s/o personalities

kelly321 · February 2014

Do you think your online personality is different from your IRL personality? Are you more outgoing/verbal because you're interacting with the screen? More reserved because tone doesn't come across well? More/less trusting?

wifeofadam · February 2014

I think I'm generally the same, although I don't debate much IRL because there isn't a point. I enjoy the discussion here, but I rarely find a discussion about these types of topics to be pleasurable IRL.

I'm described as very "serious" IRL. My best friend tells me that I need to lighten up all the time.

In a social setting I'm usually very quiet. I hate large groups of people and prefer a small group of like 3-5. I'm pretty outspoken with a small group, but painfully shy in a large one.

kelly321 · February 2014

I feel like my online personality is at least close to my IRL personality. After being flamed once in the past for posting something I didn't give much thought to, I tend to be a little more careful, maybe slightly more reserved than IRL. But I don't know if "reservedness" transfers well to online forums - it just looks like I'm not around and/or commenting

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt IRL, though, and that really transfers here. Sometimes when people get really offended about a comment and some sort of war starts, I just think, "what? I don't think she meant it like that..." Except when it comes to BFing. As drea said in another thread, that's really sore spot with me and I get really defensive really quickly. That's true IRL, too, though

ETA: Please excuse my really obvious overuse of "really"... I'm 1/2 way into my glass of wine after a hard day...

Puck1182 · February 2014

I'm a bit more vocal here, I think. I'm fairly introverted IRL... I like being around my friends, but when I'm with people I feel like I have to be "on" and am very aware of what I'm saying and doing, because social interaction doesn't come naturally to me. If I don't put conscious thought into it, I avoid eye contact, talk to loud and too fast, and am terrible at knowing when it's my turn to talk. I can apparently be quite charming when I'm thinking about all those things, I'm great at job interviews and it was my admission interview that clinched my full scholarship to college... but it's tiring.

Online, I can take my time deciding what to say. It's my words, not my tone of voice or body language, that matter here. So this kind of interaction is much more suited to my personality. :-)

kleigh926 · February 2014

I think my online personality is pretty close to my IRL personality. I usually don't have much of a filter and say exactly what I'm thinking. I'm trying to get better with that. I think I am probably more tactful online because I'm writing it out and I can reread before posting, whereas IRL whatever I blurt out is there to stay. People usually don't have to wonder what I feel about something

That said, I think I know in most situations what is inappropriate or hurtful and I don't say that. I really don't like to offend people and I get very stressed out when I feel like I may have said something that I shouldn't have.

Rynleigh · February 2014

I am more coherent in written text. A lot of the opinions I hold and things I think are based on text based research, and I learn best through reading. Trying to listen to other people, decrypt what they mean, and then respond without becoming frustrated that I cannot just transfer a link to the other person's brain becomes very emotionally draining... but I don't tend to scare as many people off in the real world, either. My intense emotions make for a lot of entertainment if I am excited, baffled, annoyed, or drunk..

SidraJedi · February 2014

I think I come off more vapid online than IRL. IRL it just looks like I am insecure and don't know what to say, which is closer to the truth.

As far as communication goes, I tend to leap before I look and favor brevity over clarity, usually because I want to rush to get an idea out instead of making sure I can be understood, specifically by who is listening. Also I tend to try to do too much so I am always in a crunch for time. That happens IRL as well as online. It can drive DH up the wall sometimes. The flip side is that I can be very astute bc I can usually cut to the chase, but I don't know if that shows up online as much bc there is so much that can be inferred/misinterpreted/unknown from text only communication on both sides.

wifeofadam · February 2014

Rynleigh said:

I am more coherent in written text. A lot of the opinions I hold and things I think are based on text based research, and I learn best through reading. Trying to listen to other people, decrypt what they mean, and then respond without becoming frustrated that I cannot just transfer a link to the other person's brain becomes very emotionally draining... but I don't tend to scare as many people off in the real world, either. My intense emotions make for a lot of entertainment if I am excited, baffled, annoyed, or drunk..

This is so me.

Rynleigh · February 2014

I think I come off pretty harsh online sometimes just because the "bitch" doesn't come coated in absurdity here.

While I might say something like, "Sugar is horrible for teeth. If you don't want to eat sugarless foods, you should be very proactive with your oral hygiene" online, in the real world it would come out more like this... "You need to go brush your teeth. All of that sugar just got all over your teeth and now the tiny little army of bugs that live in your mouth are nomming on all of that sugar and if you don't go brush it out right now they are going to crap in your mouth. and then your mouth will be full of nasty germ poo and your teeth will turn yellow and then the germs will eat their own poo again. and then they will fart in your mouth. and then your breath will smell like nasty germ farts in the morning. and then the poos will start rotting your teeth and putting holes in them. That's disgusting. Go brush your teeth." and then send them a link about oral health on facebook.

and I'll say it that way to my 11yr old daughter or to my 28yr old sister in pretty much exactly the same words. Yep.

