letting baby cry

Annerenee7 · January 2014

My lo is 10 weeks. We have gone through a couple different sleep issues (cluster feeding, not letting me put her down, 1:30 bedtime bc she would become overtired) In the last week I started to work on a healthy bedtime routine as recomended by her ped. At 7:30 I give her a bath, put lotion on her, and read her a couple stories in her rocker while I nurse her to sleep. I've been getting her in bed and sleeping by 8:30-9. However she's been waking up crying around 10 and I've just been letting her cry for 10 mins or so. Sometimes she falls asleep and sometimes she doesn't and I go and pick her up. Her ped said shs doesn't have a problem with me letting her cry 10 mins at 2 months but that doesn't seem to be the consenus on here. She absolutely refuses a pacifier and doesn't like to be swaddled.She seems to like her white noise machine but it shuts off after 25 minutes and then that wakes her up. Constructive opinions apreciated.

MissyC979 · January 2014

I would try feeding LO if he usually wakes up crying at that time each night. At 10 weeks, it's too early to let LO cry that long and he likely needs the extra calories.

Also, buy a new sound machine. There are a ton out there that don't turn off. We have the Homedics one.

Annerenee7 · January 2014

Thanks for the advice. I'll have to just start tending to her quicker. I do feel bad letting her cry like that

CaitS07 · January 2014

I second the late nap idea. My LO usually is down for the night between 930-11. I let him guide me. If he does go down earlier than that, it's only for a nap and will wake up to eat again. One thing that has helped me is to nurse then give an extra 2 oz at night in the bottle. The ped said to pack in as many calories as possible to help get him to sleep longer stretches at night. If your LO is waking up after the white noise machine is turning off, it's a sign she's not in deep sleep during that time.

mhwood · January 2014

Have you heard about dream feeding? My SIL swears by them.

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a525845/dreamfeeding_prevents_nightwaking

trudibell · January 2014

Your LO is way too young to try any CIO techniques. Crying is her only way to communicate, and ten minutes is a very long time. I agree with everyone else about establishing bedtime routine. Sometimes my LO will cry around that time and just simply picking him up and holding him for a few minutes will do the trick. Best of luck.

mrsseguin · January 2014

I absolutely don't agree with letting your baby cry. My baby may fuss for a few minutes, but if it ever turns to crying or if she fusses for more than 5-10 minutes, we go get her. Please tend to your baby.

If you have a white noise machine that shuts off after 25 minutes, then your baby wakes up...maybe you should get something that doesn't shut off. We have used fans in the kids rooms since they were born. They work great and they're cheap.

Annerenee7 · January 2014

I get her if she cries for 10 minutes. I don't want people to think I let her go longer than that and that I'm neglecting her

quietlyexpecting · January 2014

Don't get down on yourself about the crying. You are still trying to understand your baby and figure her out. Sleeping issues are probably the hardest. If you are still up in the evening let her do her "sleeping" while you do whatever it is you do at night before you go to bed. RAther than getting frustrated when you "put her to bed" and she wakes back up. We did what you mentioned with our first...with our second he stays downstairs in the evening until we're ready to go to bed ourselves...he's usually asleep between 8-9 sometimes as late as 10:30. Eventually that bedtime gets earlier. Some people have babies that go to bed early and wake up EARLY...like 4 or 5 so maybe be thankful for the late bedtime. GL

sschwege · January 2014

Annerenee7 said:

I get her if she cries for 10 minutes. I don't want people to think I let her go longer than that and that I'm neglecting her

This is The Bump, if people thought you were being cruel and neglecting your baby, believe me people would be saying it. I don't think anyone read it that way judging by the responses, I know I didn't.

I think it's fine to let them fuss for a few minutes, I would say 3 minutes or less. Truly sometimes they are just cycling through sleep and will settle on their own. But if it's hard crying or has gone on more than a few minutes then go in. Personally I would feed at this age, but I know some would argue to wait.

Oh and definitely get a white noise maker that stays on all night, or just stop using one. That's why I despise the Sleep Sheep, it turns off just as they are cycling to a lighter sleep. We have the HomeMedics one with the projector screen, though we only use the white noise.

