Enjoying the Process?

gsancho · February 2014

So I feel very lucky that my director went through a crazy roller coaster with IF and is very understanding of everything I'm going through. Sometimes a little odd that he's male and talks openly about every detail of the process with me, but I feel more at ease letting him know what's going on, if I need a day off, or if I have questions about the multiple IVFs they went through.

I was talking to him about my schedule coming up for IVF #1. At the end of the conversation he told me to remember to enjoy the process. WTF?!? All I think about is how much IF sucks and it's so unfair! But as he explained, he did have a point...although he never wants to go through IVF again, he feels thankful they went through such a unique experience where they saw their babies as embryos, they know more than they ever needed to know about their bodies, and they can tell their kids how badly they were wanted. They even made a shirt that said "My Doctor Got Me Pregnant" to laugh at themselves.

I don't know if I can be that positive about it all the time, and he did admit it's easier for him to say it now that they finally got their babies. But it made me want to think of ways to make this whole thing more fun or ways to enjoy the process. Any ideas? Good luck charms to bring to appointments? Inside jokes with your DH about this whole crazy process?

gsancho · February 2014

And I should note, when they made the shirts, it was some plain shirts where they wrote it on with a marker and wore it around the house. I think I'd question his sanity if they actually had some fancy shirts made and wore them in public all the time...

jertie · February 2014

I think I love your boss - he sounds so great!! DH & I don't have anything "inside" stuff - but when I got my massive box o' meds I kind of jiggled the box and asked DH if he thought there might be a baby in there for us. (And I think I saw someone else call it a baby in a box - and I thought that was so cute too!) Thank you for sharing - your post really made me smile!

Carol77B · February 2014

Somewhat related to this, I recently had a conversation with my acupuncturist (she specilizes in fertility and IVF) about the photos of my embryos that I was given after my ET. We discussed how it was a little morbid, but would be cool to have for the baby book of a successful pregnancy. I currently have the photo of my two embryos that didn't take and I'm now conflicted as to what to do with it. Plus I was thinking about what would I do with a pic of two embryos if one only made it?

gsancho · February 2014

@jertie that does give me the idea to come up with a clever catch phrase for the meds, shot time, or the needle box. My husband hates needles, so I don't know how the big shots later in the process will go. And that needle box makes me feel like I'm running a bootleg dr's office in my kitchen. Sounds childish to find a fun saying for medicine/shot time...but these are the straws I grab at when thinking of "fun" ways to deal with IF.

Twinkie0612 · February 2014

I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child. Unfortunately it's way passed the necklace stage, it's about 4 feet long and I think around 170 beads and still growing.

I also have a few shirts and onsies picked out on cafe press.

katib77 · February 2014

I have some of my "good luck charms" if you will. I'm not superstitious enough to think they play a part but it's nice reminders of how much those around me love and support us. One is a blue stone with the word "Hope" written on it that my SIL gave me for mother's day two years ago. I keep that in my pocket throughout almost all of my last two IUI and my IVF/FET cycles. On IUI, ER and ET days I wear my blackhawk socks that I got in the first sock exchange on 3T (sadly over three years ago, but the first are still my fav). And I have a necklace I got for NIAW that says "When, not IF" and a matching bracelet that was made from pomegranate colored yarn when 3T did the "Common Thread" exchange that also has a "hope" charm.

keziah23 · February 2014

Well I don't know that we have enjoyed the process per say but we do laugh about it when we can. Last night DH was doing my PIO shot and when he pulled back to make sure there was no blood he said "ohhhh there is a bubble!" and I started giggling (bad when you have a inch and a half long needle in your butt) then he just kept on saying "this is how you get a bubble butt". by the time he was done I was cracking up.

I think the shirts are cute, I saw this the other day and it made me laugh

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/336433034633687873/

PrincessPix · February 2014

DH and I have really sick humors. We have to joke about EVERYTHING. I don't think we would have made it this far without making fun of each other. I've got new ammo now because my MOM texted him while he was "producing" his sample on Monday. He's never going to live that one down!

