Does your 14 month-old sleep well?

Brentsladyon422 · February 2014

Is your 14 month-old a good sleeper? I nurse my ds to sleep between 8-8:30, transfer him to his crib, and like clockwork, he's up 1-1/2 to 2 hours later. I can usually get him back down after that, but he never stays asleep for more than 3 hours (and often times much less than that). Usually after the second waking, I'll get lazy and just bring him to bed with us. I really want him to sleep in his own crib because I think we'd all sleep better, but maybe he's just not ready (?), and I'm anti CIO. Just looking for some feedback, I guess, on what's "normal" at this age. Thanks!

BLPL101 · February 2014

DD is 14 months and sleeps well. I started a bedtime routine for DD and she started sleeping through the night at almost 11 months. She didn't know how to self soothe.

hollygb22 · February 2014

DD is 15 months old. She naps once a day typically from 12-2 , is down at 7 and typically sleeps anywhere until 6am-7am..that wake up varies by 20-30 minutes.

She started sttn at 7 months old. We had a heck of time from 3-7 months. i BF her until she was 1 year old and tried to nip the nursing to sleep in the bud a little early on just so she would put herself to sleep vs. nursing to sleep. If I did nurse her before bed, I would burp her to rouse her and put her in the crib while she was awake. We did resort to CIO/some sleep training early on around 4.5-5 months...that helped us with the multiple motn wake ups that were every other hour and got her down to just one motn feeding that gradually got later and later until she started sttn at 7 months.

Good luck! Sleep was definitely the hardest part for me to deal with!

*LrCg* · February 2014

This is our 3rd baby and all were great sleepers. We also bed shared until about 6-8 months (each child was ready at a different time) and I also nursed to sleep (when we bedshared they would wake up to nurse and fall right back to sleep). By the time my babies went up to their cribs they no longer were waking up in the middle of the night to nurse (they slept about 11-12 hours straight). I state all this not to "throw it in your face" but to say this is what is "normal" to me. As a bedsharer and nurse and rock to sleep mother (and anti-CIO) I've heard that because of my actions my children would never be good sleepers and I never found any of that to be true. So my point is, don't compare nor feel your actions are wrong. This may just be your child's development. People find it odd that even when teething my kids don't wake up in the middle of the night (they do wear teething necklaces but I never give medicine for it). At 14 months there can be so much going on in his head that it keeps him from sleep- teething, mental development, exploring more, growth spurts, etc- the list is endless. If it is your desire to remove him from your bed then maybe put the crib in your room close to your bed and let him get use to that. When he's use to it, move the crib across the room and work itself out of the room.

minervacullen · February 2014

DD still wakes once or twice a night, usually she nurses and goes right back to sleep. There are nights when she will wake every 2-3 hours yet too, and occasionally a night where she doesn't wake at all. DS didn't sttn until at least 18m. Who knows why some kids wake and some sleep all night. Sure there are theories abound, but I think it's just an individual/genetic thing. I often have a difficult time falling asleep, I'm not naughty or broken.
Try to be consistent with him and eventually he will get the hang of it.

Jackiemxoxo · February 2014

DD sleeps through the night from 820-7am. She didn't start sleeping through the night until 13 months and I still nurse her to sleep but she goes down without nursing for naps. What helped for us is putting a crib soother in her crib in case she wakes up she will play with it until she is out. As well as making sure she ate enough at meal times and pushing her bed time back a little later. Before dd started sleeping through the night in her crib, I would take her into bed with me on the nights she would wake up just to get some sleep and for her to sleep for longer than 3 hours. I think you gotta do whatever works for you and find little tricks that help them sleep longer.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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bubble520 · February 2014

My DS is 13 months and five days and I could've written that post.... so its normal to me... but maybe not in general

beccalee721 · February 2014

My 15 month old has been STTN since about 6 months. Sleeps for 12 hours plus a 2 hour nap after lunch. She occasionally wakes up at night and cries a bit, but just until she can get comfortable and falls back to sleep. I think all kids do things at their own pace, but we were strict about her sleeping in her own crib from day one and did sleep training once we knew she didn't need to eat in the middle of the night. We felt that it was important for her to self soothe.

mb314 · February 2014

My 17 month old sleeps horribly, and has since he was four months old. My DS' sleeping pattern sounds similar to yours, although in the last month or so, a few times he's slept from 7:30 pm until 2:30 or 3 am. But that is inconsistent - usually he is up about 3 to 4 hours after going to sleep. If he wakes up and I'm already asleep, or if he wakes up and it's time for me to go to sleep, I bring him to bed with us. He's been in bed with us every night since he was 7 or 8 months old, even though he starts the night in his crib.