SidraJedi · February 2014

Puck1182 said:

I'm a bit more vocal here, I think. I'm fairly introverted IRL... I like being around my friends, but when I'm with people I feel like I have to be "on" and am very aware of what I'm saying and doing, because social interaction doesn't come naturally to me. If I don't put conscious thought into it, I avoid eye contact, talk to loud and too fast, and am terrible at knowing when it's my turn to talk. I can apparently be quite charming when I'm thinking about all those things, I'm great at job interviews and it was my admission interview that clinched my full scholarship to college... but it's tiring. Online, I can take my time deciding what to say. It's my words, not my tone of voice or body language, that matter here. So this kind of interaction is much more suited to my personality. :-)

I'm almost the exact opposite. I can be socially awkward IRL for sure, but I need to see people to communicate with them. I feel like I'm more socially awkward online. Maybe it has something to do with my being visually oriented.

ETA: meaning that I am a visual learner and hands-on as opposed to learning by reading/writing like adamwife and rynleigh were saying.

tamarar5 · February 2014

I think I'm pretty much the same IRL than here. The only difference is that I don't really like large groups. I tend to not participate.

tamarar5 · February 2014

Oh, and I don't really believe what people are saying IRL, especially if the person is telling a story or giving me an excuse. I have no patience for that crap IRL. But that might have more to do with my former employment than with anything else.

Drea926 · February 2014

I think my personality is pretty much the same!

I'd like to think that I'm friendly and outgoing both in real life and online.

What do say @DublinMama? You know me both places. :P

DublinMama · February 2014

I'm pretty much Dubs bein' Dubs lol. What you see is pretty much what you get, here and IRL. I would say I am marginally less confrontational in person, because IRL face to face confrontations can escalate quickly. I'm outspoken, but I don't go looking for drama, either.

Drea926 · February 2014

Teacher Clark said:

Hmmm, I'm guessing I'm the same? I'm a really straight forward person IRL. I don't even know I'm being straight forward, but apparently I am. As I've said before, I'm all logic. I think it is hard for people to relate to me. I'm not into most pop culture and I am fairly reserved. I find that I can have the same ideas as others, but I must not get my point across as well because people don't seem to understand me. There is something about me that fails to click with other people. I usually never make it past the casual conversation phase to a friendship phase. I've grown less and less trusting of people as I've grown older and life has knocked me down a bit. I know as a teacher, students like my class and say they learn the subject better from me then their friends are learning it from the other chem teachers, but I'm not the type that students want to have lunch and hang with either.

I don't know Teach. I think we'd be friends IRL.

It's funny, while I have many friends with the same personality type as me, I also find myself drawn to having friendships with people who are more logical and straight forward. My BFF from high school (who is a chemical engineer) sounds a lot like you. We fit really well together because she sets me straight when my emotions spiral and I can help her to look at the more touchy-feely side of things and help her not get freaked out by it!

You sound smart, funny and caring. Who wouldn't want to be friends with you?!

TarheelMama202 · February 2014

Hmmm, I'm guessing I'm the same? I'm a really straight forward person IRL. I don't even know I'm being straight forward, but apparently I am. As I've said before, I'm all logic. I think it is hard for people to relate to me. I'm not into most pop culture and I am fairly reserved. I find that I can have the same ideas as others, but I must not get my point across as well because people don't seem to understand me. There is something about me that fails to click with other people. I usually never make it past the casual conversation phase to a friendship phase. I've grown less and less trusting of people as I've grown older and life has knocked me down a bit. I know as a teacher, students like my class and say they learn the subject better from me then their friends are learning it from the other chem teachers, but I'm not the type that students want to have lunch and hang with either.

We sound incredibly similar.

TarheelMama202 · February 2014

I'm much more reserved here than I am in real life. Can you believe that?

In real life, I am very to-the-point and can often come across as brash. I don't discuss a lot of hot-topic issues on here at length because I have pretty extreme views, and I don't see the point in it. (The one I will chime in with is vaccination-- and that's because, as most of you know, it's sort of my hill to die on). I realize I'm not going to convince a stranger in an internet forum to share my beliefs, and I honestly don't want to. I truly just come here for the fun, and I save the real debating and discussing for my real-life friends.

At the same time, I would say that my best feature in real life is my sense of humor. It's very bizarre and I think I'm pretty quick with a response and witty. Most people that I'm friends with, if asked, would say it's my best quality. (Sidenote: I was voted "Class Clown" of my high school class

). I find it's really, really difficult to translate my sense of humor into an online forum where I don't know most of you IRL. If I actually said a lot of what comes into my mind, you guys would definitely question my sanity (even more than you already do) and possibly become offended. When in reality, I would just be being myself: vulgar, crass, sarcastic, and ultimately ridiculous.

Gftf7 · February 2014

I'm much much shyer online than IRL. I lurked on this board most of the way through pregnancy and didn't get an account and make my first post until LO was 6 mo old. I don't post much on Facebook either and am cautious about social media in general. I don't enjoy writing and the perfectionist side of me will review and edit way more than is necessary. During face-to-face conversations, I am able to gather a lot of information by observing body language and facial expressions. Changes in tone and pauses during phone conversations often say more than the words being used. I miss that information during written conversations.

Gftf7 · February 2014

Thanks for the compliment. It's something I picked up because I was usually watching an activity instead of participating in it. I've spent a lot of life watching from the sidelines.

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