Getting a puppy while TTC

kmsolomon · February 2014

My DH and I have always wanted a dog and we started to think about getting one a bit more seriously in the fall. Then after xmas he told me he just about got me one for xmas but that it fell through. I was mad because I don't think it should be a gift, it should be a family discussion, and I didn't think it was the right time for us. Now we are both still wanting one and we flip flop about whether to get one or not since we have been TTC since June. Neither of us have ever had a dog (only cats) so it will be even harder as it's new for us. My co-worker's daughter is having puppies and is looking for homes for them so we are talking about it again. On one hand it will be at least 9 months from getting the puppy to a baby arriving, possibly longer. So that would give us time to train it and make it part of our family. On the the other hand, once I am pregnant our schedule will get busier with baby prep classes as it will be our first, so is there time for everything? I know that I can't have it all but just hoping for some en site. Thanks

Ducktale · February 2014

Do it!!! Do it do it do it! Rescue dog all the way. We adopted ours at 18 months and he's so awesome.

divinemsbee · February 2014

If it's something you're both willing to commit to and want, then I say do it because you don't need to base your life on the what-ifs in this situation. H and I had been trying for 6 months when we adopted our newest dog. We did adopt her as an older dog (she was 8). She integrated fairly quickly into the household. Just put the time in on training and go for it.

Jags8 · February 2014

If this is your first time having a dog, I recommend NOT getting a puppy, but rather an adult from a shelter. I have grown up with dogs, and my DH and I rescued an adult one a year ago. We just got a puppy in December and it is so. much. work. Plus I hate breeding anyway (DH hunts and "needs" a purebred lab. So we compromised and decided on one lab and one rescue).

So anyway, I would start off with a rescue adult for your first dog.

dogperson11 · February 2014

I agree with getting a rescue dog (adult). Puppies are a TON of work. House training, obedience training, socializing. It doesn't end after a few months - most breeds stay in a puppy stage well over 1-2 years. It's no cake walk, especially if you've never had a dog before.

I highly suggest going to a local rescue and talking with the workers / volunteers. Tell them what you're looking for in a dog (activity level, size, temperament, grooming needs, etc.) and they will be able to help match you with a great family companion.

EleanorKr · February 2014

Adult dogs are great. I adopted a 10 year old Jack Russell two years ago and he is house trained, obedience trained and super sweet.

I don't think I'd ever get a puppy, especially with so many adult dogs needing a place to stay. I'm not saying it's wrong to get a puppy, but I would seriously consider an older dog!

aggiebug · February 2014

A 9mo puppy is still very much a puppy who needs a lot of attention and training. My 7mo old puppy is fun amd smart and still so very hands on, i can't imagime havimg am infant too. I think if you want to get a dog the rescuing an adult dog is the way to go.

spalko · February 2014

I agree with PP that getting a puppy is a lot of work especially if you have never had one before not to mention they are expensive. Getting an older rescue dog would probably be a better option however, make sure that the shelter you get the dog from does work with the dogs to know their personality. The local Humane Society around here doesn't work much with the dogs as far as personality goes so people never know how the dogs with behave around kids, cats, and even men in some cases. Getting a dog (or any pet) isn't something that one should just jump into without doing some research to see what type of dog will fit best with your family. It's a 10-13 year commitment so really think about it and discuss it with your H to decide if it's a right fit for your family right now.

PB&J714 · February 2014

I HIGHLY agree with PPs suggestions of adopting a dog out of the puppy stage. We adopted our boxer at 18 months and she was already full grown, house-trained, and knew not to chew our stuff. But she still has plenty of energy and is a ton of fun! Adopting is the way to go, but if it's your first dog, getting a dog rather than a puppy will be a much better option!

SmileyJay · February 2014

If you want a dog, it is better to get it now and have it trained and settled into your family before you are expecting a baby.

I have two dogs and have volunteered at animal shelters for a long time. Came an inch from going to vet school, so yeah I love dogs and know a lot about them! The one thing I can say is every dog is extremely different from the next and you will only be happy if you get a dog that will fit in well with your family.

