Is your three year old OCD?

Crystal318 · November 2013

I know three years olds like to assert their independence and tend to throw fits, want to make descisions, etc. But I think my son is over the top and I dont know what to do about it. I try to let him make choices like "do you want milk or water" or "Do you want the green cup or the yellow cup", etc. in hopes that letting him make some desicions will let him feel somewhat in control to help avoid him wanting to control EVERYTHING!

For example, this morning we are leaving the house and I open the fridge to get my lunch bag and he absolutely has a meltdown because I didnt pick him up into my arms FIRST before getting my lunch out of the fridge. He is screaming "put it back, put it back and pick me up" I did not give in....therefore he screamed the whole way to day care. Is that normal? Its like I walk on eggshells. If we are playing a game and he asks me to sit down on the floor and I sit, he flips out if I sit even one inch away from where he asked me to sit. These are just examples of normal, everyday occurences and they are multiple times a day. He threw a fit because he wanted me to take a right turn out of the daycare and not a left turn (which is the way home). And he screamed the entire way home. Its constant.

Is this normal three year old behavior? And what can I do about it? I am a single mom and dealing with this on my own, all day everyday is taking its toll on me!

HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MouseInLux · November 2013

I have a 2.5 year old who sounds like this.

CopperT0p · November 2013

DS isn't this way. When he tries to pull something similar, but not to the same extreme, I tell him that crying (or whatever he is doing) is not going to change what is happening. I've moved towards asking him "is crying going to help?" and he says "no" and stops crying now. He's a pretty logical kid, so being consistent and clear with him has helped deal with these situations. We can go from meltdown crying to nothing in 5 seconds. His meltdowns have significantly reduced.

erbear · November 2013

Totally normal. My kid is almost 5 and still is in that phase. My 2.5 has just started. it's a good time.

It's not OCD. It's just toddler. To an extent, I can reason her out of it at this point.

AmandaAndTj · November 2013

Yes DD is totally like this! I was just wondering how normal this was myself. We usually have a good routine throughout the day and man, if one thing gets switched around or, god forbid, taken out of our routine completely, I hear about it.

ThatWasAHoot · November 2013

My son will be 3 in January and he has something similar, but no meltdowns. He will insist upon things, ie: if he asks me to sit on the floor and I sit in the wrong spot he will show me that no, I was supposed to sit here. And then he will ask me to do so. Can you try and get him to calm down? If my son has a meltdown like that, which he definitely sometimes does, I get to his level and tell him to look at my face. Then I tell him to take some deep breaths and calm down. I tell him that I can't help him until he stops crying because I can't understand him. He does calm down quickly. This approach has worked with him since he started communicating. GL!

Crystal318 · November 2013

Thank you! I am glad to see I am not alone and that this is probably normal behavior. I know he feels my stress and can telll when I am about to have a meltdown myself....He is always worse when I am stressed...which just snowballs.

Thanks again! Good Luck to you guys too!

magentawarped · November 2013

andrea ri 80 said:
It has occurred to me, my 2 year old likes to sort and line things up, like obsessed with everything in a line, books, wipes packages, legos, bar stools

This is what I thought of when I saw OCD in the post. I actually am OCD, and we joke that my daughter inherited it. She has to have things in a specific place, lined up perfectly. The first time I ever gave her crayons, she put them all back in the box right side up.

flyingsaucer · November 2013

Totally normal and totally annoying. DD is just like this. I give in to a lot, to save sanity, but won't give in when safety, etc is concerned (like her wanting to go out without a coat... Big NO). DS (5) was like this as a toddler. It phased out by 3.5 or so. Now he does other annoying things... Sorry to say :P

Watergirl21 · November 2013

Dd used to do this - when I had my second child I no longer had the time to let her make so many decisions- like picking out her clothes. Surprisingly she stopped having a lot of tantrums around the same time. Not sure if it was because I took control or she grew out of it...

dairygirl19 · November 2013

My 2.5 year old is like this. She knows the routine/drill/what's going on and if something is out of order/different and I didn't tell her about it, I hear it.

Her latest is H and I have to sit in specific chairs at dinner and if it's not close enough she's irate. We had to stop that because it was annoying as can be. Other stuff I let slide.

For the most part it's great though because she knows what needs to happen and just does it.

I do a lot of narration. "I know we usually do this but X is happening now instead." She seems to get that.

And yes, after playdates she knows where her stuff goes and if her friends put it back wrong she's all upset. I'm like that too though. She gets her organization skills from me.

IDK about the tantrums. My kid isn't too bad about those. I ignore most of them so I think she realizes screaming isn't going to let her win.

And yes, I limit choices. For right now either 2 or none at all. She's easily overwhelmed with options still.

AvianaNmommy · February 2014

my almost 2.5 yr old is exactly like this too!

GirlLeastLikelyTo · February 2014

My son is EXACTLY like this. : )

Is your three year old OCD?

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