All the things you said you would never do

busterbeagle · February 2014

This is a question for STMs but also for pregnancy-related things for FTMs. What parenting things did you think you would never do before you were a parent, but once you were in the trenches, you ended up eating your words? On the flip side, anything you've stuck to your guns on?

typeset · February 2014

I've reneged on nothing. I'm perfect.

Ladiebug710 · February 2014

No pacifiers. Haha that lasted 36 hours. The joke was on me though because lo never liked them

No blankets in the crib. Well lo just slept better with a blanket bunched up next to him

Never use food as entertainment. It is amazing how much more productive I am in the kitchen if lo is restrained in the high chair eating Cheerios while I cook

There are many more I'm sure. Those just seem to be the ones I broke on the earliest

Mittens14 · February 2014

Huh, I'm not really a "I'll never do this..." type of person. I've always been pretty open minded about things, but I guess some things I thought I might do and didn't or thought I might not do but did would be :

-I thought I would put DS in his crib from day one, I didn't think there was a need for him to be in my room since his room was right across the hall an we had a baby monitor. I ended up having a c-section and it was easier on me to have him close by for MOTN feedings and such.

-I never planned to give DS a pacifier, imagine my surprise when he came back to my room from the hospital nursery with a pacifier in his mouth lol! I took it but the following day he came back with it too... After almost a week in the hospital I let him keep it lol

-I planned on making all of DS's baby food, I bought a Beaba Baby Cook and all but daycare didn't allow me to bring homemade food so I made his food for nights and weekends but realized he like Plum Organics much better and ate a lot more so gave in on that too

That's about it I think... DH and I pretty much go with the flow type of people, so no hard and fast rules for us.

Miggg · February 2014

I was going to have The Healthiest Pregnancy Ever and eat all the vegetables and protein and gain 25 pounds. Aaaand here I am 29 weeks and 35 pounds later with an open bag of sour patch kids on my desk and no remorse.

Mittens14 · February 2014

Miggg said:

I was going to have The Healthiest Pregnancy Ever and eat all the vegetables and protein and gain 25 pounds. Aaaand here I am 29 weeks and 35 pounds later with an open bag of sour patch kids on my desk and no remorse.

LOL!! That was how I was with DS and ended up gaining 45 lbs. BUT I was a really happy pregnant lady and my son came out happy and healthy so don't worry

CamrynnsMommy · February 2014

My children were never going to have soda, watch TV, wear character clothing, or sleep in my bed.

We do all of the above. Go ahead and judge, I know it's coming.

Kageer · February 2014

Never eat the leftovers off my kids' plate. Now-three bites of chicken nugget and some muffin crumbs. Yum!

busterbeagle · February 2014

CamrynnsMommy said:

My children were never going to have soda, watch TV, wear character clothing, or sleep in my bed. We do all of the above. Go ahead and judge, I know it's coming.

Ahh, the character clothing! That was me, too! And obviously she also gets to watch TV/movies if she wants all the characters, which I also said she wouldn't get to do.

cnbean · February 2014

I was going to breastfeed for the first year at least. I mean I was totally set on it. That was the one thing I knew I was not going to compromise on. Well... I hated breastfeeding and the hormones from it actually made my postpartum 1000% worse. We made it a month before I realized my son needed a loving mom more than breastmilk. No regrets.

I also was so sure he was going to sleep in our room for the first few months. Yeah that lasted maybe a week. We all slept so much better when he was in his own room. If this LO wasn't going to be sharing DS's room I'd start whim out in his own room.

busterbeagle · February 2014

I've held strong on never feeding her a hot dog. Mostly because that would require me to touch a hot dog, and that's gross. But I did learn how to cook bacon for her.