RunCC37 · February 2014

I have quite a few lucky charms that I hold dear to my heart.

As far as making meds fun, I got a box of silly bandaids for IVF #2. It became more important to find out the character of the day (I had a box of The Muppets) than doing the shots

I remember updating the girls on a FB group and I forgot to say who was on the bandaid that time. They didn't let it slide and reminded me!! Haha!

I also get my favorite chocolate or cookies to keep with my meds. I reward myself with a piece of chocolate per shot

Like Twinkie, I started a shots bracelet for IVF #1 and #2. I admit that I didn't do it for this round of IVF. Though it was a nice reminder of why I was doing it - I actually wore mine throughout the whole cycle.

I worked with a few fellow bumpies (@Say1009 & @sueann911) to design a t-shirt and we actually had it screen printed. Not to toot my own horn, but it turned out great and I'm currently wearing for good luck (we are getting our Day 5 report tomorrow... I am so nervous). We called ourselves Team FUIF (get it??) and the back design says Making FU(N) of IF. I attached some pictures

I'm not crazy, I swear, and please don't judge me for the tutu!! LOL!!!!!

keziah23 · February 2014

LOVE the shirt!!!

Deardra77 · February 2014

I won't say enjoying the process as such but so incredibly grateful I live in a day and age where IVF makes pregnancy a reality. If I was born not to much earlier there would be no hope for us as we need ISCI. I have lots of pairs of knee high toe socks for appointment days. They cheer me up & mean I don't have to worry about shaving my legs! lol

RunCC37 · February 2014

@Deardra77, I think of that often. My grandparents struggled with IF in the 1950's... There were no treatments to be done back then! They tried on their own for NINE YEARS and finally got lucky with their miracles (boy/girl twins!). Thank goodness they didn't give up either, otherwise I wouldn't be here! But, man, I can't imagine nine years of TTC without the intervention of a doctor.

Lady2010 · February 2014

So as of this cycle we have a good luck charm. I was visiting my parents in January (the weekend after our WTF appt) and I saw this doll on the shelf in their living room. I looked closer and saw that it was a fertility doll!! (They had gotten it the prior year when they were in South Africa).

They know we are doing IVF but none of the details. And we only told them in Nov. They had been there in February or March.

So I took a picture and sent it to my husband saying we needed one of these. He said I should bring it back with me. So I did - but didn't tell my parents!! We are borrowing it...and it was in a room they never go in.

It has come with us to all our appointments (in my purse) and we have rubbed its belly on the day of our ER and ET. And when we came home from ET and I was in a bit of pain DH held it in one hand and did a silly little dance asking the embryo(s) to stick.

We are really hoping it works!!!

badrianne · February 2014

2Enjoying the process is probably easier with time. I did find some videos on youtube of parents documenting their IF journey for their unborn child. For example they took pictures of the box of medical supplies and her bruised stomach and spoke to their would be child before going into the egg retrieval/transfer etc. It was very heartwarming.

Twinkie0612 I love the bead per injection idea!

gsancho · February 2014

Lady2010 said:

So as of this cycle we have a good luck charm. I was visiting my parents in January (the weekend after our WTF appt) and I saw this doll on the shelf in their living room. I looked closer and saw that it was a fertility doll!! (They had gotten it the prior year when they were in South Africa). They know we are doing IVF but none of the details. And we only told them in Nov. They had been there in February or March. So I took a picture and sent it to my husband saying we needed one of these. He said I should bring it back with me. So I did - but didn't tell my parents!! We are borrowing it...and it was in a room they never go in. It has come with us to all our appointments (in my purse) and we have rubbed its belly on the day of our ER and ET. And when we came home from ET and I was in a bit of pain DH held it in one hand and did a silly little dance asking the embryo(s) to stick. We are really hoping it works!!!

