Spacing of Kids

ChevelleRivers · February 2014

Anyone planning to go for #2 when their LO turns two? If so, what is your reasoning behind that spacing?

I'd love to hear from moms who have existing kiddos with roughly that spacing as well. Thanks!

kerbear135 · February 2014

I think we're going to starting trying this summer...that way, DD will be 2 before the 2nd child is born. I think we waited till after the 1st year to seriously discuss TTC #2 because we knew that it would require a lot of work on our part (we have to sell our current house and buy a new one to have enough space) and we weren't up to doing that until after DD turned 1. I would like to have kids fairly close in age- my sister and I are 3.5 yrs apart and have a hard time getting along- but I also wanted a little space in between because 2u2 scares me.

Jackiemxoxo · February 2014

We are waiting to start trying hopefully by december because of life stuff. I want to finish my master's, get more established in a job, and we don't know where our orders will be yet (dh is navy). I think if timing was different than we might have started sooner because dh and I are both 18 months apart from an older sibling and liked it growing up. However, I do think it'll be nice to not have 2 in diapers. I think waiting and not waiting both have their ups and downs.

ChevelleRivers · February 2014

Jackiemxoxo said:
We are waiting to start trying hopefully by december because of life stuff. I want to finish my master's, get more established in a job, and we don't know where our orders will be yet (dh is navy). I think if timing was different than we might have started sooner because dh and I are both 18 months apart from an older sibling and liked it growing up. However, I do think it'll be nice to not have 2 in diapers. I think waiting and not waiting both have their ups and downs.

Totally agree about the scariness of 2u2 but also wanting your kids to be close enough in age to play together. Also, I feel like if I let too much time go by I might not have the energy for a newborn again. Ha.

robyn2201 · February 2014

We started trying for LO# 2 when DD was 10 months. We wanted them close but knew also it may take while to get pregnant.

They ended up being 28 months apart or 2 years 4 months. Further apart than we would have liked but it's not too far apart. DD1 PT'd while I was on maternity leave with DD2. DD1 was able to do a lot of things by herself at that point and was more independent. But she is still young enough that I think they will be close. Well at least I hope they will be. They currently love each other.

If we have another the spacing will most likely be further apart due to finances, needing a bigger vehicle and house.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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kjsmith9 · February 2014

We won't start trying until DD is at least 2 - maybe 2.5 years old. We moved 7 months ago and aren't planning to purchase a house for another 12-18 months. And there's no way we can have another LO here. Also, like @JandACoffee - I want the time with her... I don't feel ready right now (even if we had the same to accommodate another baby), and I don't want to feel like I rushed into have another one just to do it.

*LrCg* · February 2014

Our dream was to have "Irish twins" then a 2 year space and then "Irish twins" again. That was before I was educated that most women don't ovulate for a long time after giving birth when nursing (for me it was 8-9 months). So the soonest we could get pregnant we got lucky and my first 2 are 16 months apart. #2 & #3 are 2 1/2 years apart- we wanted them sooner but were fast in discovering that wanting and getting are 2 different things. I really didn't like the 2 1/2 year age gap too long for me. And now #3 and yet to be born #4 will be 18 months apart. Again would have liked them closer but with nursing it was the best we could get. So when I give birth we will have 4 children ages 5 and under.

I personally love having my kids back to back. My sister and I are 4 years apart and I feel the spacing was just too much for us and we've never been close- she's always been resentful/jealous and we're in our 30's now! My kids are so insanely close and its rare that they fight at all. I've never felt that I haven't spent enough time with any of them, especially because it seems like every other year Daddy's getting 2 months off for baby leave- so that will be a hard vacation to drop! Not to mention, the gift of a close sibling can never been replaced. Its never been overwhelming to me (I think the advantage of back to back kids is you're never out of sync) and everyone helps each other out and I can honestly say I've never had multiple babies crying at the same time- they just kinda know- okay this person needs Momma more right now. I know many people worry about 2 in diapers but I've never experienced that. They were either PT prior to the arrival or within the month after. We also CD so I spent $700 on diapers years ago and that's all I've ever spent.

Also, with regard to doing things IMO its easier because their the same age range- i.e. the feel and touch Children's Museum is a great example or rides at the fair. My other reason for wanting them close is with my oldest just turning 5, soon he'll want to be in sports and I feel I can hold him off another year when the newest baby will be 1 and more flexible in schedule. I just wouldn't want to miss anything and with a newborn I would. For us newborns are in bed by 6:30 pm and so I'd miss practices/games or I'd have to drag the poor baby out and get out of schedule (which wouldn't be fair to the baby).

ChevelleRivers · February 2014

I'm really loving reading everyone's perspective on this!

I think we have decided to start casually trying for #2 on DD's second birthday. We're hoping this timing - the Universe willing - will afford us plenty of alone time with DD first, while still encouraging a close relationship among siblings and ensuring DD is pretty indepedent by the time there's a newborn present. (On a superficial note, if we're not pregnant by February, we're going to skip TTC for the months of February and March so as not to chance another holiday baby. That stressed me out to the max. Anyone else? Ha.)

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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