Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Jazibel
member
Re: Parenting Check-In
Happy Monday!
Gabe is 11 months old today. I can't even stand it. I have to get invites out for his birthday party (just family and REALLY close friends that have been a big part of his life so far).
Sleeping seems to be falling into a new, and better pattern. Still not STTN, but waking once early on around 9:30 (bedtime is roughly 7:30) and then sleeping through until at least 4, up to nurse, and back down until 6. MUCH more doable than the 3-4 times a night wakings we had going on for a while. The only downside is that I can't sneak 2 beers in before bed, as he's up so quickly to nurse after going down. I guess I'll live.
This weekend was a total mess with the leaks we have in the house due to ice dams. I came home from swimming lessons, Gabe asleep in his carrier, dog whining in the crate, and basically tripped over the 5 ceiling tiles that had fallen down in the front hall from a new leak. Ugh. Balancing baby and dog is hard enough. Balancing baby, dog, and repair-people is nearly impossible.
Bloopers, hmmmm, well I can't even count how many times I have caught Gabe by an ankle as he's launched himself over the edge of something. First it was his pack n play changing table (multiple times), then the ottoman that we now use as a changing table. Just this weekend, it was the tub. Honestly, I'm glad that I have quick hands and good reactions, but one of these times I'm going to miss. I wonder if that will stop him? I'm doubting it.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
QOTD: I've had nearly 8y to goof up and I've done my share. I knocked heads into doorjams, grabbed arms and feet in an attempt to catch them (and sometimes missed), dropped a few 'S bombs' (and been called out!), hurt feelings (unintentionally), yelled (and regretted it), picked food up off the ground/dusted it off/fed it to them....you name it, I've done it. :P
I'm really tired b/c LO was up 4 times last night. One-two times is normal. I was only able to get 1-1.5 hours of sleep at a time. So, poor sleep combined with a scratchy throat and I'm hurting today.
Our transition to working/daycare is still a work in progress. I was really please with how much I pumped at work last week. I was pumping 7-7.5oz during two sessions over about 6 hours - won't do full days until next week.
I decided to buy the Hygeia pump, but was still using the hospital grade pump last week. I used the a Hygeia a couple times over the weekend and a couple times today. It is a ton better than the pump I received through insurance, but I'm getting about an ounce less per session than with the hospital grade. It's really not convenient to transport the hospital grade pump because it is bulky and heavy, but I'm concerned about pumping less.
One of the daycare teachers is kinda pressuring me to send more milk - even though I've told her that I'm sending everything I pump. She even made a comment about his small size. So, I was crying when I left the daycare this morning. The exhaustion certainly contributed to my sensitivity, but I'm also legitimately anxious again.
My LC and everything I've read online suggests 1oz per hour of separation, and I've been sending enough to meet that rule of thumb. When I put bottles on the fridge, I see 6-7oz bottles, which seems like a to to me, but also why the teacher thinks we need to give more? I don't know... I plan in contacting the LC again to troubleshoot and to weigh him to make sure he's still gaining weight at the same rate.
ETA: I thought I should add something positive. Enjoying his developing skills of batting at toys and grasping! And his facial expressions amuse me on a daily basis!
QOTW: my biggest parenting fail so far - After nursing LO at Whole Foods, I put him back into his car seat that attaches to his stroller and covered him with a blanket. When we get home, I realized I never strapped him in. I didn't notice when I out him in the car because he had a blanket on him. I was horrified. Funniest blooper - we typically bathe Ash in a bath with one or both of us. Last week all three of us were in the tub. I was telling Z how relieved I was that he didn't poop on the plane, and right on cue - he pooped in the water! We laughed do hard.
This picture is from yesterday. The temps were in the 80s. Ash's first day at the park! I love his expression in this pic!
We've had a pretty good week, Kaden's eczema is back so he's itchy and more irritable and needy. I feel so bad for him, we're trying to monitor what he eats, and apply coconut oil and give him homeopathic's. There's not much we can do according to our pediatrician. I'm considering having him allergy tested and for right now we're avoiding nuts and eggs.
Other then that we had a great weekend. I took Kaden to the pool at our gym on Saturday and he had a blast. EV arrived later and we dropped Kaden off at playcare, worked out and met up afterward to share a smoothie. It was nice to grab 20 minutes of alone time "while out" together.
QOTD: Wow - we've had so many. :P When Kaden was 3-5 months or so he rolled off our bed onto the carpet (which was plush thank goodness). I freaked out but he was fine. More recently we were heading out to an activity in LA and all of a sudden Kaden was crawling into the front seat between EV and I. (Very proud of himself of course). I had forgotten to buckle him in. Everyday we have minor bloopers, today I gave him a small container of milk to drink w/o the lid. He ran to show his Aya (EV) and milk went flying everywhere. But that kind of thing happens so much it's worn down my Ooops reaction ;-) I guess it's telling that one of Kaden's favorite words is "Uhoh". I'm super tired so I'll save the "poop" bloopers for another time. LOL
Have a great night everyone!
We went to see a move (Mars needs Moms) when they were 4y?5y? Anyway, it was too scary for them at the time and they wanted to leave mid way through the movie. No problem. We were sitting on the top row (stadium seating) and it was dark and we needed to gather coats/trash/etc. I sent C down the stairs while I grabbed stuff. I got to the bottom and he wasn't there. I figured he was in the corridor beside the seats. Nope. Ok, maybe he walked into the hall? Nope. L and G walked out behind me and we started to freak. I ran into the lobby and into the mall while L ran into the bathrooms. We were panicked. He isn't a kid who generally walks away and he hates when he thinks you left him. L ran into the theater and there he was sitting in the front row next to some other family. LOL. He'd walked down the stairs and while I was gathering our stuff, stopped to watch the movie. It took us a LONG time to calm down after that.
