Anyone else? — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

Anyone else?

I'm mobile, so sorry if we've talked about this and I missed it, but is anyone else tired of people calling after dr appts to ask how your pelvic exam went? No one has ever been this interested in my lady bits, but man, I'm a little tired of my mom and MIL calling after every appt asking how my cervix is! My MIL calls my DH and asks "Did they check her?" Maybe it's because I'm a FTM, but I don't like being asked about my dr putting his hands up there. My mom asks if I'm "progressing." No matter how you say it, you're still asking for me to talk about regions that were never appropriate to talk about in normal conversation before.

Maybe I'll get flamed for being a prude, but I really just want people to ask me how my work day was, not if my baby is going to fall out soon. They baby will come when he's ready, now please, can we talk about ANYTHING else?
defri17sheesha

Re: Anyone else?

  • No, thank goodness. I would tell my mom probably if I knew though. I think you just need to tell them they stopped doing checks until you are in labor.
    Married - 5/2008
    DS #1 - Born 9/2011
    DS #2 - EDD 3/2014
    Arieltncsparklr10
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  • Nope, but I declined cervix checks anyway. Maybe you should tell them your doctor said everything looks fine and will no longer be checking your cervix. :P

    GREEN to PINK on 3.14.14 
    ArieltncKbhunter
  • LW78 said:
    No, no one ever calls me to ask about my cervix. But my husband does ask me about my mucous plug, every time I come out of the bathroom.

    lol! If my husband knew what it was he would totally be doing the same thing...and asking to see it.
    Arieltncmhilpisch10IdyllicPursuitkimberpoo
  • My dr hasn't done a pelvic exam at all. Yesterday they tested for GBS, but he just listened to LO's heart, measured, and said things were looking good. He did say Baby was head down, so that's good! But I don't ask too many questions cause I know if something were wrong he'd tell me and we'd go from there. My MIL irks me more, mostly because she and I don't run on the same wave lengths, but my mom asked me this morning and I wanted to roll my eyes and say "Not you too!"
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  • Yeah no one ever asks me about the state of my cervix. I would just tell them that they don't check at all and hopefully they stop asking. 

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  • I could totally see my MIL asking about this to my husband. She's a nurse, and tends to ask all of us medically related questions that I find to be too personal! We haven't told her yet that the baby is breech, because I'm sure it will lead to a million questions and her worrying way too much. 
    Arieltnc
  • I thought I would inform my MIL just to be nice and keep her in the loop and hoping she would keep it to herself . What did she do? She announced it to all of her co workers very loudly.
    ArieltncWisconsinCheese12
  • I never tell people when I have appointments. And the only people that do know, are the people I would share that info with openly (bffs, mom, dh). This is the same reason I never tell people when I have tests, special dr appointment, don't feel well...I don't want the questions. 


    BFP #1 1/26/13; EDD 10/5/13; MMC and D&C 2/26/13.
    BFP #2 7/8/13; EDD 3/19/14; DD born 3/2014 due to pre-e
    BFP #3 8/24/15; EDD 4/29/16; MC 9/6/15 
    BFP #4 10/31/15; EDD 7/10/16 MC 1/23/16 
    BFP #5 12/20/16 EDD 9/2/17, DS born 8/2017 due to pre-e
    BFP #6 10/19/19 EDD 7/2/20


    kstar83
  • They don't know when my appointments are and I really like that. Otherwise they would ask. My mom and MIL will likely start asking soon. Haven't come up with a good response yet but I don't plan on having any checks until I'm in labor anyway. Easy answer-nobody knows.
    WisconsinCheese12Arieltnc
  • Don't tell them when your appointments are. Problem solved.

    Srsly, no one besides MH knows when my appointments are. Why should they?
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    ArieltncWisconsinCheese12[Deleted User]
  • Definitely not!  I actually didn't even think other people would even think to ask haha.  If someone asked me about anything that refers to my cervix or how things are progressing I'd be shocked! 

    Yeah I agree with others, just stop saying when your appointments are.... or just flat out tell them, "Ok stalker, stop obsessing over my vag" ;)
    Arieltncfarmrose[Deleted User]
  • People tend to be overly excited about babies. Now that you are so close to the end they are probably just hoping something changed and you are going to go into labor any minute.
    Married 6-1-13
    Sebastian 3-11-14
    Simon 5-2-15
    Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
    Arieltnckimberpoo
  • My dad is very guilty of this. He keeps track of my appointments and insists that I update him on a regular basis. I stopped telling him what was going on bc he was getting so annoying. Now he's trying to give me advice on how to jump start my labor..... Really? I want him to push a baby out of his pecker and then he can tell me what to do but I can't.
    Arieltnc
  • I was asked after my first check yesterday by a few random people. My response was that nothing is happening, all is well, and that getting fisted by a stranger was a great way to start Hump Day.

