Are you the type of mom you wanted to be?

SallyAnneS · February 2014

I don't know how to word it exactly. But are you the mother you pictured yourself being to your child(ren)?
If not how are you different? How do you deal with that?

jensriot · February 2014

I'm not and it is a great source of guilt and anxiety for me. I don't spend the time with them that I thought I would. I'm with them all the time, but it doesn't feel like quality time all that often. We're grocery shopping, going to activities, folding laundry, etc. I know that these are good things to do with my kids. I guess I pictured things differently.

I also yell more often than I'd like to admit. I'm working on that everyday. I let my temper get me and get angry and yell. I've been doing better recently, but I'm far from perfect on this one. It hit me hard when DD1 yelled at DD2 just like I yelled at her one day. I have to overcome this. I have cried many many times because I don't think I'm the best mom I could be. They love me anyway, but I beat myself up over it pretty often.

joyfullyfound · February 2014

Yeah... I think I am, actually. I mean, I don't know how others see me, but I really don't think I'm doing too bad of a job at this point

I guess I didn't think I'd ever lose my cool and I'd always be able to keep a cool, level head, and that just really isn't the case or even remotely realistic obviously, but I'm not beating myself up about it. And I definitely was a pretty high stress new mom when DD was between 0-6 months, which I totally didn't expect since I'm generally always fairly laid back. But we're passed that and I feel I've hit my stride as a mommy of one... we'll see how badly #2 messes it all up, haha

Rink08 · February 2014

Not exactly. I never envisioned having two (or one) children with SN either though. Certain things that I've always planned on doing with the kids have gone out the window, at least for now. I have a lot more "mommy guilt" and second guessing of myself and our parenting than I ever thought that I would.

cmrand4 · February 2014

mostly but I have my days. Motherhood has definitely pushed me to my limits of patience on some days and I've gone through periods of yelling. Im working on it. It's is, without a doubt much more challenging than I thought it would be. My own mother made it look so easy raising 5 kids. She even says herself it was a breeze until we were teenagers, which terrifies me.
I try to have fun with my kids on most days but in many ways I've lowered my standards of having a clean house and just now am getting into a routine of making time for myself.

Spin313 · February 2014

I feel like I really was to DS but, now with two, I don't feel like I am as "good" a mom to DD. I don't have the same level of energy, patience, or creativity.

roxy_jj · February 2014

Mostly. Before kids I was always such a patient person. My kids really test my patience and I'm not nearly as patient a mother as I thought I would be.

chardonnay24 · February 2014

My life isn't what I pictured, but most of that is because of parenting a challenging, SN kid. I thought I would be the type of mom to constantly play, do fun crafts, and just enjoy being around my kid all the time, but there are a lot of days, especially in the last couple months, that I just lay on the couch and hope that I remember to feed him. I yell too much, but that doesn't surprise me. I've actually become much more patient than I ever thought I would be since becoming a mom.

raraavis28 · February 2014

I guess.....actually, it's hard to remember how I expected to be pre-kids. Probably the most surprising thing is how hard it can be to get everything done in a day.....like every night that dinner ends up on the table on time I consider it a small miracle. As far as my interactions w/ my kiddos.....I obviously have my moments when I'm not as patient as I wish I could be, and I always feel like I'm "behind" in teaching them something or other (maybe I'm just insecure that way...), but I really do my best, so I guess I've gotta be satisfied w/ that.

bhuffman · February 2014

I don't think I am the mom I always envisioned. I am not as patient or as fun as I dreamed I would be, but I don't think I'm a bad mom.
I also expected to be working full time, so staying home for the past few years was not something I imagined either.
I think I do a good job. My kids know I love them and I hope I'm helping them grow into healthy, happy, responsible individuals.

LinnyAnne10 · February 2014

I'm about where I think I'm at for being a mom.. Yea I yell, throw threats around, don't do as much as I'd like, but Where I'm at, I'm happy, everything can use an improvement

catycate · February 2014

A couple of pps nailed it- I felt pretty good about my parenting, until I had two. Right now, life is very high stress and I don't feel like either of my kids get the attention or affection they deserve. I'm drowning with two. DD is 4 months and I spend most nights praying it will get better.

Court0026 · February 2014

I am not as present as I imagined I would be. I have a hard time taking in the little moments and appreciating them for what they are. I am kind of done with staying home and I think it is starting to show.

ToastieSimons · February 2014

Not at all. I pictured my self homeschooling, spending time teaching the kids how to farm, taking them on daytrips, beaches, traveling, boating, etc.

