Question about PPD.

Codypup · February 2014

Hi ladies,

I have concerns/questions about PPD. I'm planning on talking to my doctor too, but would appreciate your experience and advice on the subject.

I guess my question is, how do you know the difference between PPD and baby blues/boredom/exhaustion?

When I'm by myself with the baby, I find myself swinging between being okay and then being really, really sad and tired and bored. My mom left this morning and I sobbed for about an hour - she's not only my best friend, but a calming presence, and someone who was able to help with the baby. Now I'm completely on my own and don't quite know what to do with myself. I've had a few days here and there where I've been alone with the baby all day, but since her birth I've had a lot of family visits and such. Reality is setting in that this (this = being alone all day with the baby) is my new reality, and I just feel...off. I also don't think it helps that LO only naps for about an hour at a time, so it's hard for me to nap during the day without help.

I managed to leave the house today for about 40 minutes, but felt almost a paralyzing fear and then a desperate need to get back home. Now that I'm home, I'm bored again and feeling incredibly isolated. It's also a beautiful day here (81 degrees?!) and yet I have no desire to get out and go for a walk, or do anything really.

I read somewhere that it helps to make plans and force yourself out of the house, and I am going to try those things tomorrow. I have a lunch date with a friend of mine scheduled for tomorrow, and another one set for Friday.

So is this just a matter of getting into a routine? Making plans with friends, getting outside, etc? How do you know the difference between true depression and just hormonal mood swings combined with pure exhaustion? Is anyone else going through this, too?

TIA for any and all advice you can provide. Again, I do plan on addressing this with my doctor at my next appointment.

Soap1 · February 2014

That 100% sounds like how I felt after I had DS1, and it didn't get better. For me the boredom/tiredness/sadness soon became total apathy about the baby. I definitely had PPD. I wasn't happy with my new reality and I didn't enjoy my baby or my new life.

I think you shouldn't try to be tough. Talk to your doctor, consider therapy, and look into a mild anti-depressant.

RondackHiker · February 2014

I'd talk to your doctor. Getting a routine and getting out can help... But it may not. And that's okay. Getting help WHILE you try those things (if you can handle them) is probably the best way to go about it.

ziggy903 · February 2014

RondackHiker said:
I'd talk to your doctor. Getting a routine and getting out can help... But it may not. And that's okay. Getting help WHILE you try those things (if you can handle them) is probably the best way to go about it.

Agreed.
Also, (((hugs))) ppd sucks and getting some help has made me feel a lot better!

VeronicaAnn143 · February 2014

I definitely had the baby blues. It lasted about 2 weeks. I cried a lot, got depressed at night, and was sad that life would never be the same. It passed after about that 2 week mark and now I feel normal and tired. What you're describing sounds a little more severe. PPD is totally treatable and it doesn't say a damn thing about your ability as a mother or about how much you love LO. Getting some help and maybe a temporary anti depressant is possibly the best thing you can do for LO!

keags5496 · February 2014

I'm in the camp of talking to a doctor can't hurt. Hugs! I know how hard it can be to have a newborn and not sleep and deal with all the hormones. I'd try to make plans, but also make plans to talk to someone too.

Codypup · February 2014

Thank you guys for responding.

@ziggy903 @rondackhiker -- when you say to seek help, do you mean through your OB? Or Primary Care Physician? And are you referring to therapy, anti depressants, or both?

I guess I don't know where to even start. I also worry that I'm overreacting and that I just don't cope well with being so tired all the time. I guess a doctor would have those answers! Thank you guys.

keags5496 · February 2014

I'd start by talking to your OB and they can put you in touch with the appropriate person.

C12H22O11 · February 2014

First off, ((hugs)). I think the fact that you're asking if there's an issue is a huge step. If *you* don't feel good about the way you feel, then it's time to ask your OB, Pedi, or primary care doc about what to do. I honestly have no experience w/ PPD, so I don't have any input on what the courses of treatment are.

Have you discussed your feelings with friends/DH/other family? Sometimes keeping stuff inside just makes it worse.

I will say that I was overly emotional until about 2 weeks PP. But I took DS out on errands, read books, enjoyed our time together, etc. DH also stayed home with me for the first 2 weeks, so I had companionship. Being alone with the baby can be pretty daunting until you get into a rhythm - but you *will* get there.

Breeze1107 · February 2014

I'm agreeing with what everyone else is saying. Definitely talk to your OB about it. I'm only 6 days pp but plan on calling mine tomorrow because i feel "off".

