Special Needs
lemen99
member
Kids with autism & sibling interaction
lemen99
member
I'm at my wit's end and in discussions with my son's therapists, but am looking for any more info I can find. My son is 5 years old was a micropreemie and has a lot of little issues, one being mildly on the spectrum. The doc is holding out for a formal diagnosis but that would happen soon, I think. He's in OT PT ST, developmental preschool, and attention issues, severe sensory issues & treated for anxiety. He gets outpatient OT for sensory issues and LOVES it. He does well at school. He is very tired b/c he cannot nap.
I'm having issues with him and his brother, who is 2 yr 9 months typical.
I just finished washing his feet and was brushing his teeth for bed. He'd been pretty good today. He was in a good mood. Ryan was helping Elliott in the 2nd bathroom. He'd slicked Elliott's hair up all funny with water, and Elliott wanted to show Andrew. Elliott came running in my bathroom (where I'm with Andrew) and he's so excited about his funny hair. Andrew thinks it's awesome, he is excited, laughing, and then out of nowhere...WHAM. Shoves his hands in Elliott's face, forcing him to fall back against the cabinet doors. Elliott is crying, Andrew is laughing hysterically, until I of course am mad and telling him he hurt Elliott, laughing isn't appropriate and he needs to tell him he's sorry.
The situation is usually similar. He usually isn't frustrated or mad when it happens (although sometimes, and then he does it too, like if his brother grabs a toy he lashes out, or if his brother is sobbing in his face loudly, but I think that is more understandable) but maybe just excited. Some days he does it literally all day long. It does not matter how many toys I take away, or how much time he spends in time out. He generally is a rule follower and when he isn't pushing, he's very very very sweet with Elliott.
I talked to his outpatient OT and she thought possibly he was somewhat sensory seeking. But I wonder if either in excitement if he doesn't know what to do with himself, or, if he can't control his "force", if he's just comfortable with his brother he's so excited but he doesn't know how to really interact socially/appropriately. Or possibly he is just very overstimulated around his very very silly brother. They are so so very hyper when they are together.
(He doesn't do this at all with other kids, but he's generally more reserved around other kids...however he did do it once to a 2 year old this week (and was just walking by him, so it was out of nowhere).
When he does it, after we explain that he hurt Elliott then he generally gets really upset. I'm not sure if he's upset because I'm upset, or if he's upset because he feels bad for hurting his brother.
My friends tell me their siblings fight all the time, but it doesn't even really seem like fighting. I really don't know if it's "normal" although doesn't necessarily appear normal to me at his age, and I don't know if/what to do about it.
The only sure fire way I can get him to stop is if I am actively engaging him in something, like reading, doing his snap circuit project, having him practice letters...which is fine, but if I'm not doing that he's usually in trouble and I don't want to ignore a problem if there is something else I should do. We are building a sensory swing in our home and getting him a compression shirt to try.
any insight or advice is appreciated.
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Re: Kids with autism & sibling interaction
Since the younger one is old enough to interact, maybe have them engaging in play which doesn't require a lot of contact (IE bubbles, cooking/baking together, puzzles...) things that encourage teamwork.
However when he DOES push, what would an appropriate reaction be? Frequently it happens if I'm out in another room and they are free playing, let's say I stepped away to get the laundry, what would you do?