MissLadyTay · February 2014

One benefit of not having a bunch of "rules" ahead of time meant that I didn't have to eat crow. MH and I did what worked for us and our kid in the moment. I think the general things I felt strongly about - breastfeeding, using babysitters and making time for ourselves as a couple, waiting until our son was at least three to have another baby, no spanking - were actually easier than I expected. The things that surprised me as being hard were in-the-moment things, like what to do when your two year old slaps you in the face in public. For me, that's the hardest part of parenting - when your kid is wheezing in the middle of the night and you're trying to decide between an ambulance and driving him to the ER. Nothing can prepare you for that stuff. Even thinking ahead, you can't really form an opinion until it happens to you and you're standing there. Anyway, I'm glad I didn't get all wrapped up in "use a pacifier" or "don't use one." That was an easy decision - a pacifier soothed my screaming baby when my nipples were bloody, so using one was a no-brainer.

jenb_99 · February 2014

Refused to consider c-section, had one anyway and loved it.

Refused to consider feeding formula, ended up failing at BF.

MrsT2008 · February 2014

Honestly, I went into the whole thing with an open mind about most things and can't really think of anything I said I'd never do. So there really isn't anything I've gone back on my word about!

Two things come to mind that I really didn't want to do that I've stuck to - no bed sharing and on a smaller scale, no room-sharing either (short of traveling and not being in our own house). DD was in her crib from day 1 (but I wouldn't have hesitated to move her to the PNP in our room if that didn't work out). But we do feel pretty strongly about the no bed-sharing thing.

Junebug060609 · February 2014

I was going to make all my baby food and not sleep train. Yeah...

ThereBeDragons · February 2014

I had grand plans when we started TTC about what I would put in my body while pregnant- including the two week wait. No caffeine, no allergy/pain medications, absolutely no class c medications at all. And I'd eat organic and home cook every meal.

Yeah. I ditched the all organic home cooking about halfway through the first year of TTC.

Next went the allergy/pain meds. Turns out misery is denying yourself Claritin for two weeks during a nasty allergy season because you "might" be pregnant.

Then, sometime in 2011 I miscarried early and got so depressed that it was actually worth being on the happy pills despite the class C category.

Then, sometime in 2012 I gave up on giving up caffeine and decided to just be moderate... And to stop making stupid proclamations about what I will never do.

spinsoffresonance · February 2014

Miggg said:

I was going to have The Healthiest Pregnancy Ever and eat all the vegetables and protein and gain 25 pounds. Aaaand here I am 29 weeks and 35 pounds later with an open bag of sour patch kids on my desk and no remorse.

That's totally what I thought too when I got pregnant with DD. ended up putting on over 50lbs!

Other rules:
- no pacifiers, lasted less than 48hours
- no bed-sharing, I always thought that was some crazy thing only weird crunchy hippies did, yeah, that lasted about 1 night after we got home from the hospital. DD slept in our bed for 10weeks, then in the cosleeper for 7 months. She sleeps in her crib at night now, but I still have to nap with her.
- no processed food, for the most part I'm still trying to limit it as much as possible but I do give her the occasional mac & cheese or lean cuisine or graham crackers.

lavendergiraffes · February 2014

I'm a ftm but I said I would keep my same workout routine throughout my pregnancy.... Hasn't happened. In my defense I had horrible dizzy spells first trimester so doing my classes was impossible and then I was tired. Then I just got out of the routine of going! I went to prenatal yoga tonight though!!

bumpuser10194737 · February 2014

Things I caved on:

No tv before age two

No character shirts or room decor (Thomas the train bedding on their bunk beds...)

No pacifier

No sending them to the nursery in the hospital.

No screens for entertainment while waiting at the doctor's/restaurant/etc. (It's an occasional last resort, but my Kindle or phone have come out on more than one occasion.)