I think it's a myth that all kids can sleep through the night on their own. Some people get lucky with great sleepers. Others of us get unlucky and have horrible sleepers. DH is pressuring me to do some sleep training, but I'm not there yet. I may try night weaning within the next few months, but I don't think either one of us is ready for it yet.

ashiscute · February 2014

I weaned DD at 13 mos and DS at 14 mos and both slept through the night after being weaned. While they were still nursing they were only waking up once at that age and it was usually like 4 or 5 am.

Does your LO know how to fall asleep on his own? If he's always nursed to sleep in your bed and then moved to his crib he's not going to like sleeping there. I don't think that all kids are ready to sleep through the night at 14 mos but waking that many times per night is excessive to me. If I were you I would consider sleep training (which does not mean CIO). It just means teaching your LO how to sleep and where to sleep. At this age, barring any medical issues, he should be ready.

LyndseylovesHugh · February 2014

Are you against all sleep training? There are some methods that do not involve CIO that could possibly help him learn to sleep better. I would look into The Sleeplady Shuffle and The No Cry Sleep Solution.

To answer your question, my dd is a great sleeper, but wasnt until we did sleep training. The big thing that helped her turn the corner was learning to fall asleep on her own, once she learned that it was great and took very little tears to get there.

pb_bride · February 2014

DS is 15.5m and we did sleep training so he's been STTN since he was 5m (I night weaned him then). He now sleeps about 10.5-11 hrs at night (8p-6:30a), and takes 2 naps (about 3 hrs total). We did Ferber. Even if you are against CIO, it's worth getting Ferber's book (Solve your Child's sleep problem) because it has lots of information about infant/toddler sleep.

DS's sleep regresses every time he's sick, or teething, or going through a phase of separation anxiety. Usually they last a few nights (the longest was a 2 week stretch where he woke up MOTN screaming), once the offending problem is gone, he goes back to STTN.

sschwege · February 2014

DS is almost 14 months old and has always been a great sleeper, like insanely good and we had nothing to do with it.

DD on the other hand was never a good sleeper, so I've been there!

Based on the information you have given it seems like your LO is probably having trouble falling back to sleep once he wakes. Everyone wakes for brief moments during the night, but if LO doesn't have experience drifting off without what he is familiar with that results in the longer wakings. Imagine falling asleep all cuddled and warm in someone's arms and waking up and they are gone! We went through the same thing with DD. Ultimately what we had to start doing is, I would nurse her in living room, she would inevitably fall asleep. DH would take her...and here's the hard part, wake her up. He would bring her to her room, read her a book and stay with her comforting her until she fell asleep. It was hard, you are so tired and now you have to wake a sleeping baby?! But it made a world of difference for her, she slept a lot better once I stopped nursing her to sleep.

skibunny59 · February 2014

I am the same as you. DD is almost 2 and even now that she is nightweaned never gives us more than 3 hour stretches. We also bring her into our bed. Honestly, I stopped worrying about what was "normal" and just focused on what worked for us as a family.

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AimeeL85 · February 2014

Yes, DD is almost 14 months and I nurse her around 7pm for bed, but she usually falls asleep in her crib when she's done. I would say about 1 out of every 3 nights, maybe even less now, she wakes up to nurse between 4 and 6am and then goes back down (or doesn't wake up and sleeps through until) 7 or 7:30am. She naps at 10am for about 45 minutes and then about 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

My son, who is now 3, was up 5+ times per night until he was 16 months old and I thought I would lose my mind. I was anti-CIO too but in hindsight, I realize now that he had no idea how to put himself back to sleep because I always nursed him to sleep. I am *not* saying never nurse your baby to sleep, it's a natural thing to do, but if you're doing it every time they wake up at night even when they're not hungry, because that's the only way they know how to fall asleep, it turns into a real problem and interrupts the sleep they need to be getting.

With DD, I did things differently, and she's been a beautiful sleeper. I tried a mild Ferber at 6 months and in less than 48 hours (and less than 20 minutes of crying combined over the course of that time) she became a beautiful sleeper and always has been. I can still nurse her to sleep anytime she wants to now and it won't affect anything.

LyndseylovesHugh · February 2014

JandACoffee said:

LyndseylovesHugh said:

Are you against all sleep training? There are some methods that do not involve CIO that could possibly help him learn to sleep better. I would look into The Sleeplady Shuffle and The No Cry Sleep Solution. To answer your question, my dd is a great sleeper, but wasnt until we did sleep training. The big thing that helped her turn the corner was learning to fall asleep on her own, once she learned that it was great and took very little tears to get there.