I thought of getting one when we were on vacation a few weeks ago! But all the fertility dolls I found had giant penises. Now that I'm brainstorming for ideas to keep our spirits up, rubbing on a penis statue would have been pretty funny...what does the doll look like? I'll have to look that one up, too.

gldnbearz · February 2014

keziah23 said:

Last night DH was doing my PIO shot and when he pulled back to make sure there was no blood he said "ohhhh there is a bubble!" and I started giggling (bad when you have a inch and a half long needle in your butt) then he just kept on saying "this is how you get a bubble butt". by the time he was done I was cracking up.

I have been reading board posts while DH gives me the PIO shot. I had to share this tidbit with him AFTER he removed the needle. Thanks for sharing @keziah23.

CallaLily30 · February 2014

During my treatment cycles, I've been wearing (attached to my bra strap) a St. Gerard medal and a St. Jude medal. St. Gerard is the patron saint of mothers and St. Jude is the patron saint of desperate cases. I'm hoping they will watch over my through the process and bring me a miracle baby.

HopefulSoul2 · February 2014

Twinkie0612 said:

I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

What an awesome idea! FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.

Lady2010 · February 2014

@gsancho : it is a fertility doll from the Ndebele tribe. I am attaching a pic here. And I agree - rub whatever works! DH rubs by belly every night (well at least when he isn't traveling) during this 2WW telling the embryo(s) to stick!

ronniesgirl1981 · February 2014

I also think that "enjoying it" is only something that you can realize if the cycle was successful and then your perspective changes.

Twinkie0612 · February 2014

HopefulSoul2 said:

Twinkie0612 said:

I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

What an awesome idea! FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.

I got the idea from a blog (Our Misconception). I put a small divider bead between each day's injection(s) and put two dividers between each cycle. Looking at my "necklace" I can tell you what med each bead stood for. It's nice to have a visual reminder of how far we've come, it gets a little depressing seeing how long it's gotten.

Sunny B · February 2014

It sounds like your boss is awesome.

I loved reading everyones little lucky charms and rituals.

I wore a Rose Quartz necklace and bracelet and had a circle of fertility crystals with a picture of an illustrated family and baby in the middle.

Looking back, I did kinda enjoy the process. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but I liked seeing my favorite nurse and my doctor so often. I liked that DH was so attentive and did little things to make me laugh during the shots. I love how much stronger and closer we became.

HopefulSoul2 · February 2014

Twinkie0612 said:

HopefulSoul2 said:

Twinkie0612 said:

I made a "beads for shots" necklace (it has a bead for every injection that I took during our treatment cycles) and plan on hanging it in our future child's room to remind me of exactly what we went through to have a child.

What an awesome idea! FX your "necklace" doesn't get much longer.

I got the idea from a blog (Our Misconception). I put a small divider bead between each day's injection(s) and put two dividers between each cycle. Looking at my "necklace" I can tell you what med each bead stood for. It's nice to have a visual reminder of how far we've come, it gets a little depressing seeing how long it's gotten.

I love this! I think I'll head over to Michaels this weekend and recreate my stim cycle with beads. What a neat keepsake. Thanks for sharing.

pblge · February 2014

When I first read this I thought, "UGH! Only someone who's SAIF would talk about enjoying the process." (Maybe I'm just feeling particularly battered right now with my disaster of a cycle and poor bruised veins and stomach.) But I've been really touched and inspired by the tokens and stories here. So thank you!!!

gsancho · February 2014

pblge said:

When I first read this I thought, "UGH! Only someone who's SAIF would talk about enjoying the process." (Maybe I'm just feeling particularly battered right now with my disaster of a cycle and poor bruised veins and stomach.) But I've been really touched and inspired by the tokens and stories here. So thank you!!!

Yeah, I still think on the bad days the most positive thing I can muster when thinking of all this is an eye roll...but I do have some great ideas on ways to stay positive on those days when I have hope. Thanks for sharing everyone!

Enjoying the Process?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Re: Enjoying the Process?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Enjoying the Process?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Re: Enjoying the Process?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!