed to use my breasts for so natural, normal, and beautiful a purpose."

I mean it's truly amazing that we can grow these kids inside our bodies and then nurture them for at least the first half of a year of their life on solely what our bodies provide. If that's not empowering, then I don't know what is!!!

Emerald27 · February 2014

You can totally reply with this video:

https://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/breastfeeding-music-video-everyone-knows-new-mothers-exhibitionists/

...sorry, I've hijacked your thread! This is just an issue I'm really passionate about.

Valancyy · February 2014

I breastfed in public without a cover all the time. No one ever said a thing or gave a funny look.

I breastfed around my family too. At first, I was a little weird about it in front of my father and FIL. But, as time went on, no one cared anymore. I have full conversations with my dad while breastfeeding.

I've never had a family member insist that breastfeeding moms use a cover, but that is one of the comments that really infuriates me. Why do I need to cover up my breasts? Like pp's said, you can't really see anything anyway. But, if you do see something while baby is latching, who cares? It's a breast. Are you really that offended by seeing a breast? This just boggles my mind. I can't understand it, I really can't.

Men walk around without shirts on all the time, I hate that women's breasts are so sexualized.

I don't use a cover when breastfeeding because I don't think I should have to. It's inconvenient and not necessary.

pjaimeal · February 2014

Oh Teal, I know how you feel! I need to stay off of FB because I just got all hot and bothered talking about an issue the other day.

In general, there are alot of people out there that have strong opinions without being educated. Sometimes those people are our relatives/friends and there is nothing we can do about it. But you are still in control. If people do come over and you want to breastfeed, you can choose to do it in front of them or not. I am the type of person who would be dead set on doing whatever I want in my house but later be super upset if I even got a glance of disapproval. For this reason, I would probably BF in another room whenever disapproving glancer was visiting. I would love to say that I am strong enough to not care, but I would so I should try and avoid the situation in order to save myself the heartache. Don't think I would refrain from saying how I feel about the situation on a regular basis though! I wouldn't expect to change anyone's opinion but it wouldn't stop me from trying...

GL :-*

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