LyndseylovesHugh Hey now, don't judge if you haven't been there. We sleep trained DD with Sleep Lady Shuffle at 6.5 months. She has put herself to sleep beautifully ever since then (prior to that it was taking 2-3 hours of screaming). She still wakes 3-4 times a night though most nights. Part of that I'm sure is my fault because I am holding off night weaning completely till 15 months (I nurse the later wake-ups still), but she has been waking like clockwork at about 2.5-3 hours after going down since she was newborn and for the last 2 months won't nurse at that time even when I try. We have been doing CIO with checks since that started, not picking her up, not talking to her, etc... and have been really consistent with it, and she still wakes up and screams for anywhere from 20 minutes to 45 minutes or longer every night during that first wake-up and then another 1-3 times. We have no idea why. It happens at home and elsewhere so its not like there is something in our house waking her up.

Not all kids respond as beautifully to sleep training as your LO did. DD has been putting herself to sleep for 8 months and still doesn't even come close to STTN. We've tried NO Cry Sleep Solution, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, Sleep Lady Shuffle at night also. None of them made one bit of difference. I'm honestly not even counting on complete night weaning making much of a difference.

My DH apparently didn't STTN till 18 months and was formula fed. His parents tell me they were not opposed to CIO, it just didn't work.

@JandACoffee I was not judging, I was asking OP if she was against all sleep training because she said she was anti CIO. I was not saying all kids respond to sleep training, just merely pointing out there were other methods she could try if she has not already. That is why I said "could possibly help him." I am not sure why you took that so personally, but to OP, if that came off as judging you I apologize because that is not what I was intending.

ETA: I mean this with 100% sincerity, not being snarky, but I am sorry that nothing is working for your DD so far. But you are 100% right, sleep training does not work for all kids, just keep doing what you feel is best and she will sleep through the night eventually. And I think it is awesome that you are still breastfeeding, I wish I was able to this long! Props to you!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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URMySunshine77 · February 2014

AimeeL85 said:
My son, who is now 3, was up 5+ times per night until he was 16 months old and I thought I would lose my mind. I was anti-CIO too but in hindsight, I realize now that he had no idea how to put himself back to sleep because I always nursed him to sleep. I am *not* saying never nurse your baby to sleep, it's a natural thing to do, but if you're doing it every time they wake up at night even when they're not hungry, because that's the only way they know how to fall asleep, it turns into a real problem and interrupts the sleep they need to be getting.

@AimeeL85:

This is my DS! He wakes up so often at night, and I don't have the patience or clarity of mind to do anything but nurse him. And he gets super mad and fights me when we just rock. I know that it's a vicious circle. He is 13 months.

AimeeL85 · February 2014

URMySunshine77 said:

AimeeL85 said:
My son, who is now 3, was up 5+ times per night until he was 16 months old and I thought I would lose my mind. I was anti-CIO too but in hindsight, I realize now that he had no idea how to put himself back to sleep because I always nursed him to sleep. I am *not* saying never nurse your baby to sleep, it's a natural thing to do, but if you're doing it every time they wake up at night even when they're not hungry, because that's the only way they know how to fall asleep, it turns into a real problem and interrupts the sleep they need to be getting.

@AimeeL85:

This is my DS! He wakes up so often at night, and I don't have the patience or clarity of mind to do anything but nurse him. And he gets super mad and fights me when we just rock. I know that it's a vicious circle. He is 13 months.

@URMySunshine77 yep I sympathize, it was brutal! There were nights I literally banged my head against the wall outside his room. I read "No Cry Sleep Solution" and it had a lot of good advice but ultimately didn't fix it (however, I was so desperate that I never stuck to one tactic for more than a night or two, was always changing it up trying to find something that would work). I still do recommend it, though, because it's what opened my eyes to what the problem was. I truly wish I had been open to Ferber with him, though... he would have had so much more restful nights - I wish I had at least tried it.

On an optimistic note, though, once he was 16 months a switch flipped, and he became an amazing sleeper and has been ever since, for both naps and nighttime. That still doesn't make me a "just wait it out" person once they're this age and still sleeping terribly, but at least it does end at SOME point!

traveltheworld · February 2014

DS (19 months now) has consistently STTN since about 12 months. He was able to fall asleep on his own at about 5 months, but then would wake up several times a night to nurse. I agree with PPs who said that not all methods work for all children. I tried REALLY hard to cut down on the number of times DS would nurse at night, but wasn't able to do it; despite trying several sleep-training methods. Eventually he ate enough during the day that he didn't needed to nurse at night anymore.

