Intro and IEP Question/WWYD?

edenrivers · February 2014

Good morning ladies. My name is Lisa, I have been lurking for a few months. I have two boys, Michael (almost 3 1/2) and Alex (6 mo). Two weeks ago we received approval for an IEP for Michael, he received a dx of being on the "autism spectrum," but I don't have many more specifics than that because he does not use language functionally, so many evaluations couldn't be completed. Or so I'm told. He does not have a developmental delay, but hits the three main requirements for intervention including social and language. In the past few months he has just started calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy." He's just now starting to give us some phrases for when he wants something "pick up," "do again." We're re-teaching sign language and trying to get him to say "please" when he wants something (there's a lot of grabbing and pointing and whining in our house!) He currently attends a pre-school "class" two days a week, for a total of three hours.

We live in a rural area of northern VA. I know two other moms that have put their children through the eval process and have had their kids placed in an EI classroom in a nearby town about 10 miles away (our town only offers an autism classroom at the elementary school). I've spoken with the special educator writing M's IEP, and apparently, there are no available slots in either EI classroom near us at this time. If the committee recommends a classroom setting (and we all do/will), the nearest classroom is about 25 miles from my house. By bus, he'd have to be riding for over an hour, and class starts at 7:30 a.m. If we take him, it wouldn't be much better. My issue is, he's 3 1/2, waking him up at 6:00 a.m. will be pretty impossible. He doesn't nap, so he sleeps about 12 hours at night. He also has some eating issues, so many mornings now, it's a few hours before he's ready to eat breakfast. In short: He'd be a crappy, cranky mess for teachers that early in the morning. Also, I have an infant, and that throws a wrench in such an early morning routine.

At this time, we have no idea if he'd be recommended for services over the summer. Or if he'd even be able to continue speech therapy. (They need data to back up that he's making progress.) In the fall, he'd likely be placed in a more local classroom, but I don't know if that is guaranteed. The special educator is speaking to her supervisor to go over all of our options (not putting him in a classroom now and just having speech therapy at the local elementary school, attending the far-away classroom for only two days a week etc., finding if there is a slot for him in a local school.)

So I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Questions:
1. Should I just agree to not accept an EI classroom placement until fall, and accept speech therapy services alone? It sounds like he most likely will be on his own for the summer (save of course, "suggestions" from the speech therapist for us to do at home).
2. Should I call the local organization that evaluated him (Child Find) and push to speak to someone to get him in an EI classroom locally now? Is that uncouth? I mean, it's not like I'm paying for this stuff, they don't owe us anything. But I feel like I'd rather they say they cannot offer him services at this time, rather than offer us a situation that isn't really doable for us.
3. Should I push to have exceptions for the far away EI classroom? Like, asking for a later start for him (perhaps my husband could take him on his way to work and drop him off by 8:30 a.m. instead of 7:30 a.m.) And asking for him to only go a few days a week?
4. Should I just suck it up and force my toddler to wake up at 6:00 a.m.?

WWYD? Thanks for reading this, I know it was looooong!
Lisa

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2014

Why can't he do the autism classroom at your elementary school?

edenrivers · February 2014

KC_13 said:

Why can't he do the autism classroom at your elementary school?

I asked the very same question. It's for autism students that are not high-functioning. M is more along the lines of PDD-NOS, if that still existed, so even though he doesn't have a delay, they think he'll do better in an early intervention classroom.

edenrivers · February 2014

YellowLilies said:
I'm confused about the lack of developmental delay and yet the fact that he isn't talking. Wouldn't that be a delay?

Assuming the school doesn't have a afternoon class? 7:30 is such an early start! My son has a long bus ride as well, I'm not a fan. But he has made so much progress since starting the school, so I know ultimately it is worth it.

It makes me feel better that you all are questioning the same things I did! The reqs for a "developmental delay" are cognitive, and they say he meets the reqs for a 3 yr old.
They do have an afternoon class, but it's for the older 4-5 age group. I am curious as to what other class start times are for others here on TB.

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2014

edenrivers said:

KC_13 said:

Why can't he do the autism classroom at your elementary school?

I asked the very same question. It's for autism students that are not high-functioning. M is more along the lines of PDD-NOS, if that still existed, so even though he doesn't have a delay, they think he'll do better in an early intervention classroom.

