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Intro-ish

bullybuttbullybutt member
in Single Parents

I've posted on this board once or twice before, I think.  Anyways... I recently left my son's father after a 5 year relationship that consisted of verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse.  We have an 18 month old and #2 is due in July.  I am way too old to be in this situation and definitely made choices that weren't so smart (sticking around when I should have left long ago). I go today to sign the papers to be filed for custody/visitation/support. 

Are there any moms that still have an amicable relationship with their ex after going through all this?  Do you allow your ex to come over to your home to visit your children or is it strictly drop off/pickup?

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Re: Intro-ish

  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    Welcome to the board and I am so very sorry for what you're going through :( I'm with you on being too old -- I'll be 34 in a couple months and just starting over from scratch with an almost 6 year old. XH left in Sept. of last year.

    He and I have a fairly amicable relationship now. We didn't at first because he was the one who left and I was furious with him. Some days, I still am. But, at the end of the day, he's still my daughter's dad and she loves him. He's a good dad.

    If there had been abuse involved though, it would be a different story. I can't imagine that a judge would grant unsupervised visits with children if there's documented abuse...but I'm no lawyer either. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I also wouldn't be comfortable with him in my home either. 

    Good luck to you, and stick around! There's a great group of girls here.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Welcome to the board. I dont have much to add since bd and i are not amicable at all.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    @Beccaga16 this is why i adore you. You are always so level headed. I wish i could be amicable with bd. And maybe we can get to there if he ever mans up and decides to be a dad. Until then i dont feel i have anything to say to him.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    edited February 2014
    I have taken what i feel i a healthy step forward for me, i blocked bd on social medias and hes only able to text or email me now.

    I do feel like i have to ignore over half of all texts or emails though. I dont respond unless its about ds, but unfortunatly bd has this idea that because we have a son together he can be inappropriate towards me.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    beccaga16 said:

    @minnesotamomma91 - Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Sorry he is such a douche, but you are right to ignore him. 

    Thank you, i really feel i am the one who has to teach ds how to teach women by how i let men treat me.
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  • bullybuttbullybutt member
    Thanks for the input ladies.  I just signed the papers to have him served so I'm sure this will be the calm before the storm.  I know that I'm doing the right thing, but I still dread it...and hate it.

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