@atxmommas and @stringy813, I don't have any answers but was going to ask the same question; does the day care provider want more milk because Ash is unhappy/hungry? Or just because they think he should be eating more?
I'm no help because Gabe has been combo fed since just shy of 3 months. Though I didn't really recognize it, looking back it was totally obvious that Gabe needed more than I was giving him. He was constantly cranky and our nursing sessions were VERY long and invariably I ended up removing him from the breast because he had fallen asleep and I also needed a 5 minute break. I was always a little nervous to go anywhere, because I never knew when I was going to need to nurse him again (not that I had a problem nursing in public, but I didn't want to get stuck somewhere in a marathon nursing session). ATXMommas I know you've dealt with some of this, but it seems like Ash has stabilized now hasn't he? If you're comfortable with what he's eating and he doesn't seem unhappy, then I'd just encourage you to be confident that you know your child and maybe treat this like a learning opportunity for the day care provider?
As for the sleep stuff, well ... as I mentioned above Gabe seems to have finally settled into a more manageable pattern, except on the nights when he doesn't. How's that for progress? Last night we were up 4-5 times. I will say that it does get easier, you learn that you actually CAN function on very little sleep, and just when you're ready to give up something miraculous happens and you have a great night.
Stringy813 let me know what happens if you DO try the cold bottle trick. I'm curious. Everything for us is so clouded by the ear infection piece and that I really hesitate to do anything "Training" related. (And yes, even with the tubes, I can now see he is draining another active infection)
Oh and BTW, I have failed to buckle Gabe in more than once or twice. It's a sickening feeling when you get home and see that.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
Baby Oliver born 11/27/13
TTC stats with donor sperm...
IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
Thank you for the feedback @stringy813 & @JGY. I was prepared (sorta) that the day care provider (DCP) might be clueless since I've ready many anecdotal experiences from other parents who have had trouble with the DCP wanting to overfeed their baby. But, it is still surprising and frustrating.
Prior to day care, Ash seemed completely content with the milk he received just by nursing (and the occassional bottle every 2-3 days). The only time he really gets fussy is in the early evening, but seems completely content when/after he nurses. I have never given him a bottle containing more than 3.5oz, though I typically give him a 3oz bottle. He has always seemed content with that amount, which mimics the amount of milk he takes in during nursing according to the weighed feedings we have done (though I know weighed feedings are just a sample and not indicative of how much he takes in at each feeding; some could be more, some less). So, I don't have concerns that I'm not providing him enough. I'm afraid that if I give him formula, it will wreak havoc on my supply, which already seems to be "just enough." Given that he seems content, has plenty of wets/dirties, and is gaining weight at a consistent weight (about 5oz per week, which is the low end of normal, but still normal), that my supply is fine. Sure, it's definitely not the highest supply, but it's enough to meet my baby's needs.
As for why the DCP is telling me I need to send more - honestly, I think the main reason they think this is because they see other babies taking more (and, stringy, good point - I don' tknow if the bottles I'm seeing are formula or breast milk).
Today is only his 5th day in care. Yesterday, I nursed him when I dropped him off at around 8:10am. He took a 3oz bottle at 10:40am and another 3oz bottle around 1:30pm. THey didn't give him the "snack" bottle that contained 1oz. I picked him up at 2:30 and took him home. He slept for a while at home and ended up nursing around 4:30, I think. One day last week, they did tell me that he was acting like he wanted more. But, seriously, he was on Day 2, which is a HUGE change for this tiny baby who has only been in this world for a short 3 months. My initial thought is that we need to give him time to adjust to his new routine/surroundings before jumping to the assumption that he needs more to eat. I'm willing to make changes if I need to, but I would like for us to get into our routine before doing some irrevocable damage to my supply. JGY, I think you are right that this is my opportunity to have a learning moment with the DCP. I think Kellymom has some resources I can print out and take to DC if I need to.
I think what threw me over the edge yesterday was her comment about his size. I've spoken on here before that I've had to adjust my fantasy of a fat baby to the reality of my perfectly perfect and healthy small baby. This kiddo is so happy and is meeting/surpassing all his milestones. I'm perfectly happy with who this kid is and I know he's healthy, so I'm not concerned that he is smaller. But, I guess I'm sensitive to the fact that someone else would look at him and somehow try to convince me that I'm not feeding enough.
As far as sleep, Sunday night was an aberration. Last night he woke 2x, which is much more typical and completely doable. I feel much more rested today! I wish I had sleep advice to give to others who are struggling. @mwagner25 - my Sunday night sounds like what you are dealing with almost every night. I feel for you! I hope you find a good solution soon!
Thanks for listening to me and taking time to assuage some of my concerns! I really appreciate it!
And, just wanted to state again how grateful I am for this community!
Baby Oliver born 11/27/13
TTC stats with donor sperm...
IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
I've wanted to chime in on this one for days (without a spare moment), but only to say that my vision of my baby was one of a long lean babe. No rolls or folds. And what I got? Finger dimples and rubber band wrists! And yes, we Mamas of the chunkier kiddos worry too. Are we feeding them too much? Are we setting them up for a life of battles with weight? Who knows? All I know is that I am damn certain that everyone on this board is doing their absolute BEST for their child. And I think we all deserve a break, especially from ourselves!!
Happy weekend everyone!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!