Instead of become the type of parent I HAVE to be. For my kids. The type of parent I WANT to be would not help them.

Instead I'm the mom who sent her kid to preschool at 3 to continue receiving therapy services. I get up and drive him both ways. I organize therapy schedules for my younger son, I drive them both to private therapy and force them to work through tears at times. I sedate my kids for testing, I poke them to test their kidney function.

And I hate it all, but it's what they need.

laurakaz13 · February 2014

I thought I'd have my child eating only organic food and reading books and doing amazingly interesting activities every day. That is clearly not always the case, although I try to keep up healthy and we definitely get exercise every day and spend lots of time outside exploring.

I'm pretty laid back as a parent actually and I am proud of that. However, DD watches TV and I definitely bribe her to do things or behave!! Oh well. It is what it is. I'm trying my best.

cmrand4 · February 2014

Blah, I was trying to quote and it failed. Edited for fail:(

mrsrobinsontobe · February 2014

I am happy with my job as they're mom! I feel very fortunate to have 2 relatively easy children, who are happy, kind, good kids! I am fortunate to have a husband who is a total partner in this whole journey we're on. I also feel very lucky that I have a job that allows me to be with my kids a ton, while still allowing me to earn a nice living doing what I love to do! I also have friends who are moms who make the whole mom thing that much more fun! So, I think all this has helped me be an easygoing, happy mommy -- and that's the type of parent I always wanted to be!!

pitterpatter129 · February 2014

Sometimes! I yell too often and let DS1 watch too much TV, but sometimes I'm a great mom. Overall, I feel it's going well, but I'm probably more like my mother than I ever imagined I would be.

sophie206 · February 2014

I think mostly. But I will echo what others have said about not being patient or fun all the time, like I'd imagined. DD1 constantly challenges me. Haha--I guess I envisioned my children to be different too? Of course, DD is 3, so it is her job to push limits and challenge me. Some days I feel completely "on" and great and others I go to sleep crying and wandering what in the world I am doing wrong. But most of the time I I go to sleep feeling satisfied with our day, and I think that is okay at this point.

MomIn2013 · February 2014

I am the type I wanted to be, but I always figured I'd have to work, so I pictured myself more frazzled and rushed. I'm very happy that I can be more laid-back and relaxed as a SAHM and not have to be rushing off to work every morning.

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2014

I am. I had low expectations though--I wasn't looking to be that Pinterest parent doing daily lesson plans. I vowed to not be a yeller, take them lots of fun places and give them plenty of outdoor play and I've accomplished that.

hayleydeee · February 2014

Nope. For example, there is a lot more TV watching (the kids) and time spent housecleaning (me) than I'd imagined. It makes me feel awful.

bumpuser8448316 · February 2014

For the most part I think I am. I definitely have off days or times when I yell or lose my patience, but I'm only human.

MagFranklin13 · February 2014

laurakaz13 said:
I thought I'd have my child eating only organic food and reading books and doing amazingly interesting activities every day. That is clearly not always the case, although I try to keep up healthy and we definitely get exercise every day and spend lots of time outside exploring.

I'm pretty laid back as a parent actually and I am proud of that. However, DD watches TV and I definitely bribe her to do things or behave!! Oh well. It is what it is. I'm trying my best.

This! I wanted to be a attachment parent and make my own soap and feed them homemade organic treats, but let's face it some days I'm just proud I kept them alive (kidding) but doing the best I can and praying they aren't too screwed up!

LoriLee14 · February 2014

I think so. I worked for a lot or families and in preschool and nursery type settings. I knew a lot about typical days with a newborn/toddler so I thought I had a good idea of who I would be and my expectations.

The only thing is said that I have ate my words about is buying them presents. I said I wouldn't buy my child a birthday present or Christmas until they were 3. I was wrong wrong, It is hard to not buy that guy something

magentawarped · February 2014

Not really. I yell and lose my cool a lot. We all spend a lot more time in front of the TV than I wanted. We eat a lot of crap. However, DD is a happy, mostly well behaved and very smart kid, so I must be doing something right. I may not be the mom I thought I'd be, but I'm not too sad about it.

Lilly&Co · February 2014

I am better at the mom thing than I thought. I actually didn't want kids until I met my husband. He is so great with his kids and has 2 brothers that are 16 years younger than him. so they were little when we met and got married. He was amazing with them so I knew I felt comfortable having kids with him and he encouraged me to do my thing. My saving grace is that I am really structured and have a great imagination so we have fun here.

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