About to be a FTM, need advice & opinions on bed sharing. — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

About to be a FTM, need advice & opinions on bed sharing.

This is our first baby, So I am probably being way too over the top with researching.....anyway DH & I have been discussing the whole sleeping arrangement for this LO.

I was wondering for those of you that bed share: What are the reasons you did/do it? Overall experience? And what about the SIDS warnings....does it worry you?

Re: About to be a FTM, need advice & opinions on bed sharing.

  • What would you consider safe bed sharibg?

    I need a warm blanket to sleep & I am concerned about the LO getting covered inadvertently
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  • Ditto what PP said. Definitely check out her link on safe bed sharing. Fluffy covers and covers above the waist aren't recommended. I usually sleep in a cardigan to keep from getting cold and wear a stretchy tank top that I can pull down to nurse. With all the snuggles I get from DD, I never get cold! I never imagined I would bed share before LO, but I love it! We all get better sleep, and I love the snuggles after being away from LO all day!
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    [Deleted User]Momarazzi007[Deleted User]Chichigo
  • I'm lazy and it was easier to nurse a baby who was next to me, rather than get up multiple times in the middle of the night. I would wear sweatshirts to bed, so I could stay warmer and also unzip it for feedings. Both my kids slept in polar fleece sleeping bags for the first few months, and DH and I used separate blankets and one pillow each.
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  • Bedsharing rocks. It makes nursing so much easier--baby can latch while I sleep (albeit after the newborn days, NBs need help latching), it helps our family reconnect, it is great for baby's breathing and heart regulation, it is what is normal for most of the world. I see proper, safe bedsharing as safer than baby sleeping alone based on the great research from James McKenna. PP referred you to his site, but I encourage you to also buy his book if you are on the fence. It is really about the why of it, with a bit about the how.
    aditigirl[Deleted User]Momarazzi007[Deleted User]
  • We've bedshared since day one. At first it was necessity, because DS wouldn't sleep unless he was in my arms or at least latched on. Now I can't imagine it any other way. Just be careful and safe, and trust your instincts :)


  • ncbelle said:

    I bed share because it helps us all get better sleep!  And I think babies are meant to be close to their mamas.

    James McKenna has really interesting research on bed sharing - link in my siggy.

    FWIW, bed sharing doesn't cause SIDS - in fact, it lowers the risk.  Improper bed sharing (not using a safe sleep space, etc.) can lead to suffocation deaths - different altogether.  Given that I practice safe bed sharing, I don't worry about suffocation risks.  Sadly, babies can die in any sleep space; all we can do is make the sleep space we use safe as possible.
    Everything she said! While my more traditional mom friends are fretting over lack of sleep, I have adequate rest most nights thanks to bed sharing. I had no clue about it prior to giving birth but I educated myself quickly once DD arrived and haven't looked back! I keep my feet under the quilt and wear a warm cardigan or zip up sweatshirt to stay warm up top. We each use a pillow, and I keep her well below the pillow so there is no chance of it covering her face. We usually have a dog and cat in bed with us too (now that DD is older, we kicked them off when she was an infant) so lack of coziness is not an issue :)
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  • DH and I never planned on bedsharing but it just kind of happened.  We figured out very early on that it was MUCH easier to bring the baby into bed with us than to get up multiple times per night.  Honestly, I always thought bedsharing was kind of weird until I tried it but now I love it and I kind of feel bad for mommies that never experience it.  It is such a wonderful bonding experience.  I love falling asleep cuddling with my sweet baby's tiny little body.  DH is kind of indifferent about it.  He doesn't hate bedsharing but he would prefer that DD be in her own bed.

  • We never planned on it either! 2 & 1/2 years later haven't looked back! A lot of great info from posters above with good links to sound information! I didn't want to be redundant redundant- but I did want to chime in full support!
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  • I hate to admit I would judge people for this when I was not a mom myself. Now, I couldn't imagine not doing it. We started with cosleeping with a cosleeper that goes in the bed with you, but DS hated it and wouldn't sleep in it. None of us were getting any sleep before, but now he's sleeping right next to me and finally sleeps. I get sleep too because if he gets hungry I just pull down my shirt and he eats and then when he falls asleep I pull it back up. I feel so much better now that I get some sleep. I use a blanket, but it stays at my hips. I also use a pillow but it's behind my head and I just sleep on the very corner of it. I feel much more comfortable with this than I would with DS alone in his crib, but it's just what works best for our family. You and your DH should be on the same page though, especially if the baby will be in both of your bed.
  • Hello. I had a co-sleeper on my side of the bed that I had intended to use for the first few months. After taking my daughter home it was quickly apparent that she slept far better (and longer) snuggled in bed with me. The fact that I was ebf made it even more convenient to have her in the bed next to me. I was comfortable because I barely move in my sleep and felt secure with the co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed. My husband was not thrilled with the arrangement mostly because he moves a lot in his sleep and was afraid of rolling onto the baby. Despite his fears, we wound up co-sleeping for the first year +. While I loved the closeness, it definitely went longer then I had intended because once she was comfortable in the bed there was no getting her out. It was a battle to transition her to the crib after she had been sleeping with us for so long. With my next I will co-sleep for the first 2-3 months and then transition into the crib. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
  • We room share and DD is in her own crib.

    We tried to bedshare during the first weeks nap but I was so sleep deprived that I didn't know she rolled into me and I almost did the same to her. I woke to DH lifting her out of the bed.

    We have a queen and while a snugglenest gave her her own space...It was too tight for all three of us to sleep well.

    Co sleeping IMO really depends on the individudal family.
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