About a week ago I went for my first appointment since finding out we were going to be having a baby. In the past to have ANY doctor appointments I had to take anti-anxiety meds just to make it through, this includes getting blood taken. For obvious reasons I'm not doing that anymore. So the nurse at this appointment started out not very nice, but I brushed it off because we all have our bad days. But then she says she wants to send me for a blood test to confirm my levels and not just trust the urine test saying YES/NO for being pregnant. This was after I specifically called and asked the office what kind of test it would be and was told only a urine test.
So when the nurse said this I tured to my husband and said something along the lines of Oh no. And he gave me a concerned look because he knows the problems I have. I guess the nurse caught this and asked about it. I said that I have really high anxiety and surprise things like this make it worse and that I normally have to take meds and that I almost always pass out. She responded with You need to get over it, because it's not about you anymore. I was so shocked I couldn't even say anything.
Just me being emotional? Or was that seriously rude?
Re: Anxiety and Rude Nurse
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The very nature of OB care makes it unpredictable. A simple question about lightheadedness could mean they want to do your glucose test early or that day, or having trouble finding a heartbeat could mean a surprise ultrasound. I've had "unplanned" blood work more than once a month. Part of that is due to complications, but there's no guarantee you won't have "surprise" blood work. Even if you call ahead, they may not know you need the test till they talk to you.
Also, once you hit the third tri planning is all out the window. You don't know when you'll go into labor. You don't know how long it'll last or if it will be possible to follow your birth plan. Because things can change rapidly, you may not have time to discuss some options or steps ahead of time.
I say this with all sympathy and understanding that you cannot control your anxiety... But I also want you to know that trying to plan ahead to cope isn't feasible long term. Can you see a therapist for new coping strategies?
Totally agree with ^^^^^
I was the same way with internal exams, I used to have to take 2 Lorazapams before my annuals because I would get so worked up. I came into my first appointment, just like you, with this expectation of what would happen. Then the nurse told me to undress and I would be getting an internal pap to start things off. I remember shaking and being really nervous... but there is nothing you can do to avoid the internal. Needless to say I had to get over that preference right away, pregnancy provided at least 12 internal exams. To this day, with my second, I still don't like them but it's just part of the package.
I would learn some other anxiety coping routines, like self talk. It sounds like you talked yourself into the anxiety attack way before the needle presented itself.
This should really be managed and controlled by the time you hit 34-36 weeks because you're going to be a ball of nerves if you keep thinking that at any moment you could go into Labor and have to have a needle in your arm during the entire delivery and sometimes for the next 48 hours or longer. Doesn't that make your heart race a little just thinking about it? I would suggest going and seeing someone to learn on-the-fly techniques to manage your anxiety.
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I'm sorry for your troubles, but it really isn't about you anymore. Can you consult a therapist about different methods? Surprise & pregnancy go hand in hand. The quicker you just do your best to reconcile yourself to this fact the better off you will be.
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Also, was a blood test really necessary? I have been trolling here long enough to know how accurate urine tests are. If they are really going to push you to give blood, it should be for a valid reason. I don't think this is one. What's wrong with a urine test?
Let's take it a step further. Let's say that you decide not to do down syndrome screening. Is the nurse going to pressure you into doing it? Some things you're going to have to endure-- like blood tests. But I worry about this nurse and whether or not she'll push you on something that you absolutely can object to or question.
Please please share this experience with your doctor. At the very least, your doc should be involved with the discussion so he/she can help you get over the anxiety. And yes, that nurse was mean. (Next time tell your husband that his job is to protect you so he can stand up for you when you're at your most vulnerable.)
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I've had more blood drawn in the past 7 months than I've had drawn probably in my whole life up to now. One of my first memories is hiding in a closet from my dad because he was taking my brother and I to get boosters. It is a hard phobia (and mine is a phobia) to have because no one likes it, so it's hard to impress upon people just how bad it can be.
