Intro, Beginning the DS IUI Process

pmv81 · January 2014

Hello All!

I'm new to this forum and the infertility world, to a certain extent. So please disregard my lack of acronyms and general knowledge. I'm trying to learn as much as I can & I think my head might spin off. I already posted in the wrong board here, but I think I've found my right place….

A little background about me…my husband and I have been together for 4 years now, married 2 1/2. I've known from right after we started dating that having biological children between the two of us was unlikely due do hormone treatments my husband has been on for nearly a decade for other issues. Knowing that we decided to try for the last year with a variety of shots he would give himself weekly to try and stimulate sperm production. This was a trying process and took a toll on him, but we wanted to know that we tried everything we could….even though he has been told for many years it wouldn't happen.

We were recently told, in a rather blunt and very uncomfortable doctor visit, that we need to look into alternatives because it is just not going to happen. I wanted to scream at the doctor for his lack of compassion when delivery this news. I wasn't expecting that kind of visit.

We've always said we would have a family one way or another and all that matters is we have each other to build that family. So we've decided that we would try the donor route first, and if that doesn't work for us we will look into adoption. The only bright side of this is we are finally one step closer to having our family and that part definitely brings a sense of excitement. My husband and I feel even closer than ever right now and I'm very thankful to be married to such a wonderful man.

As I am new to this, I have so many questions. For those of you who have been through the IUI (donor or otherwise) process, did you have to pay for your consultation visit? How many of your cycles did they need to monitor before you were able to go forward with the procedure? I am trying to set up an apt with the clinic my doctor recommended and they can't see my until March 12th and now I'm getting nervous they won't be able to do anything until May after all the tests are complete, etc. Like I said, so new to all of this!

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I've been trolling this site for about a week and happy to have an outlet to go to. I overanalyze everything in life it feels like so with something like this, my brain is going into overdrive and I just might talk my husbands ear right off.

Cmartin6706 · January 2014

Are you using a bank for your DS?

pmv81 · January 2014

Yes. After I wrote this post I started thinking, I wonder how long it'd take to find a match?

DoublePortion · January 2014

Welcome! I did 3 IUIs a few years back, not with DS though. My insurance covered my initial consult other than a $50 copay since my coverage included everything up to a diagnosis of infertility. It just depends on if you have ins and what your policy covers. My 1st appt with my RE was in late Sept and my 1st IUI with him was in Nov. We did some lab work and then waited for my period to start since I'd already had some testing done with my GYN. FX the process moves fast for you!

pmv81 · January 2014

Thank you for your reply! Hopefully my insurance covers some and I want to look into if some of these expenses would qualify for my FSA account. My doctor did run some tests on me (blood work during my cycle & an ultrasound) last year while my husband was going through all of his shots, we wanted to get an idea of where I stand reproductively. She'll send over that information to the specialist, hopefully that'll help.

I have been reading so many posts on here and I definitely have a lot to learn, it's a bit overwhelming.

Cmartin6706 · January 2014

Using DS especially from a bank is super easy. Way easier than embryos or eggs. There is no matching process. You two pick the bank, then the donor, purchase and ship. I asked bc my wife and I went with FairFax Cryo bank mostly bc they have an online facial matching program. It worked beyond amazing for us. Our son looks so much like me it's crazy.

pmv81 · January 2014

@cmartin6706 Wow, I didn't even know that type of service was available, that is amazing!

Cmartin6706 · January 2014

Our insurance completely covers unlimited IUIs with no copayment needed. Insurance companies vary a lot of what they cover.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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pmv81 · January 2014

Thanks @marshmallowevening, that information definitely helps get an idea of things. So nice of you to share those details.

I think the specialist waiting to see uses California Cryobank, I'm not sure if that means that is their "preferred" bank or the only bank they'll work with.

