Incident at daycare vent/opinions

mightmom13 · February 2014

As I am EST, I will be headed to bed shortly but will be on tomorrow but:

DD was at daycare today and her speech therapist (SLP) texted me to call her ASAP when I was at work - so I did. Apparently DD had little kid hair ties around her hand, which was now swollen "like a latex glove," noticed by her daycare providers during snack which was after wake up, lights on, diaper change. DD had apparently cried a couple times but they just rubbed her back and she "went back to sleep." My guess is she just laid there like she does at home sometimes - staring off. By this timeline it had been at least 2 hours, her SLP said something about a room change so not sure if it was actually longer than that or not. I stayed in touch with the SLP and per the doc eventually met my back-up (as my folks were out of town) at a local ER after leaving work. My dad finally got there and as a second medical opinion, function was there and I will check for signs of clots in the morning. She still has a red ring around her wrist, oh 7 hours later.

I got an incident report from the school - much more detailed than her previous non-fault injuries. It said they called and left a message, but they called from a Houston, TX line - so it must have been personal therefore why would I pick up my phone at work - they have always called from their phone - so if SLP wasn't there I would have found out via the note. SLP was very concerned about the hand and I trust her as we have been working over a year with her. The other concern is that even though DD told ME in the past tense (and her SLP) that her arm hurt - she did not say a word to them, concreting to me that she shuts down there and still does not view them as people she can trust. DD's OT has even made some comments that "they don't seem loving toward the children."

My mom is not an option to watch her, she goes for the developmental pre-school evaluation this coming spring, if qualifies would start in the fall, if not I need to find back ups that now could obviously take her most of the day. I currently work 3 12 hour shifts and am home every other day/work every other day and home most weekends, but I work in the city a commute away. I am thinking of taking/looking for a desk job because I AM DD's only support physically and financially. My folks were out of town, but luckily a back up who she knows semi-well was able to pick her up and meet me at the ER. I feel like our world is so small.

So do I just stick with this place until I know the pre-school situation....it's almost my only option? Has anyone taken a step-down job/pay to help out their SN kiddo and be close just in case? I am very frustrated right now, especially with the school and how things were handled. I had my doc and the SLP saying "immediate medical attention" and the daycare saying "oh it's not that bad" and calling me from a weird phone.

Assembly_Reqd · February 2014

Are there no other daycare options either by your work or home? Or maye a bit longer of a drive from either place? An in-home provider?

If that had happened to Nate, I would pull him ASAP and then report the incident to the daycare licensing board or BBB. You have every right to be LIVID.

Princess_Lily · February 2014

The preschool is trying to cover their butt for liability reasons, but it doesn't seem to be working well. To me this was a sign of negligence, how could they not see your child's hands?! I would pull your DD if I were you, until there is something more suitable.

I had to temporarily step out of my position due to DS. Its quite hard because you have a set plan/idea of how you will be working, but its for your child's benefit to be taking such a career move. Its about our children now, not us anymore.

Can your LO be cared for by your mom & dad until the fall? Several jumps/changes in preschool settings (even if you find something suitable temporarily) it may/may not cause anxiety.

bumpuser511563 · February 2014

I think it would be good to look into another daycare setting asap. It also would not hurt to look for jobs.

I have "mommy tracked' myself career wise because of DS.

I have been offered to travel 1-2 hrs. drive each way to our service areas and I turned it down. My work has allowed me to stay in the office. I could not travel for work with our family car that I share with DH. I also would not be accessible to DS if he needed me. Any work events we have outside of business hours are turned down majority of the time due to therapy.

mightmom13 · February 2014

Assembly_Reqd said:

Are there no other daycare options either by your work or home? Or maye a bit longer of a drive from either place? An in-home provider?

If that had happened to Nate, I would pull him ASAP and then report the incident to the daycare licensing board or BBB. You have every right to be LIVID.

I haven't looked around a ton because before it wasn't much of an issue, I had lived closer to the daycare and my folks were more accessible for back up than they are now. I am sure there are other options, but not closer to my work - I work at a hospital so up and leaving isn't a great thing even if you have FMLA on your side. In-home worries me a bit, not sure why.

But yes I am very upset with them right now.

mightmom13 · February 2014

The preschool is trying to cover their butt for liability reasons, but it doesn't seem to be working well. To me this was a sign of negligence, how could they not see your child's hands?! I would pull your DD if I were you, until there is something more suitable.

I totally agree, if I could pull her right away I would - trying to think of an option to do that but as I have to return to work tomorrow, I am not sure if there is one right away.

I had to temporarily step out of my position due to DS. Its quite hard because you have a set plan/idea of how you will be working, but its for your child's benefit to be taking such a career move. Its about our children now, not us anymore. Agree with this as well, I am the only income though so I at least have to watch out for that - I have applied for a couple more local jobs but haven't heard back.

Can your LO be cared for by your mom & dad until the fall? Several jumps/changes in preschool settings (even if you find something suitable temporarily) it may/may not cause anxiety. This is my rock and hard place, both of my folks work and can not handle DD as well as before she got into this stage/age of being, they also are in denial about her having any issues at all. I am also concerned about a quick switch and being in the same safety boat - how I wish I knew more people here! I think she is anxious enough there, so I am looking for a different option in the fall regardless of whether she qualifies for any services or not.

mightmom13 · February 2014

fredalina said:

Ultimately you need to decide if you feel like her current placement is safe and nurturing enough for the next 6 months if she DOES get into that preschool. If I thought not, I would pull her in a heartbeat. Career decisions: I don't think it hurts to look around and apply here and there. You can always turn down offered positions later if they don't work. Just explore all avenues. You might find something even better.

This is more where my mind is at - I just wish I had a pull today option on my hands! I know she isn't a fan of the place hence shutting down, and I can make it as safe as possible on my end but I shouldn't have too (ie, no more pony tails at school). It's a really tough call right now.

I do need to look around more and even though I realize I do have very little time, I keep getting on myself for not having enough time or not doing enough. If it wasn't for her EI services, I would move to a place where we could have better support - my two parents (mostly my mom) and a back up friend or two does not seem like enough being a single mom. Like yesterday, all were out of town but one made it there earlier than the rest and saved my butt.

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