The first time I had to have betas drawn I knew it was coming and was still a hyperventilating almost sobbing total mess. But I was honest with the tech about where I was coming from and she was really respectful and gentle with me. Just because you will have to be over it is not an excuse for someone to not be those things as much as they can be. Now I'm really fine with blood draws because I know the drill, but any other kind of medical needle still freaks me out (not logical, I know, but it's a phobia).
Also, talk to your doctors and nurses about it. I had to have an injection today, and I was really upfront with my doctor about my fear. She lobbied the pharmacy and got the whole dose in one larger inject rather than making me deal with two needles and it will work just the same. She could have told me to 'get over it' and I would have because I needed it, but she was respectful of me and of my fears, even if they are silly. The one thing that helps is to discuss the fear in the open, and I try to do it at a time when I'm pretty calm, so I'm able to better make my point without seeming hysterical.
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SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
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Primrosemama: You're right, the nurse didn't force her. But there are a lot of people who have trouble speaking up for what they want/need when facing a medical professional. If you read this board, there are a lot of examples of people who come here to post because they are hesitant to ask their practitioners questions. I was referencing the fact that it is important for all patients to find a voice so they can ask questions, express themselves, and understand what their doctors are recommending for them.
With regards to the second part regarding additional testing, my point was to reinforce that the original poster needs to find a way to express herself calmly without a valium because she will have to make more and more choices about what she wants for herself and for her baby. If she's overwhelmed by a blood test, what happens when she faces a bigger choice? It was less of a knock on the nurse than it was a comment (agreeing with others) that the poster needed to toughen up.
greeneyed_bride: You're right, although the original post is a bit confusing. She states that the purpose of the test was to confirm pregnancy. I think you're right in that the blood draw was probably for a lot more than a binary "yes you are, no you're not". My concern is that if she told them on the phone that she had a particular concern about something, the nurse and doctor should have been aware and should have spoken to her about it. If someone has anxiety about blood draws, is told there won't be one, and then has to get one, it increases their stress levels unnecessarily.
And lastly, my favorite:
Etoile: Just because I have only been posting for a few weeks doesn't mean that I have only been on the Bump a few weeks. I took the advice of a lot of "pros" like you and lurked for a long time before posting. I never said I was an expert, I just offered a different opinion. If you re-read my comments, I agreed with everyone else that the poster needed to find a better coping mechanism. I chose to say it in a more constructive way (since not everyone responds well to "You should have figured this out before getting pregnant" approach.) In case you didn't know this, posting a lot on the internet to strangers doesn't make you an expert on anything either.
I told her that my opinion was that the nurse was rude and that there was a breakdown in communication between the person who took her message and the person who took care of her appointment. I also told her to toughen up. Nothing I said was contrary to what you said, yet you go after me like I told her to go give birth in a field somewhere. It's a different approach to the same issue-- no reason for you to get so worked up.
It sucks that she's dealing with anxiety about the unknown and medical procedures because that's kind of what pregnancy IS. The nurse was truly a bitch and didn't seem to get it.
But OP needs to do something. This can't be fixed by explaining more to her ob and calling before appointments to find out what will happen. She'd end up having a rough time if she tried to do that. :-(
The nurse still can't order the blood test. The doctor has to. I am sorry she was rude and there was confusion!
I'd talk to your actual OB about your anxiety issues and I'd see if I could find another therapist who takes your insurance.
Appointments can be unpredictable. Because docs can be on call you may not see who you planned or you may have to wait. A small symptom can change the plan for the day and mean more testing or being sent home on bed rest or being sent to L&D for monitoring. Most appts are peeing in a cup, asking questions, having your fundal height measured, and using the Doppler if you're far enough along, but other things crop up too.
I really am sorry. Anxiety sucks. I hope you can find a way to not struggle through every appointment.
There's still some pretty major freakout, but that, and working with a doctor, has helped me a lot.
Me-31, H-27
**Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
**Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!