Major considerations are your exercise habits, how much time you have for the dog, where you live, if you are okay with pet hair all over the house, if it will be an indoor or outdoor dog, and how much money you have to pay for vet care, food, and other expenses. The most important, and often overlooked, characteristic is the energy level of the dog. If you live in the city, work 8 hour days, and don't take 5 mile runs every morning, you do not want an australian shepherd. If you plan to run with the dog, you don't want an english bull dog. A tired dog is a good dog, and a bored dog will often be destructive or have behavioral issues like barking constantly or biting.

If you are open to it, I would strongly suggest looking at adult dogs at local shelters. Many of them will be fully vetted, house trained, and be out of the puppy stage of chewing everything and messing up your home. The biggest advantage is being able to see exactly who that dog is as they are fully grown. Many cute and sweet puppies grow to have behavioral issues or be too much for a household, but with an adult what you see is what you get. You will also be able to see how the dog does with children and new people. Every shelter I have volunteered with or adopted from does temperament testing and can give you a lot of information on how to dog does in different situations.

When I say "adult dog" I mean anything over 1 year old. Some people worry they won't bond as well if they don't get a puppy and that can't be further from the truth. Dogs know when you save them from a shelter and it is a very beautiful bond. For you, I would say to look in the 1-5 year range, but don't count out the older dogs too. I have known many dogs to live over 15 years, and some incredible sweet and deserving older dogs in shelters that have been trained and raised with children but given up for various reasons. They just need you to give them a chance.

If you just have to have a puppy, I would suggest getting a mellow-tempered family dog breed since you have never had one before. If you don't mind hair, you can't go wrong with a golden retriever. Other great dogs would be a lab, beagle, corgi, or a mixed breed dog. It depends what you want and how big of a dog you are interested in. Mix breeds tend to have the most mild temperaments as they have a larger gene pool. I have a shar pei dachshund mix and he is the most mild-tempered sweet baby in the world... and very different than either a shar pei or a dachshund.

As far as I'm concerned, this site is the best out there for figuring out what dog breeds you may be interested in. For mixed breeds, just look at dogs that seem to be in that mix if it is known at all: https://www.yourpurebredpuppy.com/dogbreeds/

Another great resource is www.petfinder.com to search local shelters. Shelters also have puppies and the pups come fully vetted for much cheaper than you will spend if you get a free puppy and have to pay for all of it's 1st year vet services.

Good luck!! Dogs bring so much joy, you will one day wonder how anyone on earth lives without one.

SmileyJay · February 2014

I forgot one thing - for us we found it 10 times easier to have two dogs than one. They keep each other entertained. They have complimentary personalities, are close in age, and keep each other active. A huge perk for us is they are boarded together when we go out of town so they are not lonely. Our oldest dog had a lot of separation anxiety when it was just him, but having a second dog just made our home life more enjoyable. It is a financial consideration mostly, because more food, vet bills, etc. but I would never have just one dog.

I do know people who successfully have 1 dog... but usually they are thinking about getting a second before too long. It may be something you consider to actually adopt sibling pups from your coworker. With the coworker situation I would make sure to go meet the parent dogs before taking home a puppy. PM me if you want any extra advice. Dogs are sort of a passion of mine!

Sliptak · February 2014

We just got our puppy in August and he's my first puppy too. DH grew up with dogs, hunting dogs (outside) and shitzus inside. I knew it would be a lot of work, but let me tell you it's more than I imagined. Even when you're tired you have to play with him, even if you're sick you have to take him for walks, even if it's freezing cold/raining outside he needs to go out to pee. The most frustrating thing is when you take him out to "make" and stand out there with him, let him sniff out his spots and after 40 minutes of no sign of any desire to poop you bring him back inside. Two seconds later he shits on the ground. I am definitely glad we got him before having a baby because honestly I don't know if I could handle this nonsense with a brand new baby. I'm also a neat freak and when he makes potty training mistakes on the floor I get on my hands and knees and spray and wipe until I can see my reflection. I just know I'd be hesitant to let my baby crawl around on the floor while Rambo is still having so many accidents. He's almost 8 months old now and is finally starting to get better at it, but still has accidents!