Big hugs!

ziggy903 · February 2014

Codypup- I just had my 6-week postpartum appointment with my ob, and they asked about 3 questions regarding my feelings and stuff(their standard check for ppd) Then they had me do a questionnaire and graded it. If my "grade" had been lower, we may not have taken this treatment approach- but I was near the top score. Then the ob talked to me about it, asked if we want to wait it out or get a referral to a therapist, or an antidepressant. We had a good discussion about my options and what we all think I need.

I'm on 10mg of lexapro and I have info about preemie parent support groups and another group for parents of kids with birth defects. I also have numbers for a couple therapists if I don't feel the support groups are enough. She said she doesn't usually do the antidepressants, but with him needing surgery soon and being in the PICU for a couple weeks after, she thought I needed them. It's only been a couple days so I can't tell you if they've helped or not yet.

Let me know if you want to talk

you're not alone in your feelings, I can assure you!

coffeyandyogapants · February 2014

No advice here, no baby experience yet. But i just wanted to offer some support and hugs

i have many friends who went through this, and I know it can feel lonely.

Codypup · February 2014

@ziggy903 - Thank you for sharing that. It DOES help to know I'm not alone in these feelings. Your support groups sound awesome.

C12H22O11 - yes, I've talked to people about these feelings, and you're right that it does help. My mom and my H aren't super concerned, but are listening and supportive of me. Both agree that it's worth keeping an eye on, and a call to the doctor if I continue to feel "off."

@keags4596 - thank you for that suggestion - I wasn't sure who to go to!

What's keeping me from picking up the phone immediately is that I don't trust that these feelings are permanent quite yet, and I worry that I'm overreacting. My mom leaving today sent me into a sad state (cue ugly cry)... and even pre-baby, I hated staying home alone for long periods of time. So, you combine my mom leaving plus me being pretty house-bound, and you get a weepy and anxious lady.

I have my lunch dates tomorrow and Friday, and then my H is home all weekend. I'll see how I feel come Monday, but I have a feeling I'll be putting a call into my OB's office. I'm usually in the better-safe-than-sorry camp when it comes to these things, I guess.

rachaelmary · February 2014

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I've had quite a few ugly cries the last few days. I *think* it's just from exhaustion and being overwhelmed with Breastfeeding (LO isn't latching well right now). I'm usually good in the morning and afternoons, but come evening when the tiredness sets in...I get really upset and frustrated and overwhelmed and ugly cry to my husband. Then I get upset that he can't breastfeed lol.

I saw my midwife today and she helped with my latch, plus is having me just pump the one side that's pretty damaged until it heals. Even just knowing I don't have to breastfeed that side for a few days has made me feel so much better. I dread feeding on that side.

Plus, I think going out does help. Staying home all day just enhances my exhaustion...but even getting out for an hour or two helps. Even just fresh air! Makes me feel normal again and that I'm not trapped at home feeding every 2 hours.

I hope your lunch with friends helps you! I'm sure it'll make you feel better doing something more "normal" to your life before LO

.

Sweets11 · February 2014

Soap1 said:
That 100% sounds like how I felt after I had DS1, and it didn't get better. For me the boredom/tiredness/sadness soon became total apathy about the baby. I definitely had PPD. I wasn't happy with my new reality and I didn't enjoy my baby or my new life.

I think you shouldn't try to be tough. Talk to your doctor, consider therapy, and look into a mild anti-depressant.

Yep. This is how it was for me too.

CarynJeanG · February 2014

I had PPD and I'm pretty sure I just got over it. I had no motivation to do anything and just felt like I was going through the motions. I love my DD but anytime I had to change a diaper or make a bottle I resented doing it. I didn't want to be left alone.

I found out that I'm anemic and I was put on iron supplements after DS was born and as soon as I went on those my whole outlook on life changed. I'm much happier and I don't mind changing diapers and feedings.

I really am enjoying being a mom this time around and don't feel like it's a burden like i felt with DD. I would recommend talking with your ob or you general practitioner about your feelings. I wish I had.

mlynn333 · February 2014

Are there anti depressants that are safe for BF? I worry that what I'm feeling may be crossing into PPD, but BF has been really important to me emotionally.

Sweets11 · February 2014

mlynn333 said:
Are there anti depressants that are safe for BF? I worry that what I'm feeling may be crossing into PPD, but BF has been really important to me emotionally.

There are a few that are safe for BFing. I know Welbutrin and Seroquel are two. I would talk to your doctor.

Because I have a history of PPD I was booked into Women's Mental Health for talk therapy in third tri. If it doesn't work, I move onto medications.

Soap1 · February 2014

CarynJeanG said:

I had PPD and I'm pretty sure I just got over it. I had no motivation to do anything and just felt like I was going through the motions. I love my DD but anytime I had to change a diaper or make a bottle I resented doing it. I didn't want to be left alone. I found out that I'm anemic and I was put on iron supplements after DS was born and as soon as I went on those my whole outlook on life changed. I'm much happier and I don't mind changing diapers and feedings. I really am enjoying being a mom this time around and don't feel like it's a burden like i felt with DD. I would recommend talking with your ob or you general practitioner about your feelings. I wish I had.