Annerenee7 · January 2014

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! I just want to do the right things and its so hard sometimes to know what that is- especially as a "rookie" haha

trudibell · January 2014

I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I'm a rookie too. Hang in there, it gets easier!

Annerenee7 · January 2014

Me too pfew!!

amberrrjade · January 2014

Jumping on the dreamfeeding tid bit... M dream nurses and it's amazing. However, she introduced it, I didn't even know it was a thing until a week after she started doing it. We get into bed (cosleeping) around 11-1130 and she'll nurse for about an hour before she's passed out. Usually 4 to 5 hours later she starts to rustle about and lazily bash her head into my chest/shoulder. I sit up, pick her up, place her near my breast and she latches. She'll nurse for about 7 minutes on average then I lay her back down and we both fall asleep, she then will have another dreamfeed two hours later and then we'll sleep for another hour or two after that.

Annerenee7 · January 2014

We have a similar schedule with feedings after she falls asleep for the night - I've just been having trouble getting her to sleep that initial time

JuneMrs · January 2014

There's a reason your LO is waking up that's still a very young age. I would soothe her and put her back to bed. I would also suggest getting a white noise machine that stays on all night. My oldest is 3 and still sleeps with it on all night to help cut down on noise in the house, our dogs, outside noise, etc.

agfox92 · January 2014

Another noise machine option, I use a humidifier which makes a bubbling noise similar to an option on my noise machine so I turn on the noise machine while the humidifier gets going and by the time the noise turns off the humidifier is going and making noise. I fill it every night and it's enough water to run from 9 to 7:30

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Annerenee7 said:
Thanks for the advice. I'll have to just start tending to her quicker. I do feel bad letting her cry like that

Yeah anything CIO-related should not even be entertained until 6 months. This is way too early.

Annerenee7 · February 2014

Well first full night of the humidifier and not letting her cry for more than a couple minutes seems to be going great. Did our bed routine and she went down for two hours. Woke up and I fed her quietly in her dark room, put her down and she is out ! Woohoo! Hope the trend continues!

Unknown · February 2014

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Annerenee7 · February 2014

So last night went great! She was down at 9 and up at 11 to eat and then slept straight through the night until 7 am! Total first! I'm so excited! Thanks to all of you who were encouraging and helpful with the tips. Using the humidifier as white noise seems to be the solution to the white noise shutting off issue. Again tonight she was up 2 hours after I put her down, ate, and fell back asleep on her own. I'm just so happy! Thanks again ladies!

Unknown · February 2014

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Annerenee7 · February 2014

Haygurlhay- Im a Christian so I'm not going to say what I would like to say to you. I'm just going to pray for you and your other victims on here.

Annerenee7 · February 2014

Haygurlhay- Im a Christian so I'm not going to say what I would like to say to you. I'm just going to pray for you and your other victims on here.

Unknown · February 2014

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Unknown · February 2014

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PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Annerenee7 said:
Well first full night of the humidifier and not letting her cry for more than a couple minutes seems to be going great. Did our bed routine and she went down for two hours. Woke up and I fed her quietly in her dark room, put her down and she is out ! Woohoo! Hope the trend continues!

Sleep will change. Please acknowledge & accept this. I'm not being mean. I'm stating a fact. Also, please do not CIO again (for any length of time) before 6 months. Ferber himself says this. Please.

It's cruelty to your baby. They don't stop crying because they are self soothing at all. They are not crying because they learn no one will come to help them. Seriously, learn about child development before you torture your kid any more. Baby is only 10 weeks or so. Waaaaaaaay too early to CIO for any length.

chevronseven · February 2014

@Nicb13 I was shocked too when I read through! Just goes to show there is no reason at all why we have to verbally attack each other to get a point across. Anyone who goes to the trouble of posting on here asking for advice obviously cares enough about their LO to make sure they are doing the right thing. Respectful, constructive comments are always more helpful than insults. A lot of people on TB are brand new at pregnancy/parenting and have no prior experience with babies to go on, so what may be considered by many to be common knowledge just isn't. I wish more people would talk to other people the way they would want to be talked to.

