Single Parents

I know. I know.

Gosh damn it this shit is hard. LO seriously must have colic which was my worst nightmare for infancy. Dealing with a crying baby 24/7 when you have NOBODY to help you sucks a big one. Bad. I know I'm bitching for the 1, 000th time about this but I'm exhausted. I've tried EVERYTHING and would love to take her to chiro but isn't covered by insurance and god knows I have no money. I try so hard to be patient and do everything I can to soothe her but sometimes I just have to let her go for a couple minutes. I'm planning on going to FL to be with fam in the next couple weeks vs waiting until May bc I need help. I just can't do this day in and day out nonstop. Even if i had someone here locally, I have a small apt and no way could i get sleep while she's screaming her head off with someone else holding her.

I love my daughter but I'm ready for this period to be over and for me to actually be able to do more with her than soothe her wailing and listen to her scream.

PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014

Re: I know. I know.

  • What @lurchbaby said. Its okay to walk away for five to ten minutes.

    Also i found it helped me stay calm to yoga breathing during those small breaks.

    I know it doesnt feel like it but it does get better
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  • I am right there with you. H left when DD was only 3 months. Its only been a month and I am so exhausted. She is EBF and eats constantly. At four months, I am lucky to get a five hour stretch of sleep. Add to that a five year old that doesn't understand why daddy isn't here every night. I cry a lot. It helps to get out the frustration.
     Today my mom kept the kids and gave me $40 to go get my eyebrows waxed and a pedicure. I felt so guilty, but it made me feel better. So, don't forget to take care of you. If you are like me and have zero money to spend on that shit, then plop kiddo in the bouncer in the bathroom and take a long shower. The sound might help LO sleep. Take little one for a stroll through the mall. Do a home medi/pedi. I know it sounds stupid to do something like that during such a rough time, but sometimes doing mundane things helps to clear away the cobwebs. (((Hugs)))

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  • If that don't work...wine will. I'm kidding. Sort of. :P

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  • Cosmetology schools, yo. When you get thirty bucks thatll cover a pedicure and an eye brow wax. But take someone with you to watch your dd. The schools are cramped and dont have a lot of space.

    Also i dont know what the weather is like for you gys but if its not bitter cold throw the snow suit on her and go outside for ten fifteen minutes. Kids love fresh air
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  • I have no experience with colic and very little with breast feeding.  However, isn't there SOMETHING your pedi can do for your LO?  Could it be something you're eating?  Have you tried gas drops?
  • Gas drops, and if you haven't already, read Happiest Baby on the Block. My little girl was SO colicky and I know exactly how you feel -- I thought I was going to lose my damn mind. Even worse that you don't have anyone you can hand her off to.

    And as others have said, it will not hurt her for you to put her down for five minutes and just step outside (where you can't hear) and breathe so that you can maintain your composure. Just put her in her crib where she will be safe. I recall around the time DD was 4 or 5 weeks old one day she was just inconsolable and I'd been listening to her scream for two hours I was just so upset I was crying myself (and babies can pick up on your emotions so I'm sure that didn't help). I put her in her crib, went outside, called a friend, calmed down, and came back in with a renewed sense of energy for dealing with the problem. 

    I know she's still teeny tiny, but also, distractions seemed to help us at that age. I'd show her pictures on the wall and talk to her about them, or (gasp, horrors), put the TV on Nick Jr so she could hear the music and see the colors. If nothing else, I was at least entertaining myself :) 

    I promise you this phase doesn't last long, even though I KNOW it seems like it's going to last forever. You will both will survive!
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  • My little brother had colic that it turned out was due to digestive problems. He's autistic so even as a baby he didn't communicate like other kids so it was hard to figure out what was wrong. I'm not kidding when I say it scarred 9-10 year old me to have to hear that constant crying and not be able to get away from it.

    Yeah I would talk to your pedi some more. When my mom FINALLY took my brother to the doctor the dude figured it out and my brother got better pretty quickly. And maybe you could try a different pedi who might have different ideas.
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  • @tig594 - I already have her one month appt scheduled for next week, so I'm going to ask her about all of this then since she wasn't doing this at her two week appointment. I do use gas drops, cycle her legs, rub her tummy, etc. and it doesn't seem to help a whole lot. I'm not even sure it's always gas. I started gripe water yesterday and it takes away her hiccups instantly, but doesnt seem like it does much for the fuss. I guess I will give it some more time and see this weekend. I cut out dairy, since that is the most common issue. I don't do dairy anyway but eat cheese every now and then, cream cheese on my bagel, so that sort of thing. Not anymore.

    @mrs.tbc - I have the book but just don't have time to finish reading it between her and school and life. I watched a clip of the techniques on YouTube and implemented some of them a long time ago, but normally I'm just too tired to do the whole shebang. I'm going to hopefully try soon. Most the time things calm her for a few minutes and then she's roaring again which is massively frustrating. The only thing that seems to soothe her is to try everything, then put her in her swing, let her cry for 2-3 minutes, and then she passes out.

    @minnesotamomma91 - I wish we had a solid massage school around here like we did in Charlotte. It was like $30 for an hour massage, no tipping. It was beyond amazing. We have them here, but they are more $$$. I do my own nails and got a fungus once from a pedi so I kinda don't do them anymore. I may have to try again though.

    @beccaga16 - thanks! Yeah I don't eat a lot of those things anyway, but cut out dairy a couple days ago and I hate eggs. I will have to cut the wheat also. Yeah when it was a little warmer outside I was walking everyday. Now it's pretty frigid and the last thing I want to do is get her sick, so I'm kinda holding off on walks at the moment...but will start them up again ASAP. 

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
  • Did you go to a salon or a school? Schools you typically have less chance of funguses because they are held to a higher standard of cleanlieness.

    But, that aside. Now that ds and i have survived newborn boot camp, the four month sleep regression, and transitioning from co sleeping to his own bed its gotten easier.

    Also try cutting out gluten.
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  • @minnesotamomma91 It was a salon :-X So embarassing and took like over a year to get rid of. Gross! Will look into schools.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
  • Yeah, schools are cleaner. Salons especially nail salons are beyond gross with cleaning standards. If your going to get manicures or pedicures i suggest either a school or a salon like aveda or more higher end. The more high end the cleaner brcause they want to protect their reputations and clientel.

    Schools have to be clean because they have more too loose as do the students to loose.
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    edited February 2014
    I was planning to get a pedi this weekend and now I'm terrified. LOL.

    I do live right next to an Aveda school though..hmm.
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  • mrs.tbc said:

    I was planning to get a pedi this weekend and now I'm terrified. LOL.


    I do live right next to an Aveda school though..hmm.
    Go to the aveda school! You will have an awesome experience there. Most real salons are clean.

    I completley advocate for not going to mall nail salons.
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  • Oh I know, I always get my hair done there (or I did before we moved to MA...probably will again now that I'm back in FL) and they did an excellent job. It took a bajillion years to get a haircut and color because the master stylist had to come check everything but at least it looked great when I left.
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  • I loved my school, i wish i could get back already
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