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DS's first birthday is on mothers day....WWYD

aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member
in Parenting

DS's first birthday is going to fall on mothers day this year. Part of me just wants to have it on his original birthday because having him is a mothers day present enough for me anyway, however the thought of having ALL of our family over is enough to ruin mothers day for me (my 2nd mothers day since he was born the Saturday before, so not really that big of a deal). The only other bonus to it being the same is I get family mothers day obligations out of the way too.

Problem it is his first birthday and I know he doesn't really understand everything but I want it to be special for him, and part of me wonders if sharing the holiday would make it any less special.

So here are two options I have come up with.

1. Have both the same day. (good I only have one day to deal with instead of a whole weekend of festivities, bad- people outside the family I want to invite will have their own family obligations that day.)

2. Do one of the events the day before ( I was thinking mothers day but either really.)-the good he has his own day and if I do his birthday the day before then more people will probably come. The bad I will be very worn out by the end of the weekend

 

WWYD

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Re: DS's first birthday is on mothers day....WWYD

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  • theimpossibleastronauttheimpossibleastronaut member
    Agree with all of what @ctgirl30 and @wasnotwas said.
    Lilypie - (KNqh)
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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member
    Wow thanks everyone all really great points and I think I will talk DH about having it close to his birthday but on a different day. I also want to add I wasn't going to have anything huge, I was mostly worried about my SIL's attendance and 2 other people. I was going to invite a new friend that has 3 babies (one a month young then my DS) to have some kids around and a really good friend from college who said she has already gotten his birthday present. My biggest thing is having family around for him and seeing him smoosh his first cake (because that is what it is all about right?) I might text those three people and see what they prefer to so I know what day to move it to. Thanks All!

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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member

    I just want to state how much I love this parenting board, you all have a way to state things that make it so much better and aren't making me feel bad. I posted this exact same question on the may 2013 birthdays board wondering if anyone else had a LO with the same birthday and what their plans were.

    I got a response that hurt me, I understand some families have traditions for almost every holiday and that is great. But to me putting your children first is why we become parents and why I am a mother anyway. I know he wont remember this birthday and it isn't a big deal. But this person made me sound like I was selfish for not even thinking about the other mothers involved. I know my mom and MIL would have a better mothers day seeing their grandson. The only one I wasn't sure of was my SIL and possibly my two close friends but I probably wouldn't invite the friends if I did it the day of.

    I just feel that when this person worded her response to me like that It was hard for me because I wouldn't expect a mother to put herself before her child and I felt that's what was being said, that mothers day trumps my son. Never.

    Sorry I just needed to vent.

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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member
    MotherOfPearl85 said:
    I stopped reading at ruining someone else's mother's day. uo: mother's day isn't a big deal to me and I don't understand why people get worked up. Although, no holiday is a big deal to me. But, since it is a big thing for you and others just have the party a different day.
    MotherOfPearl85 I don't think mothers day is a big deal and if I can celebrate it by celebrating my LOs birth that's a bonus. I just don't want to forget it is mothers day too for family and at least give them a card (if I did everything the same day). Honestly I couldn't give a shit about mothers day I feel like everyday is mothers day and the actual holiday is just an excuse to get the H to buy us something, at least until the LOs are big enough to show you they love you themselves. lol. (just trying to lighten the mood because I am still a little pee'vd

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  • ppantsppants member
    tldr, but DH's birthday is ALWAYS Mother's Day weekend.  It sucks because it seems like neither one of us really gets to have "our" day.  You'll have to get used to it.
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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  • robyn2201robyn2201 member
    I would have it the Saturday before or after. 

    Mother's Day in our family is more of a Mother's Day weekend. I take Saturday and we do an activity as a family. Sunday is spent going to lunch with MIL and Dh's grandma. My parents live cross country. 

    Every family has different traditions and for some it's more important and others don't really care about the holiday. I think more people would attend it it's on a day other than actual Mothers Day.
    Ivy: July 2010  |  Stella: Dec 2012  |  BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    I don't give a flying shit about Mother's Day (DS1's bday is that day this year) but I know other people do.  You're only selfish if you're pissed other people decline an invite to your preshus child's bday because they DO care about Mother's Day.  If you're coolio with them not showing, do it when you want.  If you rally care about all the people coming, do it another weekend.  

    I promise you, the date of the party matters for shit.  This year my oldest's party is the weekend before because of Mother's Day and I think we might even be away for the baby's 1st bday.  Oh wells.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • aintnoyuppiemomaintnoyuppiemom member

     

    aintnoyuppiemom said:

    I just want to state how much I love this parenting board, you all have a way to state things that make it so much better and aren't making me feel bad. I posted this exact same question on the may 2013 birthdays board wondering if anyone else had a LO with the same birthday and what their plans were.

    I got a response that hurt me, I understand some families have traditions for almost every holiday and that is great. But to me putting your children first is why we become parents and why I am a mother anyway. I know he wont remember this birthday and it isn't a big deal. But this person made me sound like I was selfish for not even thinking about the other mothers involved. I know my mom and MIL would have a better mothers day seeing their grandson. The only one I wasn't sure of was my SIL and possibly my two close friends but I probably wouldn't invite the friends if I did it the day of.

    I just feel that when this person worded her response to me like that It was hard for me because I wouldn't expect a mother to put herself before her child and I felt that's what was being said, that mothers day trumps my son. Never.

    Sorry I just needed to vent.


    I need to apologize for bringing my issues from another board over here that was wrong for both boards and I should've just handle that problem there. again I am sorry for that. thanks all.

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