ETA: I definitely agree with PP that say adopt an older/already trained dog

SmileyJay · February 2014

@sliptak - you should try crate training. So in your case it would work by taking the dog out, walking around for 10 minutes, if he doesn't go and you know he should need to (just ate within the hour) then put him in the crate for 30 minutes and try again until he goes. Do not let him have the opportunity to go in the house. Crate him when you are gone (never more than 4 hours) and let him out as soon as you get home. He will learn quickly that you want him to go outside. Don't scold him if he goes inside, just ignore it, clean it up, and keep trying. I know it's hard but the worst thing you can do is give him attention (yelling, being upset, putting his nose in it, etc) for accidents, dogs do not learn that way. But every single time he goes potty outside, act like it is the best thing in the whole world and give him a treat and kisses. Dogs are people pleasers by nature and positive reinforcement is the best training aid.

I can tell you that potty training and dog ownership is 100% easier if you can just open to back door and let them out to go potty until they are ready to come in. Even easier if you have two dogs that will go out and run around together until they are tired. Still we take ours for walks but they are not for elimination, they are for exploring and getting energy out.

To OP - if you have a fenced yard, take into consideration if the dog you are considering may be able to jump the fence or dig under it before picking one. Beagles dig, German shepherds can climb a 6 foot fence with ease for example. I have seen families bring in dogs to shelters because they keep getting out - it is so sad and so preventable.

Sliptak · February 2014

@TheCraftyKoala Thanks for the advice! I've been trying to convince DH that we need a fence so I can just let him out and leave him out there for a little bit but we have a lot of other things that we want to do to our house too so he doesn't agree that the fence is a top priority. I started crate training him when we first got him, but now that I have been steadily working I leave the house for at least 8 hours a day when I work (I'm a substitute teacher).

I will definitely stop yelling at him when he slips up and see if that helps. I read books that told me the same thing as you but the ignoring wasn't helping so I tried to putting his nose in it method (that's what DH recommended and I thought I'd give it a try since he has dog experience) but I don't think that helps much. He feels bad for a minute and then forgets about it lol. Little rascal!

SmileyJay · February 2014

@sliptak - A lot of people do it because they don't know any better but the nose in it method is completely ineffective because dogs do not have memories like humans. Many dogs will think you mean that poop in general is bad, and then start pooping in corners, behind furniture, under beds, etc. which is a whole other issue. The best possible thing to do is completely ignore accidents but be super excited every single time they go potty outside. Not forever lol, but for now. Crate training on weekends when he just went out and didn't go potty when he needs to would be great help, too. He will catch on eventually. I do know a lot of dogs that never fully potty train though, the more stubborn breeds like dachshunds are known for this. They will train about 90% but still have accidents from time to time for life. Not all, but it's very common.

You should look into building a small enclosure in your back yard in the mean time. Chicken wire and stakes with a make shift gate would be perfectly fine and cheap for the mean time. Also running a wire and doing a dog run between trees would be fine. When we first bought our house it didn't have a fence. It was the first thing we did but still took about a month (it was winter and we work full time). In the mean time we had little stakes that screw in securely to the ground with a 30 foot light weight cable (not a chain) attached to them. We still watched the dogs carefully when they were out there to make sure they didn't get crossed up but it was so much easier than going out with a leash. I could stand at the back door and watch to see when they went potty and were ready to come in, or let them sniff around as long as they wanted to.

