October 2014 Moms
caranichole
member
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Another WWYD Post: Telling Parents
caranichole
member
If you recall from past posts, we did not get great responses from our parents in the past when we announced our pregnancies. That being said, I am starting to think about how I want to announce my pregnancy to family and friends. Normally we have called my ILs and told my parents face to face and then we've made an simple announcement on Facebook - not a big deal at all.
This time, I am wondering if it's even worth it to tell my family first? Especially if they are going to react that way again. To recap, my mom gave me the silent treatment for a while and ILs actually had the nerve to say that it was a horrible problem. So I was thinking I may just post to Facebook or my blog and everyone will just find out with the rest of the world. I know that would step on some toes but i'm mentally preparing to respond to bad reactions and let them know they lost their privileges to a special vip announcement last go round.
Eta: grammar - nothing major
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Re: Another WWYD Post: Telling Parents
I think you should do things how you did it last time. The responses might not be what you want, but there is a level of respect that you need to show your family.
If a crisis happened, I bet your parents and in laws would be the first to do everything they can before the majority of FB friends would.
I know it's hard. ::hugs::
OP, going out of your way to let them know doesn't seem warranted to me. If you want to do it for you then do. But don't do it just because it's family and that's just how things are done.
This is tough...I'm sorry your family sucks. That being said, family is just blood. Just because you are related doesn't entitle them to special treatment if they are going to be unsupportive and even mean about your announcement.
Announce to the important, supportive people in your life. Make it fun, do it how you want to. If your family finds out from that - well good for them. I'm a little bitchy about this so I say just tell your family when you start showing and they start wondering.
Family doesn't exempt people from being polite or excuse being an ass. You aren't required to tell them first. Especially since they are clearly repeat offenders.
I dunno. I still stand by my statement if they're good to your girls, you know? I have a step father that raised me since I was three and had a really nasty divorce with my mom (I've talked to him 2-3 times since I was 17 and they divorced) and I even found it appropriate to tell him before letting friends know.
He was shocked, seeing as he has a 4 year old and newborn right now (so I have a step-daughter and am pregnant and we've got some age between us). He didn't respond well, and I got a call from him a few hours later saying he was wrong. Even though the initial rejection hurt and he's not in my life or will be in my children's life, I'm happy that I did it and he didn't have to hear through other people.
I know rejection is hard, but let's be honest, they've seen how great of a job you and your hubby have done, even if they didn't approve, they couldn't really have a good reason.
Plus you have all of us to support you guys.
A few nay-sayers won't ruin that, or all of the support you'll gain elsewhere. Regardless of your choice, I hope you're happy. That's what you deserve.
We have a lot of great, supportive friends who already have been told. They are all so happy for us. I have not decided if we will tell or just let family figure it out for themselves. I hate being like this but having your mom and grandparents look at you and say "oh god, your pregnant again" in a disgusted, judgy way is just not something I want to deal with. DH and I are in our 30s and he has a great job that he loves and allows me to stay home. Not sure WTH the issue is.
They are good to my boys now and we do not ever keep them from spending time with them but I hate dealing with their crap through the pregnancy.
Good luck with whatever you decide. I know how much it sucks.