Yep, that's how it felt with DS1. But with DS2 and so far with DS3, I have not felt any of those feelings. In fact, I cherish the days alone with DS3 - probably because I don't have my two crazy older boys around clamoring for attention!

Just to say that you won't necessarily have PPD with your later babies if you do/did with your first.

Winnieella · February 2014

What you described is how I was feeling. I hated that I resented changing diapers and feeding. I felt guilty for wanting my body to be my own. Thankfully, talking about my feelings has helped, as well as a support group. I actually really look forward to the group.

Codypup · February 2014

Thank you ALL for chiming in and letting me know I'm not alone.

Today I'm feeling better -- Willa was up every 2 hours last night, but this morning has been calm and happy. I was even able to get a shower and do 2 loads of laundry!! It's the small things, eh?

Since yesterday, I've made more of an effort to reach out to other moms I know, and let them know what's going on with me. Everyone promises that it'll get easier, and are huge proponents of getting OUT of the house every day. They also say they too went through "down" periods in the beginning. Some needed help/medication for PPD, and some started to feel better gradually as time went on.

They ALL reminded me how sleep deprivation is a huge factor in all of this. Our bodies just aren't getting sleep, ya know? Hormones are also still raging (cue nightly hot flashes) and it just takes time to acclimate to this new life.

In any case, I'm going to keep an eye on my feelings, continue to talk to my support network about how I'm doing, and try to get into a routine. I still plan on talking to my OB next week. Thank you all again for your support.

(HUGS)

TiffanyCMU25 · February 2014

I felt exactly the same way for the first two weeks but I feel like it's started to get better now that it's the 3rd week! I still have my emotional days every now and then but it's usually when in really tired and wire out! It all sounds like baby blues and is completely normal! It will get better! Hang in there

I'm in the same boat with you!

MamaHollywood27 · February 2014

I love these ladies for many reasons but the fact they have extremely open minds and lots of info on many touchy topics.

I also a while back asked about this because I could just tell something was "off" like you said. I was super edgy, moody and crying easily. After I got off my pain meds Fromm c-section I improved tons. I think mine was a combo of baby blues and the reaction to combo of meds ( I was also having violent nightmares) that really effected me..

((Hugs)) for asking and I'm glad that you see you are not alone, and just like babies come in different shapes and sizes, how we cope/handle after babies birth comes in varying severity from baby blues to PPD.

Your a great mama for recognizing something is just not right and asking

JordyInIndy · February 2014

megash113 said:

mlynn333 said:
Are there anti depressants that are safe for BF? I worry that what I'm feeling may be crossing into PPD, but BF has been really important to me emotionally.
Zoloft is safe for BFing.

I EBF and I'm on zoloft. I took it during pregnancy up until 34 weeks (my OB wanted me to quit until delivery) and then immediately got back on it after delivery.

mlynn333 · February 2014

MamaHollywood27 said:
I was "off" like you said. I was super edgy, moody and crying easily. After I got off my pain meds Fromm c-section I improved tons. I think mine was a combo of baby blues and the reaction to combo of meds ( I was also having violent nightmares) that really effected me..

Thanks for saying this - I'm on the tail end of my meds from c-section and subsequent infection, and this gives me a lot of hope. I'm awake from a nightmare, snuggling my LO, and hoping for better days to come

MamaHollywood27 · February 2014

mlynn333 said:

MamaHollywood27 said:
I was "off" like you said. I was super edgy, moody and crying easily. After I got off my pain meds Fromm c-section I improved tons. I think mine was a combo of baby blues and the reaction to combo of meds ( I was also having violent nightmares) that really effected me..

Thanks for saying this - I'm on the tail end of my meds from c-section and subsequent infection, and this gives me a lot of hope. I'm awake from a nightmare, snuggling my LO, and hoping for better days to come

Awe, hoping for you, that once your med free you have a similar outcome

snuggles with the LO are the best.

eg214 · February 2014

Thanks for this post.

I had a meltdown when my mom left and today my dad left and I'm melting down again hardcore. I don't quite resent LO but I'm just plain exhausted and really sad to be doing this alone. I would really like to go to FL for a while and be with family but know I eventually have to accept this reality. I am going to call Monday for some therapy as well if my insurance allows it. Also look for a support group or other resources around here.

For me the nights are the absolute worst. I dread them. Days I can manage but as soon as it gets dark...I'm done for. I wonder if its a bit of PPD and SAD since we've been stuck inside for a while. I have been getting out but still hard.

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