Cmartin6706 · January 2014

@pmv81 - every bank has positives. You can usually look through DS profiles online. If you don't see what your looking for (donor or otherwise) or would rather use a different bank just let your RE know. It shouldn't be a problem as banks ship DS all the time. Also, I'd advise you to get on the bank's email list (usually you can do this online) and keep your eyes open for specials. Our bank has them often. We joined their "club" and for $100 got free shipping and a deal that allowed two free vials. Membership paid for itself the moment we purchased our DS. Also, IF you do end up going to IVF our RE scraped off the top part of one of our IUI vials. We will use the same process again if we end up in IVF again. I say this so you don't stress too much about vials and future uses. Chris

Km672 · January 2014

Cmartin6706 said:

Using DS especially from a bank is super easy. Way easier than embryos or eggs. There is no matching process. You two pick the bank, then the donor, purchase and ship. I asked bc my wife and I went with FairFax Cryo bank mostly bc they have an online facial matching program. It worked beyond amazing for us. Our son looks so much like me it's crazy.

I had no idea they could do this, sounds amazing! We will be looking into this. It would be great if our child could look like one of us, given we are using both DE and DS.

Cmartin6706 · January 2014

@Km672 - using facial matching made it easier for me to go with DS even though I was already ready bc I wanted a baby. You can do the match yourself by uploading a photo into the bank's website and be viewing the results just seconds later. Seriously though ppl can't believe we used a donor. My wife says that I'm the only one he looks like. Not the traditional surrogate. Not the donor (we've seen a baby photo). Just me. God is good.

pmv81 · January 2014

Thanks Chris, I'll look into getting on the mailing list for the bank they work with ahead of time. I've been sharing this info with my husband, although he is 100% on board with this decision either way, it definitely brought him some comfort knowing there are options out there that could result in our baby resembling both of us. Most importantly though, we just want a healthy baby whatever way God intends for that to happen for us.

scorpgirl1120 · January 2014

Welcome to the board! I used DS and first went to a fertility specialist. He told me he could get me pregnant in four months but that was just hopeful thinking. The process takes a whole to get started but once you do get past all the tests and whatnot you can try month after month till you've had enough! The tests are all worth it and even though I know you're anxious and wanna get moving with it take your time and do what you need to do to be healthy.

As far as IUI...it sucks going through it is so worth it. Hope you find lots of support here!

jdionne · January 2014

Welcome! We are in the process of IUI with DS. So far I have had my testing, tsh level was too high so working on getting that level down we re test on feb 10th. We were required to go meet with a psychologist. The clinic we use allows us to use an FDA approved sperm bank. We are lucky that we have ins coverage. Looking forward to being able to do our first IUI. Good luck to you!!!

pmv81 · January 2014

@jdionne, how exciting! I'm looking forward to hearing your story more. Good luck and I hope you get good results on Feb 10th and get the green light to go forward.

Can I ask when you started the whole process, testing, etc. ?

2MamazInSeattle · February 2014

Hi and welcome! I used California Cryobank and was very happy. They offer an array of services and are one if the largest banks so there is a lot of selection, easy to use website and great customer service.

We paid for the 3-month unlimited full information package. It allowed us to see baby and childhood pictures, listen to audio interviews and more. When I got pregnant the first time, we got an info packet with the photos and interview on disc, plus printouts of all his intake forms, etc. We want as much information for our LO as possible and I plan to make an age-appropriate online book to tell him/her all about the donors (we used an egg donor too) from a young age. We want to take the mystery out of it as much as possible.
Another thing to consider is if you want a "WTBK" willing to be known donor when the child turns 18. Its very personal, but we felt if our child wanted to find their donor we'd never want to deprive them of that option, so we only considered the identity release donors who agree to have info released to the child once they're 18.

You will also have a test called CMV. If you are negative, you'll need to select a negative donor (the search engine on the sperm bank sites make this easy). It does limit the choices but I didn't mind having it narrowed down and we still had plenty of selection! If you are positive you can have any donor.

Even if your insurance doesn't cover IF, have it all sent in because as a PP said, some things don't come up as IF and get covered, which is awesome.

As for how long it takes, I couldn't do IUI so no personal experience, but since I'm on the LGBT board a lot, and 80% of women there do monitored IUIs, it usually goes pretty fast. The more you know about your cycles when you go in, the better. They'll likely check thyroid (TSH), cmv status, and require a counseling session since you're using a donor. Once that's done ots just a wait fir CD1 (cycle day 1, ie your period) and then they'll check your follicles as your approach ovulation. They may do a trigger shot to force ovulation or not, but they'll time the insemination with your ovulation.