Carmlvsjose · February 2014

Ok so I completely understand that CIO is inappropriate when baby is young, but what do you do when you are driving and baby is crying in the back seat? Do you pull over to soothe each time he/she cries or do you keep going?

And I'm not trying to be a smart ass, I'm genuinely interested in what others do.

Unknown · February 2014

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PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Carmlvsjose said:
Ok so I completely understand that CIO is inappropriate when baby is young, but what do you do when you are driving and baby is crying in the back seat? Do you pull over to soothe each time he/she cries or do you keep going?

And I'm not trying to be a smart ass, I'm genuinely interested in what others do.

That is entirely different than being available & ignoring your baby. Yes, if I am able I pull over to soothe if baby is losing his mind.

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

@livelaughlove88 : you know, someone's gotta stand up for this kid. Any mom that let's a 10 week old CIO goes beyond ignorant into cruel. Read a book on child development FFS.

chaitea84@aol.com · February 2014

My husband and I tend not to let our baby boy cry- since he's so young, (also 10 weeks), we are focused on building the trust that we will comfort him when he cries. We find that he cries less this way. His sleeping patterns change when he is in a growth spurt, (only 4 hour blocks when growing), but up to 9 hours of sleep when we have an outting that day and he gets tuckered out. We use the sleep sheep which stays on for 40 minutes and then turns on again when he moves so it's a neat little contraption! We use the Halo sleep sacks for swaddling. You may want to try that again as the Moro reflex can really wake those littles ones up! You have an awesome bedtime routine- I'll have to take a page out of your book on that to get him a regular bed time- thank you for sharing!

Annerenee7 · February 2014

Im absolutely done with this website. I have received some good and encouraging advice from some nice mothers, but cannot stand the awful cruel people on here. I truly hope that you people who get enjoyment from trying to make people feel bad don't teach your children to be the bullies that you are. The level of pure meaness on here makes me so sad. It justs makes me realize how ugly people can be. And I may let my baby cry for few minutes on occassion but do not neglect my child. Not that I need to defend myslef to a soul on here. I just really hope that peoples hearts will change to hearts of love for their fellow mothers, but I'm not sticking around on here to find out. I'll be getting my advice from friends and family from now on.

cagoldi · February 2014

Annerenee7 said:
Im absolutely done with this website. I have received some good and encouraging advice from some nice mothers, but cannot stand the awful cruel people on here. I truly hope that you people who get enjoyment from trying to make people feel bad don't teach your children to be the bullies that you are. The level of pure meaness on here makes me so sad. It justs makes me realize how ugly people can be. And I may let my baby cry for few minutes on occassion but do not neglect my child. Not that I need to defend myslef to a soul on here. I just really hope that peoples hearts will change to hearts of love for their fellow mothers, but I'm not sticking around on here to find out. I'll be getting my advice from friends and family from now on.

Honest to God, this is one of the funniest GBCBs I've seen in quite awhile.

We're mean because it's pointed out how distressing it must be for your NB left to cry alone? You're the one that's cold and unyielding to the cries of your infant. I think that's pretty selfish and mean.

Zimger · February 2014

I think people should keep in mind that babies have no sense of time. What seems like "just a few minutes" to an adult can seem much longer to a baby.

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Annerenee7 said:
Im absolutely done with this website. I have received some good and encouraging advice from some nice mothers, but cannot stand the awful cruel people on here. I truly hope that you people who get enjoyment from trying to make people feel bad don't teach your children to be the bullies that you are. The level of pure meaness on here makes me so sad. It justs makes me realize how ugly people can be. And I may let my baby cry for few minutes on occassion but do not neglect my child. Not that I need to defend myslef to a soul on here. I just really hope that peoples hearts will change to hearts of love for their fellow mothers, but I'm not sticking around on here to find out. I'll be getting my advice from friends and family from now on.

Um-- you let a 10 week old defenseless baby cry by themselves. Go ahead, ugly cry-- HARD. Panic & think about everything you know abandoning you & you don't know if they are ever coming back. You can't stop the panic. You are crying, hyperventilating. Do that for 10 minutes full on cry.

That, dear, is the definition on cruel. Please do not try lecture me on cruelty.

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