Ideas on When to Start Giving a Toddler Timeouts.
ladyjenna13
member
I saw a mention about timeouts on a thread over in the female dominated areas of this site, and it got me thinking. We have already started to give timeouts in our house, for a few very specific things.
Touching the stereo or television.
Playing with the stove/oven.
Playing with the dishwasher.
Banging on the windows.
We simply say "no" once, say "timeout" once, say "no" again, and then it is to the crib for a 3 minute timeout if he does not stop the behavior. These are the only things we give timeouts for. Some people believe that a timeout is not effective for a toddler before they are 18-20 months old. My wife is a child psychologist, and she believes that curbing instances of bad behavior now will help us later on. I tend to agree. There were five things on tihs list once, and he no longer does that fifth thing because the TO's have already discouraged him from doing it, to the point that all we have to do is say, "no bathroom" and he won't go in there.
What do you guys think about timeouts for toddlers?
Re: Ideas on When to Start Giving a Toddler Timeouts.
Before age 2 I don't personally believe anything beyond distraction and removal *really* work for correcting behaviors. But some people call that a "time out".
Thankfully, our son usually listens when we tell him no, that he can't do things that will hurt himself or other people.
We've always used reasoning and positive reinforcement. Occasionally, we have to do a short time out (2 minutes).
I would never spank or hit my child. I think that encourages hitting and just seems flat out mean in my opinion.
The things I listed as reasons for a three minute timeout we consider safety issues in our house. His isolation in his crib is hardly that. There are plush toys in there that he instantly goes to...he cries all of 10 seconds, tops. He actually wanted to stay in there this morning during one. But it has worked, using the bathroom as an example of our success. He has also not touched the stereo in some time.
I think defining spanking is important. I would consider a light pat on the bottom, after the age of 2, a spanking, and I have no problem with that. A full wind up ass whipping, at any age, is entirely out of order. That quick, light pat on the ass to get that attention, I am a big fan of that.
Boys are a different breed. My son is already testing his strength, and I let him know that being gentle is the best way to be. Sometimes, he can really bring it. There ain't no way he will ever think he can handle me...that ain't happening. I tried that once with my old man, a hippie, liberal pacifist. He stood up and told me to take my best shot. I turned around and slunk into my bedroom, silent.
But those fun times won't be for awhile.......
My pediatrician, mother of five, recommended that we start time outs shortly before DD turned 18 months. DD is old enough to understand us even though she can't communicate back with words yet. We put her in time out, 1 minute per year of age, so 1.5 minutes at 18 months, when she doesn't listen to us, especially if her actions are dangerous (e.g. going near the stove after we reminded her once to stay back and tell her "danger"), hurtful (e.g. hitting), or actions she now knows are wrong but likes to test us to see what reaction she might get (e.g. throwing food).
I sit her against the wall where I can see her. If she moves, I put her back in the spot, tell her "time out" and restart the clock. She doesn't go in time out more than once every couple days typically. I don't want to over use it. I call her the time out queen. She really knows how to sit until I come get her!
Based on that, 3 minutes is too long for your LO. Do you think that the physically restrictive crib is more effective discipline than teaching them that they must remain seated on a time out spot?
You're teaching your child to avoid the bathroom?
Sounds like a bad plan come time for potty training.
What's that about?
No, we are not. I actually hold my son from time to time when I am taking a leak so he can watch daddy do it and gain some interest in it. Playing with mommy's hot iron or other things in the bathroom was what I was referring to many months ago.
Thanks, though.
Saying "No, hot!" instead of "No bathroom" may have been less confusing. I understand where she was coming from given the information she was given.
No, we are not. I actually hold my son from time to time when I am taking a leak so he can watch daddy do it and gain some interest in it. Playing with mommy's hot iron or other things in the bathroom was what I was referring to many months ago.
Thanks, though.
Ah, gotcha. Thanks.We are starting to transfer timeouts from the crib to his chair in the living room. But the crib was fine. He has never had a problem recognizing his crib is for sleep time. The boy can sleep!