Nowadays he still wakes up once or twice a night if he didn't eat enough during the day, but we generally can put him back down after giving him a bottle of milk.

It's ironic though, DS is so used to sleeping by himself that when we travel, DH and I are forced to sleep in another room (or in the kitchen floor with an air mattress LOL) because he won't fall asleep if we are in the same room as him.

LyndseylovesHugh · February 2014

JandACoffee said:

LyndseylovesHugh LOL I really wasn't offended in the slightest. I read your original post as "Are you all against sleep training?" instead of "Are you against all sleep training?" so I was just like "hey now!" (seriously not in a pissed off way though)

I also figured I'd mention that the Sleep Lady Shuffle and the other sleep training methods didn't work for us because it was extremely discouraging when we were going through all this and it never really worked for her MOTN wake-ups when everyone else talked about how great they were! Sleep Lady Shuffle did work amazingly well for getting her to put herself down at bedtime though as I mentioned... Some of us though just have really really bad sleepers :P

Ha, I can see how switching those words around would change the tone of my post!

ilovedesi · February 2014

DD is 15 months and was only doing one night time wake up since around 10-11 months but now she is sleeping through the night (11 hours ) with one nap during the day (about 1.5-2 hours).

We did use the CIO method to get her to drop her middle of the night feeding and it was bad for one night and by night two she cried for about 5 minutes and that was it. CIO is not as bad as it sounds. I was definitely against it at first and my husband was adamantly against it but now that we are all getting better sleep we realized that it was best for our family.

su2002 · February 2014

You've received a lot of responses but I don't think anyone has suggested an earlier bedtime. That may help with the wake up shortly after going to sleep. I know it seems counter intuitive, but give it a try for a week. You may not end up nursing to sleep though...

this decaf life · March 2014

We did sleep training at 9.5 months because I thought I was going to break, I was having a rough time. She's been ridiculously awesome since then 2 hour long naps in the day and she sleeps 6-530, I nurse her before I go to work, and back down until 7.

I think an earlier bedtime is always a good option.

URMySunshine77 · March 2014

AimeeL85 said:

URMySunshine77 said:

AimeeL85 said:
My son, who is now 3, was up 5+ times per night until he was 16 months old and I thought I would lose my mind. I was anti-CIO too but in hindsight, I realize now that he had no idea how to put himself back to sleep because I always nursed him to sleep. I am *not* saying never nurse your baby to sleep, it's a natural thing to do, but if you're doing it every time they wake up at night even when they're not hungry, because that's the only way they know how to fall asleep, it turns into a real problem and interrupts the sleep they need to be getting.

@AimeeL85:

This is my DS! He wakes up so often at night, and I don't have the patience or clarity of mind to do anything but nurse him. And he gets super mad and fights me when we just rock. I know that it's a vicious circle. He is 13 months.

@URMySunshine77 yep I sympathize, it was brutal! There were nights I literally banged my head against the wall outside his room. I read "No Cry Sleep Solution" and it had a lot of good advice but ultimately didn't fix it (however, I was so desperate that I never stuck to one tactic for more than a night or two, was always changing it up trying to find something that would work). I still do recommend it, though, because it's what opened my eyes to what the problem was. I truly wish I had been open to Ferber with him, though... he would have had so much more restful nights - I wish I had at least tried it.

On an optimistic note, though, once he was 16 months a switch flipped, and he became an amazing sleeper and has been ever since, for both naps and nighttime. That still doesn't make me a "just wait it out" person once they're this age and still sleeping terribly, but at least it does end at SOME point!

@AimeeL85

DH and I finally decided that it was best for everyone in the family if we attempted CIO with check-ins this week. I also knew in my heart that LO would respond OK. It has taken me this long to know. It's been three nights, and he has responded very well. Last night he woke up three times and fussed for half a minute and went back to sleep. I feel like a new person and I know that the quality of his sleep has increased. Thanks for your support.

AimeeL85 · March 2014

@URMySunshine77 I'm so happy to hear that!!! It's amazing how much of a relief it is when they start sleeping well, life is so much better. I felt the same way when I did it with DD, I knew it wouldn't be torturous for her and trusted my instincts to do it the right way...just wish I had listened to my instincts the first time around. Oh well, live and learn! Glad everyone is sleeping better!

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