Loss ladies- need advice

Re: Loss ladies- need advice

• Lizzybizzy80 member

  February 2014

  I know you have good intentions but I wouldn't advise sending that type of message. It doesn't sound like you guys are very close anymore.

  

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• lioness13 member

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  Yes. Bad idea. Really bad. I think you are making assumptions (you know what they say when you assume...) and being a little extra. If your posts (or anyone else's about babies) are bothering her, then you have to give her space to deal with it in her own way. If you want to be a friend because you feel like this is heavy on your heart then just reach out in some way or just pray for her.

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• PinkPuffyHeart2 member

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  Thanks!! I kinda had a feeling it might be a bad idea, but I don't know why I feel compelled to write to her. I will take the advice of @lioness13 and just pray for her. You guys are great. Appreciate the input.

   

   

  

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• CoffeeBeanFiend91 member

  February 2014

  Never bring up a loss. There's a reason she didn't make it public or tell you.

  

  

  

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• LiLi23 member

  February 2014

  Another vote for bad idea. It's really sweet you're thinking of her though. I know I wouldn't have wanted anyone to ask me bc it would just bring up all those emotions all over again.

   

  

  

   

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• jennOK member

  February 2014

  I have a friend who has had two losses. She mentioned one of them to me, but she never brought up the other. Our husbands are also good friends, and her husband told mine. That's how I know about the second. Since having LO she never comments on any post I put up about Him. She also isn't comfortable talking about their infertility issues. I never ask. I figure if she wants to talk about it she will. It's a very painful and personal thing.
  
  Everyone deals with things in their own way, and your friend will come to you if she wants to talk about this, but don't approach her about it. Just continue thinking of and praying for her.

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• PinkPuffyHeart2 member

  February 2014

  Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a bad idea it was. We are not close friends, but I do really like her. It makes me sad to think she may be struggling or sad and not able to talk to anyone- but maybe she has talked to her close friends and is doing ok. I have not experienced a loss so I have no idea what it is like or how it feels, other than what I have heard from you awesome ladies on the board. She is such a nice girl, hopefully she will have a sticky baby in her future.

   

   

  

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• kanga1622Wed220857 member

  February 2014

  It was sometimes hard to see pics/posts when we were dealing with a long TTC and then a loss. But I never felt like anyone should stop celebrating their life and their family to make me feel better.
  
  There is no need for you to do anything. She can always block your updates for a bit if it is hard for her but then she'd end up blocking 75% of her updates if her feed is anything like mine.

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