LoveIsAll25 · February 2014

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

Things I caved on:

• co sleeping (I swore he would be in his crib from day 1)

• bed sharing

• CIO

• formula (purely naive, not that I judged others but also didn't realize all if the ways BF could go wrong)

Things I have stuck to:

• no junk food before age 1 and still limit it after

• extended RFing (only 1 now but stil hoping for 4)

• cloth diapers (even though everyone said it would only last a week)

• no bulky/puffy coats in the car seat

jenb_99 · February 2014

I forgot one I stuck to but wish I hadn't. I took the advice of friends and family and vowed never to bedshare or put DS to sleep anywhere but in a "proper" sleeping area (PNP, crib, RNP). We never let him sleep with us, even for naps. I deeply regret that decision, because now DS won't sleep anywhere but in his crib. We can't snuggle him to sleep in our bed or have him nap with us on the couch. It's sad because I feel like I'm missing out on cuddles and bonding, but it can also be inconvenient, especially when he's sick or when we travel.

I don't want to make the same mistake with this second baby. I don't want to go the opposite direction and have her in our bed constantly, but I'm also not going to be so rigid that I never allow it.

rainydayluck · February 2014

I don't think I've had any rules that I set for myself when I knew I was going to be a parent. Now, there are things I said I would never say because I hated it when my parents said them and I totally use them (my kid is 3):

I said, that's why

Because it's my house and I want it that way. You make your own choices when you buy your own house

If you keep doing that X will happen (like you will fall and crack your head)

(These are things I usually say after the 30th time I get asked the same thing.)

Ladiebug30 · February 2014

The only thing I said I would never do is leave my son (or any other children I may have) alone with my MIL. She has made it known that she feels my husband and I are ridiculous for some of our parenting views and we know she would not follow them if she were not under our supervision.

I also said I would never let her drive DS anywhere. She had a surgery where her neck bones are fused together so she has no mobility in her neck. To look in any direction, she must turn at the waist.

These are things that still have never been done.

ajsweeton · February 2014

Like @therebedragons I thought I would be a perfect eater during pregnancy after struggling so hard to get pregnant. Before my previous pg we were doing WW and I lost almost 40 lbs so eating healthily then was much easier. I did everything right in that pg, no sweets, no caffeine nothing I wasn't supposed to have at all and then I lost them. I couldn't eat anything healthy after that. I survived on cookies and other junk because it was comforting to eat that. This pregnancy I haven't been good at all. I've been really bad about sweets especially considering in diabetic (I've kept my blood sugar under control with insulin, but I do overindulge) and I go though McDonald's at least twice a week. But I'm still pregnant and the babies are growing and healthy so obviously something is going right. I have a lot of ideas about what I'll do when they get here, but I always try to leave a loophole when stating my desires because I know that I'll be flexible on everything except bed sharing. My husband is a very erratic sleeper and I've been hit and kicked way too many times to put a baby in bed with him.

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

jenb_99 said:
I forgot one I stuck to but wish I hadn't. I took the advice of friends and family and vowed never to bedshare or put DS to sleep anywhere but in a "proper" sleeping area (PNP, crib, RNP). We never let him sleep with us, even for naps. I deeply regret that decision, because now DS won't sleep anywhere but in his crib. We can't snuggle him to sleep in our bed or have him nap with us on the couch. It's sad because I feel like I'm missing out on cuddles and bonding, but it can also be inconvenient, especially when he's sick or when we travel.

I don't want to make the same mistake with this second baby. I don't want to go the opposite direction and have her in our bed constantly, but I'm also not going to be so rigid that I never allow it.

I really think that taking DS out so much in the beginning got him used to sleeping just about wherever which I am thankful for. However, I failed to implement enough of a schedule that after we hit a regression we were bedsharing and I couldn't get him out of my bed. It finally took 3 nights of CIO to get him to sleep in his own bed. Not too proud of that.

christieep · February 2014

I said I would never hide vegetables, thought my kid would eat them if he was hungry enough. That being said, he does eat his veggies a good portion of the time, but he has streaks where he goes days without ingesting a veggie and they start getting hidden in mac and cheese or eggs. Seriously, never say never!

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