I feel so clueless and overwhelmed!

mfarmer0811 · February 2014

I'm a FTM, although I have been around, and cared for babies before. However, I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed at all the things there are to know about raising a baby!!

I just got back from a meet and greet with the peditricians. In the literature they gave, it had a list of OKAY and not OKAY baby products, and baby soaps (ie:Johnson and Johnson's) was on the NOT OKAY list. I know frequent bathing can dry the baby's skin, but I didn't know you weren't supposed to use baby soap! I got TONS of it as gifts!!

I also didn't realize that the middle seat was the safest for the car!

Ugh, I feel like a terrible mom already, and am scared to death of unknowingly hurting my child some way!

Can someone please calm me down, I feel like I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack!!

Moedowell · February 2014

you'll be okay! promise! I remember checking and rechecking my first for a temperature because i was so afraid to miss something...and panic calling the nurse line too many times in the first few weeks for random things!

My second came around and we just went with it, and this time, i'm sure we'll do the same.

It's all a learning process! You'll learn and grow with that baby, and as long as you don't compare what others are doing, and really just stick to what works for your family you'll be set! Honestly parenting is all trial and error!

The most important thing to remember is to remain calm! The baby feeds off of you so if you are relaxed they will vibe off of that! I think that really helped me tackle lots of the question mark situations when we were first getting started!!

Hang in there!

amandapthompson · February 2014

Hold the phone.... You can't use baby soap?? Since when? Pretty sure I used from bath #1 with DS...

angelsnight · February 2014

I feel the same way, it's like everyday I hear of something new. I haven't heard anything about the soap, but I think we just have to decide for ourselves what rules are legitimate concerns, and which are verging on the edge of paranoia.

Such as, putting back on her back to sleep, absolutely! Not using J&J baby soap....I've heard nothing about this, I can't imagine what's wrong with it. Maybe it's just the ped's personal preference. I've also heard baby power is no longer ok....I still plan to use it, but I'll just use a little bit and make sure not to poof it in her face where she breathes it in.

The middle seat thing....it is the safest as being on either side could subject baby to a side impact crash. But you're certainly not a bad mom if you had put baby on one side or another....for some people their cars just won't work best in the middle, or what about people that have more than one kid. They can't all be in the middle. Try to relax, you'll be a great mom....the mere fact that you're worried about this stuff tells me you won't let your kid play in traffic or juggle knives

defri17 · February 2014

Yep, we were told in our baby class not to use soaps, lotions, baby oil, or baby powder... it was a bit overwhelming but we'll all figure it out! Just do your research, talk to your peds dr and do what makes you feel comfortable.

angelsnight · February 2014

defri17 said:

Yep, we were told in our baby class not to use soaps, lotions, baby oil, or baby powder... it was a bit overwhelming but we'll all figure it out! Just do your research, talk to your peds dr and do what makes you feel comfortable.

Lol, what did they say to use?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

nblondheim · February 2014

We have used it from the get go and the NICU nurses used it too! I don't think the soap thing is a big deal!

craftiemommie · February 2014

defri17 said:
Yep, we were told in our baby class not to use soaps, lotions, baby oil, or baby powder... it was a bit overwhelming but we'll all figure it out! Just do your research, talk to your peds dr and do what makes you feel comfortable.

Us too - for the first few weeks they said water only.
on the soap - it's not bad per se, just dries them out

[Deleted User] · February 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

PinupMomma08 · February 2014

I promise you'll figure it out!

KariB509 · February 2014

amandapthompson said:

Hold the phone.... You can't use baby soap?? Since when? Pretty sure I used from bath #1 with DS...

I've never heard this before either! Like for how long aren't you supposed to use soap??

Pankers · February 2014

I am totally with you on freaking out as a FTM, but then people remind me that our parents did ok with us and they did all kinds of different things to what we are told, then their parents and their parents before them. It will be scary but the most wonderful experience, and yes we will totally over-react over every little thing. Then baby number 2 we will hand it over to the mechanic like in that commercial. Go with you gut and what you and your other half think is best for your baby. You will be fine

Edited to add the link to the commercial

https://youtu.be/ZMhHzucl9lI

*Naea* · February 2014

And remember your LO is just figuring out the baby thing too - they won't be judging you. Just loving you

ewallace00 · February 2014

@angelsnight buy a talc-free powder for LO instead of risking it with traditional baby powder. Burts bees makes one talc free "dusting powder" and they sell it at BRU.

OP I did hear not to use any soaps with fragrances. That makes more sense than none whatsoever.

angelsnight · February 2014

ewallace00 said:

@angelsnight buy a talc-free powder for LO instead of risking it with traditional baby powder. Burts bees makes one talc free "dusting powder" and they sell it at BRU. OP I did hear not to use any soaps with fragrances. That makes more sense than none whatsoever.

My J&J powder that came in a gift set says pure cornstarch, isn't that supposed to be better?

teaforthree · February 2014

I agree with all PPs, but just want to add about the soap that i've never heard of not using any! In fact, when we took our infant care class they had samples of J&J and told us how to use the soap on an infant when giving a bath. I only used J&J on DD and she was fine. This time around I'm trying out Aveeno, but I'm sure J&J is just fine. You'll be great!

amandapthompson · February 2014

Babies generally have dry skin for a few weeks/months anyways. I've always just been told to lotion them up good

Christal161 · February 2014

Well being a FTM too, I am pretty stressed out! But just take it day by day! That's my moto lol since my mother was a teen mom, my sister and I were around babies are whole lives. Even dealt with a sick newborn sister (she had cancer but is now a survivor) but with those experince, it's different when it's your own baby! And I've never heard not to use soap for newborn... I know in my labour & delivery class they mention to only wash baby when it's needed. And for J&J, yeah I heard that they have ingredients that can cause cancer. At first I was scared about this, but remember that everything can cause anything now... And that we've been using J&J forever (I've been using their baby powder on myself everytime I come out of the shower

) just use products with causion I guess. Watch how his skin reacts and if something happens you can always consult your doctor.

mfarmer0811 · February 2014

Thanks y'all!! I feel better already! I'm going to use the J&J that I already have stocked piled (got tons at the showers). If DS is allergic, or sensitive to it, I'll switch. I guess I know I need to calm down, and soap should be my last worry, but like I said, I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything!

erinsullivan427 · February 2014

I am a FTM too and I learned a lot in our classes that the hospital gives. You might see if yours offers any besides just birthing?

In our baby basics class, they said no soap until after the cord falls off and then not on face but everywhere else is fine at first. She mentioned bathing every few days and said lotion is a no no. She used j&j to demonstrate but made it known she is NOT a fan. They apparently have a lot of chemicals and formaldehyde (saw an article recently but can't remember where.)

She made the comment like pp who said anything you put on skin is absorbed. I hear good things about California Baby at Target so I got some of that.

OakvilleMomof3+1 · February 2014

Do your best and remember we all survived soaps, paint, old fashioned cribs..... Our parents didn't use bath thermometers to get it exact.....
You'll make yourself crazy trying to follow everyone's suggestions. Even asking several medical pros will yield you several opinions.
You'll do fine mama!!

springbaby03 · February 2014

I immediately thought of this pic from the simpsons...

You have common sense and you care about your baby, you'll figure out the rest. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Want a personalized experience?

I feel so clueless and overwhelmed!

Re: I feel so clueless and overwhelmed!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards