Pregnant at 39 with big age gap and feeling alone

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Hi there- I'm new here. I am just over 6 wks. I have a 12 year old daughter and 9 yo son. Although not many of my friends know I'm pregnant yet, I'm feeling like this'll be a lonely pregnancy since most of my friends are past tha stage. I'm also sick from an infection in my tooth...had a root canal almost two weeks ago that resulted in infection. Started antibiotics Friday but infection is feeling worse. Yesterday I panicked because I started a fever and couldn't get a hold of anyone on any of the emergency lines and when I did, they weren't terribly helpful or sympathetic to the fact that I'm trying to grow a life! I'm sorry to have my first post here be such a downer...just feeling very alone.

DTNZ4Ever · February 2014

Well first off congrats and welcome. Sorry you aren't feeling well and feeling alone. There are plenty of women around here that are very supportive.

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Thank you...I am feeling better this afternoon. I think I'm just a giant ball of hormones!

jbelle · February 2014

Sorry you're having such a rough start to your pregnancy! I hope you get relief for the tooth ache ASAP.

FWIW, I'm a first time mom-to-be at 37 and my friends have children and pre-teens, not babies. Perhaps because they are past this stage, everyone has been SO excited for us!

I hope you are pleasantly surprised by everyone's excitement.

dragonfly711 · February 2014

Congrats. I just turned 40 and FTM. My hubby's nieces and nephews have kids older and one on the way. Lol

Don't feel bad. Seems like women are waiting now a days so all is good. Enjoy!!!!

Klavanga74 · February 2014

I am definitely excited and my husband (44) is over the moon. I know our friends and family will be excited, too, with the exception of our kids. They will not be happy...for awhile, anyway. They'll get over it!

nikkiuk · February 2014

Girl, us older ladies having a baby is ALL the rage now! Apparently. Seriously though, I can relate. I have no friends nearby in the USA, the few I do have live a long way from me. I moved here from the UK two years ago and work from home so I don't get a chance to get out and make new friends. So not only is all this pregnancy stuff being carried out in a foreign country, everything has totally changed since I had my youngest 16 years ago! I'm a bit lost. Oh and I had a tooth/gum infection 10 days ago was on antibiotics too.

So I'm sending you huge hugs along with big congratulations. The antibiotics will kick in soon but man, toothache can sure make life miserable, especially when you can't take some good stuff to help the pain.

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Haven't figured out how to quote people yet...nikkiuk...thanks for the encouragement! Working from home can be tough socially. I run two small businesses out of the house so I can relate a bit. Is this your first? If so, you'll make lots of friends when the baby comes along. You're not near DC, are you?

nikkiuk · February 2014

This baby is my third child but my first American baby (my husband's first). I have my 16 year old son here with us and a 20 year old daughter back home in the UK. She's at Uni and I miss her terribly. Working from home is very hard socially and while the money is good and there are big advantages, I'm working from 8am until 10pm every day. Not near DC... I'm way over in northern Michigan under 12ft of snow

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Northern MI...very cold! Well, it seems like this group is really good at keeping spirits up! When are you due? I have some contacts through one of my businesses in MI. No idea if they're near you, but they're ll working from home as well. Will you keep working once baby arrives?

nikkiuk · February 2014

Unfortunately I have to keep working right up to labor then as soon as I get back from hospital, assuming all goes well. Luckily I can jump between the computer and baby, the tablet and baby and so on for a few minutes every now and then during the day. My DH works from home too so he can take over as soon as he's finished and I can do the bulk of my actual workload in the evening. I'm pretty sure my son will help out whenever he can, he's great like that.

Love this group... not so keen on the other boards but this one is very cool. I'm due mid-July. When are you due?

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Sounds like it'll work out for you. I'm hoping I can keep a pretty normal schedule once the baby arrives, too. I'm due md-October but when I talked to the ob last fall about the possibility of becoming pregnant, she said they'd probably induce two weeks early bc of my age. I hope they will because my daughter was 9 lbs and my son was 10 and I'm pretty small!

nikkiuk · February 2014

Ouch, they were big babies... interesting that your age might make them consider induction. My son was only 5.2lbs and his birth caused me so much damage as they induced me and he was born within 30 minutes - my body was just not ready so I had 35+ internal stitches and loads of external. Even after 16 years the external scars still cause me issues so I need to be having a conversation with my OB about that at some point as it concerns me. The whole pregnancy/labor structure is so different here compared to the UK so I feel a bit lost. For example, they don't use gas and air here to help during labor so now I have no clue what to I'll do. Eeeek!

QOTR · February 2014

Welcome to the group!

jg1011 · February 2014

Welcome. I'm 40. Will be just shy of 41 when I deliver. This is my 2nd little one.

There is a 13 year gap between the you gets niece or nephew on both my side and DH's side. Ad, most of our friends already have children that are 5 and older. So, we are in similar situations.

I'm a nervous wreck about this one....going from one to two. Crazy!

OutdoorGirl10 · February 2014

Klavanga74 said:

Hi there- I'm new here. I am just over 6 wks. I have a 12 year old daughter and 9 yo son. Although not many of my friends know I'm pregnant yet, I'm feeling like this'll be a lonely pregnancy since most of my friends are past tha stage. I'm also sick from an infection in my tooth...had a root canal almost two weeks ago that resulted in infection. Started antibiotics Friday but infection is feeling worse. Yesterday I panicked because I started a fever and couldn't get a hold of anyone on any of the emergency lines and when I did, they weren't terribly helpful or sympathetic to the fact that I'm trying to grow a life! I'm sorry to have my first post here be such a downer...just feeling very alone.

Congrats and glad to hear you're having a better day. I'm in the same boat as well, almost all my close friends all had their kids at least 5 years ago so I have felt very left out over the years, and now feel like I have no one I can ask about anything. These boards have been really helpful for hearing what others are going through and when they're shopping for stuff and buying clothes and what their docs are saying. I've found I've been less shy about asking people questions that do have new babies, even if it's someone I've just recently met( Of course I don't ask any TMI questions.) Good luck and welcome!

*sparky* · February 2014

I am 42 and my DS is 8, so somewhat similar situation to you. I am due in just a few weeks and my DS is over the moon excited to be getting a little sibling - your kids' reactions may surprise you. He cannot wait to help take care of his little sister.

Like you, most of my friends are well out of the baby stage, but that is okay. I met a lot of friends when DS started school and activities and I figure I will do so again this time around.

Beachgal72 · February 2014

Just want to say welcome and congrats! This is my first child so I don't have a sibling age gap but I can relate to the friends part. For some reason DH gets it the worst with his friends telling him he is going to be an "old Dad". Nice, huh? He is 44, I am 41, and neither of us have any regrets over waiting for this time in our live and marriage to have a child. I do understand the feeling a bit lonely part, as most of my close friends do not have or want kids...but I hope I will just add new friends to my circle from parks, schools, other activities. I made several new friends at the dog park when I got my dog so why should this be much different?

Klavanga74 · February 2014

nikkiuk said:

Ouch, they were big babies... interesting that your age might make them consider induction. My son was only 5.2lbs and his birth caused me so much damage as they induced me and he was born within 30 minutes - my body was just not ready so I had 35+ internal stitches and loads of external. Even after 16 years the external scars still cause me issues so I need to be having a conversation with my OB about that at some point as it concerns me. The whole pregnancy/labor structure is so different here compared to the UK so I feel a bit lost. For example, they don't use gas and air here to help during labor so now I have no clue what to I'll do. Eeeek!

Ouch! The flip side of being induced! I'm sure they've told you about epidural s, etc? I had no drugs with my daughter by choice but I didn't want to do it again. The epidural I had with my son was awesome. Felt no pain, just pressure, could still move my legs, etc.

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Beachgal72 said:

Just want to say welcome and congrats! This is my first child so I don't have a sibling age gap but I can relate to the friends part. For some reason DH gets it the worst with his friends telling him he is going to be an "old Dad". Nice, huh? He is 44, I am 41, and neither of us have any regrets over waiting for this time in our live and marriage to have a child. I do understand the feeling a bit lonely part, as most of my close friends do not have or want kids...but I hope I will just add new friends to my circle from parks, schools, other activities. I made several new friends at the dog park when I got my dog so why should this be much different?

Klavanga74 · February 2014

Thanks for the warm welcome and kind words! My infection seems to be clearing- yay! And this board makes me feel so much less alone!

Want a personalized experience?

Pregnant at 39 with big age gap and feeling alone

Re: Pregnant at 39 with big age gap and feeling alone

Choose Another Board

Search Boards