kmsolomon · February 2014

Thanks for all the advice everyone. We still aren't sure what to do. When I told my DH about the puppy he said no, then we both gave our arguments for/against getting a puppy and now I'm not sure if we should get one and he totally wants one. We don't want a dog from a breeder we would prefer a rescue. My co-workers daughter isn't a breeder she just hasn't gotten the dog fixed yet, but after this she is going to get it done. The puppies will be a English bulldog, Siberian husky cross. I've been researching dogs for months and can see that English bulldogs are low energy but the huskies are sooooo much work and energy. So if we got one of these puppies it could be high or low energy. I also saw that the bulldogs are good with cats, but the huskies need to be trained to be around cats, which may be difficult since we have two cats. Bahhha, I just wish we could make a decision. I am totally open to getting a rescue that is between 1-2 years old by my DH isn't. He said that he wants a puppy that way we get as much time with our dog as possible. I understand where he is coming from but a dog that is a bit older coming from a rescue is generally already potty trained and they have a personality by then so we would know if it would be a good match for our home. I guess we will have to keep mulling it over until the puppies arrive.

SmileyJay · February 2014

@kmsolomon - a husky/bulldog mix would probably be mild/medium energy similar to a beagle or boston terrier if you are familiar with those. Some huskies are great with cats, but it is rare because they have a very high prey instinct. A lot has to do with how much you exercise it and how the cats react to dogs. If the cats are afraid of the dog and take off running, the dog will chase the cat by instinct. If you have very uneasy cats I would reconsider getting a dog at all.

All puppies need a way to get rid of energy.. they will have accidents, they will chew things up, they will need exercise, play, and socialization with people and other dogs... so that is what you have to be ready for if you get a pup instead of an adult. If you go with your co-workers dogs, I would choose a pup that looks a bit more like a bull dog if you can.. a stocky body will likely be lower energy than a lean husky looking pup. But I would avoid the short snout or short legs of an english bull dog if you don't want the have some serious vet bills down the road. Mixes are usually very safe bets, but bull dogs are known to keep vets in business. Still, go meet the parent dogs.

The lifespan thing your husband is talking about is so relative. You can get a purebred english bull dog puppy and expect maybe 8 good years with it. Honestly, I have never known one in real life to live to 8, but apparently that is average. Or you could get a 5 year old mixed dog and it live to be 17. My dad's dog was just put to sleep at 18 years old, we adopted her at 1 year. She had been abused and that dog was the most loyal grateful dog in the world. She was a surprise for me when I was 6.... I am tearing up now. You just never know so lifespan would be a very irrational deciding factor. Then of course there is the idea that a dog who is elderly truly deserves one last chance at a loving family instead of spending it's last years in a shelter. No one ever adopts old dogs and it is so sad.

For your situation, the best you could do is get a young dog (1-3 year) from a shelter or on craigslist that has been socialized with cats and children. Many people have awesome dogs that they have to give up because of moving, death, financial strain, etc. so I would start there. Take your husband with you around to local shelters this weekend just to see what they have. Don't get mesmerized by the cute puppies... all puppies will be dogs in no time. The best thing you could do is find a good volunteer or shelter worker who is used to the dogs and tell them your situation and ask what dogs come to mind. They will be happy to try to find you a perfect match. Keep in mind that dogs who have been in shelters but are considered house broken are still going to have a few accidents as they adjust to your home. Just something to keep in mind so you don't have high hopes of this ultra easy transition!

mrssl3813 · February 2014

I 100% agree that you should get an older dog (over 2) from a rescue and NOT a puppy. I raise purebred dogs for show and occasional pets (I have a litter about every 3 years) and a transition point in life (moving, new baby, new job ect.) is not time for a puppy. Little new puppies are a lot of work and need a solid routine to establish good behaviour. Rescue dogs can be quite well behaved despite common myths.