    They left me alone after that. :)

    ArieltncPerkyErky[Deleted User]
  • The hard part is I carpool with my mom to work, so when I don't go home with her, it's cause of the dr, so we have to plan different driving arrangements. That's why my mom knows. I hate it! I had the talk with DH last night about not telling his mom when our next appt was. I think the talk went something like "How would you feel if my mom called and asked about your penis everyday?!" His response was "Ew that is so disturbing." Yes dear, it is. :-/
  • You're so lucky! Lol! =))
    WisconsinCheese12
  • LW78 said:
    No, no one ever calls me to ask about my cervix. But my husband does ask me about my mucous plug, every time I come out of the bathroom.
    When you do lose it will you please save it to show him...and then tell us his reaction  :D

    My parents never asked about my cervix but I did volunteer that info to them. I would usually let them know when my next appt was and that I would call them afterwards and let them know how it went.

    MIL and FIL didn't typically know when my appts were unless we had skyped recently. They only really got updates if my H told them something or we were skyping so they were pretty out of the loop.
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    [Deleted User]WisconsinCheese12akb1125
  • I would just tell them that they aren't doing cervical checks.
    Married 4-26-2011  Me 31 DH 28  
    TTC since 12/2011  
    5/4/13-IUI #1=BFN,  6/3/13-IUI #2=BFN, 7/1/2013-IUI #3=BFP!!!
    Little Man arrived 3/28/14 at 10:32pm
    9 lb 1 oz & 21 3/4 inches



    ArieltncWisconsinCheese12
  • No one did this to me but I did have her three weeks early, so I feel it might've happened if I went longer.

    But someone did ask me if I had an episiotomy or tore naturally. While a nice lady, I am not close enough to you to be asking about the state of my vagina after delivery. That is not okay!
    Kinley Diane
    Born 2/4/14
    Weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches long

    Arieltnc
  • I will tell my husband and mom and up until recently I was telling my mil just because she gets super excited and our relationship is way better this time around than 4 years ago with DD. She felt the need to go and say something to DH about my shower and that I let my nephew nap in the crib... Now I'm withholding information and it drives her crazy! It's the little things that make me laugh after throwing up all day! ;;)
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    Arieltnc
  • My mom asks, but I have also had cervix issues and my cerclage was removed on Monday, so my cervix was already a regular topic of discussion. My ILs don't ask directly but they ask how things are going or any progress. My family is pretty science-y and discussing body parts and functions was pretty normal growing up.

    Anyone else asking aka coworkers and stuff would be weird.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

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    Arieltnc
  • ....the only person dumb enough to ask about my cervix is "Patrice" cause she's nosy & a gossip. Or my mom. One will get a snarky answer & one is a licensed Midwife who knows what the F she's talking about.
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    WisconsinCheese12Arieltnc[Deleted User]
  • Thank goodness no one has asked me this yet, although a few times episiotomys and other too-vagina-related-for-comfort topics have been breached by people I am REALLY not comfortable discussing that with, like my male boss. He's my friend's dad and means well, but ew.

    my mom actually offered ME tmi the other day when she started discussing that she was going in for a routine pap smear. BARF mom, please never ever mention your lady bits to me again.

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    Arieltnc
  • My husband does not even ask me, but I totally agree with you, why does everyone need to know right? Some of my friends post all of their measurements on Facebook, week to week! I
    Arieltnc
  • Eek I'm such a weirdo, but I work at a small office and there are a handful of girls that I can't wait to talk about my progress with. They are all new moms and genuinely curious. I'm normally such a private person so it's funny that I'm in the minority on this one.

    The one question that I have gotten in the last few weeks that makes my skin CRAWL is "how much weight have you gained?". Wtf who would ever think this is a normal thing to ask a woman, let alone a swollen, cranky, sensitive pregnant woman?
    Arieltnc
  • Agh…that bothers me too!  I just tell people that I decline the checks.  

    Plus, DH's cousin just had a baby and MIL sent out a mass text to the family with her cervical measurements and other quite personal info!  LOL...  I would have died if that were me!  So she gets to know NONE of that information now that I'm sure everyone in the family and beyond will get a text about my vag.  
    I still joke with DH and ask him if his mom has texted him about his cousin's lady bits today!
    image -love- image

    WisconsinCheese12
  • H goes to my appointments so he already knows and I call my mom after to tell her everything. We are both nurses and have an ongoing debate about everything bump related :)


    WisconsinCheese12Arieltnc
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