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Symptoms and Anxiety *first loss mentioned*

RosefuuRosefuu member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Hi all.  I had a mmc last January (2013), and my husband and I have been trying ever since.  If you want to read more of my story, search for my other post on the TTCAL forum, my only other post, which I suppose qualifies me for semi-lurker status.

I just got my first positive test after the mmc last week and am in the middle of my fifth week.  As with many other women in my place (our place), the anxiety has been really bad.  I just can't stop running through the what-ifs and bad possibilities.  Every little twinge has me thinking, is this it?  Is this where it happens this time?  Last time I remember just being so happy, and now I can't get happy about it for the life of me.  

And now, it's as if the second-guessing is even leading me to other anxieties that I didn't have last time, like are we even ready to be parents?  Last time, I was so positive and so ready, but now one fear just seems to be snowballing into every fear imaginable.  I've been trying to go for a one-day-at-a-time, mindfulness approach, but it gets really difficult on my walks to and from work; I try to think only about my walk, but then I get depressed by the winter scenery.

What isn't making this any easier are my early symptoms.  I know that it is early for some to have symptoms, but I've definitely been having sore nipples, tender boobs, and a lingering light headache (which is unusual for me).  However, the symptoms seem to die down if not disappear entirely at night; I'll wake up in the morning and panic because my boobs feel fine, but then after about fifteen minutes of being awake the soreness returns.  Now I'm wondering if this is normal.  Anyone experience this?

Anyway, I was just wanting to ask for a shout out or suggestions on dealing with all of this.
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Re: Symptoms and Anxiety *first loss mentioned*

  • Emma2370Emma2370 member
    Congratulations and welcome. What your experiencing is totally Normal.symptoms come and go. Try to relax, find a hobby. Write down your feelings. Early days are so tough.. I would call your dr and see if you can get an early ultrasound in the next week or two.
    BFP #1 7/25/13. MMC 8/26/13 8 weeks 5days Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic BFP #2 11/5/13 chemical pregnancy 11/9/13 BFP #3 12/28/13 "Our HOPE baby"
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  • HorseLover11HorseLover11 member
    Welcome and congrats!! I've been there where the fear just keeps snow balling. I had a great talk with my acupuncturist about it and she said you need to work on rationalizing your fear. Acknowledge it but keep moving on. Her example was a thunderstorm - yes they can be scary and you prepare by closing windows, getting flashlights, calling DH to check in etc but you don't have a full blown panic attack. Thinking of it this way helped me and I hope can also help you when you're having a hard day.

    Off BC, NTNP since June 2011

    Started acupuncture/herbs July 2012 

    First BFP 9-8-2012,EDD 5-15-2013, heartbeat of 175 at 8w2d, mmc discovered on 10-26-12 (11w6d) Cytotec on 10/26/12

    8/23/13 DX with non-IR PCOS

    Second BFP 9.12.13, EDD 5.29.14, heartbeat of 114 at 6w1d, mmc discovered on 10-18-13, D&C on 10/23/13 (baby girl/Trisomy 10) 

    Third BFP (surprise at Beta draw after d&c) on 1/10/14 (15dpo), EDD 9.20.14 Please be our RAINBOW!

     Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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  • jarc2009jarc2009 member
    Congrats and welcome!
    It has been helping me to distract myself as much as possible and talk to DH about my feelings.
    I also have been trying to take it just each day at a time.

    Hope this helps!!

    TTC #1 since Summer 2013
    Diagnosed with PCOS- treatment:1000 mg Metformin
    BFP #1 8/9/13 EDD 4/26/14 D&C 8/29/13
    BFP #2 2/6/14 EDD 10/16/14- keeping our fingers crossed!
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  • mtaylor404mtaylor404 member
    Congrats on your bfp.  I can really relate to your post and how the fear of a loss turns into so many other fears.  I also understand what you mean about letting other, non-baby things get you down.  I found myself just generally depressed alot of this pregnancy because that is how my worry/fear/anxiety was expressing itself.  I wish I had a "tip" for getting rid of those worries, but I don't.  I do have some things that help: I have seen a therapist that was helpful.  I try to speak my fears outloud- either to myself, DH, mom, SIL, etc.  I think that saying them out loud sometimes gives them merit, but it also helps me realize exactly what I am scared of instead of just experiencing a generalized fear.  I also think that distractions are good, but I have a hard time doing that.  I hope you find some solace and are able to calm your worries and sadness.  
    Married 8/4/12
    BFP #1 EDD 12/5/13, MMC
    BFP #2 EDD 4/27/14- Our rainbow arrived 5/1/14!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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