SpartanChick88 · February 2014

Might I recommend looking into a retired racing greyhound? If you are looking for a good family dog who loves to play but isn't too high energy it is something to consider. We got our boy at 2 1/2 - he is now 11. The rescue groups know their personalities and will small animal and child test them. If you are researching breeds don't discount these guys. They don't need a lot of room to run - just a good 30 second race around an enclosed baseball field once in a while, a good walk and a couch or bed to call their own and they are happy. If they aren't your thing, definitely a rescue dog... all breeds have their own.

bumpuser794640 · February 2014

Kredd88 said:
Might I recommend looking into a retired racing greyhound? If you are looking for a good family dog who loves to play but isn't too high energy it is something to consider. We got our boy at 2 1/2 - he is now 11. The rescue groups know their personalities and will small animal and child test them. If you are researching breeds don't discount these guys. They don't need a lot of room to run - just a good 30 second race around an enclosed baseball field once in a while, a good walk and a couch or bed to call their own and they are happy. If they aren't your thing, definitely a rescue dog... all breeds have their own.

I agree that greyhounds are great family pets, but you will want to make sure if you go that route that the dog has been cat-tested, as they are sight hounds and chase small furry things.

KTex419 · February 2014

I would definitely suggest an older rescue dog (as many other posters have said!). It's a tough adjustment for them, but not as rough as it would be with a puppy. Our lab mix was about a year old when we got her, and adjusting to her new home and family wasn't easy. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have to house-break her too. Most rescue dogs will also come spade/neutered, and with their first round of vaccines. If you really want a dog, I would recommend getting it before you have a baby, since some shelters will not adopt to people with children under a certain age, even if the dog is kid-friendly (I used to volunteer in one and they rarely placed dogs with families who had children under 10). You can also take steps to prepare the dog for a baby's arrival. Petfinder.com is a good place to look, that's where we got our dog. You can type in exactly what you are looking for. Good luck!

SmileyJay · February 2014

I am very committed to my pets, but honestly I don't think I could have handled either of my dogs as puppies along with a newborn baby. The first year with each of them was so hard as they adjusted to our household, and I am very used to dogs. Accidents, chewing up all sorts of expensive stuff, and the time commitment to house manners training. Both of ours have been through 3 different training courses. Each of the courses was 8 weeks long, so I have spent a total of 48 hours spread over a year in training courses for my two precious babies... and countless hours training at home. I enjoy it but it is really hard work having a very well behaved pet. I also think having two dogs instead of one made it so much easier because they play together and learn from each other. It is twice the expense though.

I can't even count how many dogs I have seen turned in because "we just had a baby". It is very sad for the dog... and many people get dogs just to play house with until the baby comes. Or they get a puppy around the time they have a baby and do not bond with the dog because they are so focused on the baby, so the dog is seen as a burden. The dog gets the short end of the stick, and they did nothing wrong. So I am just saying if you do get a dog or puppy or whatever, be committed to making it work no matter what.

My dogs are now 5 and 4, and I feel 100% confident they will be awesome with a baby. In hind sight, I can say that if we had a baby around when they were puppies or younger (1-2) I don't know how it would have worked out. If you are planning to stay home all day with the baby then that may be a different story. If you do get one, I want to suggest that the first thing you buy is a good carpet shampooer, bitter apple chew deterrent spray, a bunch of cheap rags for cleaning, and an appropriately sized crate for crate training. Good luck!

barely · February 2014

It depends on what kind of dog you are planning on getting, honestly. All breeds are different and require different things, especially when they are puppies. My German shepherd is almost 2 now and is just now finally starting to settle down. I would have NEVER wanted to be pregnant or have an infant when she was in her first year. She was a vet ry difficult puppy, as is common with this breed. She was very smart and easy to train, but tested us CONSTANTLY. She would constantly bark at us, jump on me (hard), nip at us (hard),etc. she wasn't being vicious, but she didn't understand her own strength in trying to play and also wanted to be dominant over us. Like I said, typical of the breed. We intentionally got her right after getting married so that she'd have time to settle down before we were going to have kids or TTC. She is an awesome dog now and almost completely broken of all of those bad habits. I knew what I was in for, though, because I've had german shepherds all my life. My best advice: do research on the breed, especially since you've never had dogs.

barely · February 2014

I also agree with everyone else about older rescues!

Want a personalized experience?

Getting a puppy while TTC

Re: Getting a puppy while TTC

Choose Another Board

Search Boards