You may want to troll or even post a question as to how long it too to get going on LGBT. There are a lot of historical posts that might help you!

Last thing, watching my pals over on LGBT, stats show each IUI is about a 20% chance of pregnancy. It's not abnormal to take 6-8+ cycles to work. Also some have had crappy sperm counts or motility even from great reputable banks and had to switch donors. Just know it can be a bit if a process...but it's worth it!

Good luck, and hope this helps a little!

pmv81 · February 2014

@2MamazinSeattle thank you so much for all of that information & your suggestions. Its so helpful hearing others personal experiences when we are facing some of these decisions and learning more about the process. I did read about the 20% success rate and I'm doing my best to think as positive about such a low success rate as possible, it's a good reminder that I just need to breath and think positive and pray for the best. AND be patient! Easier said than done. I'm just happy to be moving towards something that may lead to starting our family.

nblondheim · February 2014

I wish I would've found this board when we went through this!!!
My DH and I will also never be able to have biological children. We looked went an infertility clinic that was very understanding and helpful. We chose to use DS and so IUI. I had some tests done to make sure everything looked good on my end and it did. We used California Cryobank and I loved it. I plugged in my DHs traits and we picked the donor closest to his features. We had success on the first try! I got pregnant with twins and my pregnancy dud gave sine minor issues. My water broke at 26 weeks but I was able to hold on almost 5 weeks and delivered at 30 weeks 6 days. The twins turned 1 month yesterday!!!

It's an intense process but my DH and I are closer now than we've ever been!! Good luck and I'm here to help in any way I can!

Cmartin6706 · February 2014

@pmv81 - try not to sweat it. Our 38 year old traditional surrogate got pregnant on her first IUI after a mistake happened with the trigger shot and we weren't sure both of her tubes were clear. First times happen but don't worry if it takes a few extra times too.

pmv81 · February 2014

nblondheim!! Congratulations! I'm sure that was a scary time, I'm so happy for you that everything is going well and the twins are healthy

jdionne · February 2014

@pmv81 I did my testing 1/3/14, the clinic did blood work and a vaginal ultrasound. They were very quick to get back to us with the results. When my tsh level came back to high they had me start my thyroid medication ASAP. Good luck to you!

jdionne · February 2014

One step closer to IUI, thyroid level is in the correct range. Fx we will be trying sometime first week in March!

pmv81 · February 2014

@Jdionne Sorry for my late reply, I don't seem to get notifications of posts even though I set my settings to do so….anyway, YAY! That is great and I will be keeping my Fx for you. I can't wait to try!

lincoln79 · February 2014

you have received a lot of good info. no expertise to add here, other than to say welcome to the board!

jdionne · February 2014

@pmv81 US this morning showed 3 mature follicles, scheduled to do my Hcg shot tonight and go in Saturday morning for IUI. This is our first try.

How is your process going?

mrs&mrsk · April 2014

Cmartin6706 thanks for the info on fairfax face matching! we may choose there now!

tifga · April 2014

I am in the TWW for IUI #5 as of yesterday.
I'm in Canada so I am lucky government insurance covers my RE appointments and monitoring I just have to pay for my IUI and sperm.

When we got the referral to our RE they sent a bunch of blood work and husbands SA test so that when we met we had less work to do. That being said II had a long wait after we met with our RE the first time because I had to get the chicken pox vaccine and that is a long one. But they did more tests and a day 3 b/w and ultrasound, my sono, and psych eval so it only felt a little like wasted time. After the 2 1/2 month wait for the chicken pox vaccine we went back and started the next cycle (( had just ovulated the day before that appointment).

As for picking out sperm it was harder because husband doesn't remotely care if the babies look like him. Picking out the first donor was hard when our only real criteria is no asthma no celiac and CMV-. Picking out our new donor went better because we used the bank in town instead of an American bank and they only had like half dozen people who were CMV-

Good luck I hope you get started soon.

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