Meh my dd has a more pdd-nos presentation with delays in language and social skills but is age appropriate in motor, cognitive and adaptive skills and does well in an autism specific classroom. The low ratio of students to teachers means she gets more intensive supports in the areas she struggles with. I might ask to start there for the time being and see how it goes. if that doesn't work id wake my child at 6am. he will adapt and its important to get as much help as you can now since early intervention can make a huge difference.

ToastieSimons · February 2014

My son has a different diagnosis but at 3 we were offered an afternoon slot in the preschool program. I was vehemently opposed to it, DS1 naps a lot still and with his medication timing, the afternoon is difficult. the school hemmed and hawwed about the afternoon being more appropriate functionally and that there were no morning openings.

Well after 6 months (Including 3 months of summer) of him not performing well, and having a difficult time with transitions and refusal to participate they moved him to the morning and had a huge improvement with him.

I say, approach that it's a difficult set up if they do offer you this 1 hour bus ride and early start. Let them know you don't feel your child is going to perform well. They'll either have another alternative or say "tough luck". If they say tough luck, agree to try it out. And say that you want him on a waiting list for a closer classroom. This way if things aren't going well, you can change it up. The IEP is not FOREVER. You are a valuable piece of the team. If your child cannot adjust even after a good hearted attempt and it isn't working, you reserve the right to reopen his IEP and adjust it.

An IEP is about getting YOUR child to succeed. An IFSP is about getting your FAMILY to succeed. Once they enter the school district, unfortunately, it doesn't matter that you have an infant. It doesn't matter that he will have a long busride. And your child will surprise you. You may thing he can't handle it, and he will up and prove you wrong. I always try to remind myself "What would I do if he were typical". I know he's only 3, but this is how he is going to get his "education". If he were 7, it wouldn't matter that i have another child to take care of, or that it's inconvenient to send him to school. It has to happen.

edenrivers · February 2014

@YellowLilies, I just now got on a PC and just wanted to say your little one is adorable! What a cute pic.

Thank you for responding, truly. Some of the responses were not quite what I expected, but this is an Internet forum, so I accept it. I do want to say:

1. I'm not a bad mom. I'm not trying to manipulate or be selfish, I am simply trying to field all of our options. Whatever happened to, "Do what is best for your child and your family"? That's all I'm trying to figure out. Sorry that I'm a newbie when it comes to special needs and an autism dx, but I am. Everyone else was once just trying to figure it out as well. Some other Bump friends recommended this board as a resource. That's all I'm looking for--other moms that have some wisdom, and perhaps empathy, to share.

From what I've read on the board lurking, there are new intros every day, and each child and family is different and has a different story. I'm trying to be to-the-point and as succinct as possible, but short of everyone reading Mikey's developmental evaluation reports, that's the best I can give you! Upsetting M's schedule is a big deal to us ... one of the first symptoms he ever displayed (looking back now, that was a little flag that something was up) was a full-on, 1/2-hour meltdown when being woken up before he was ready. It didn't happen that often, because we rarely had occasion to wake him up for anything.

2. I discovered some new information today. The autism classroom at my local elementary school is for K-2 only. It's a perfect example of what I've been dealing with throughout this process, the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. It was suggested to me by the special educator writing M's IEP that I investigate the autism classroom, sit in on a class, and determine if maybe that is where Michael should be ... and it's not a classroom that is available to him. It just seems like not all of the schools are working together. The process is frustrating, as I'm sure many of you know.

3. I also spoke to a mom acquaintance that buses her child to the school that is in a town closer to us, but it seems the bus ride is just as long. So looks like no matter how we slice it, it's going to be a PITA to get him there. I think now we just need to decide if we take him ourselves, or make him tough it out on the bus.

lemen99 · February 2014

I have nothing to add other than about the school schedule. My son was a 10 am sleeper and adjusted fine to an early wake up. His bus came at 7:30 and he had a 30 min ride. I would gradually adjust his wake up time earlier but he'll be fine!!

Promise. My Son LOVES the bus ride. It is his time to relax. !! good luck!

Assembly_Reqd · February 2014

I wouldn't loose sleep to much until you have more information from EI. If they offer you services and are willing to transport him, go for it. Once all the eval and paperwork is done, there would really only be about 3 months of this school year left for you to suck it up. When summer comes, you can re-evaluate. Also, those three months will give the district/teachers more data on what interventions he needs in the classroom and you can start the next year all ready to go for goals and expectations.

The kids at Nate's school for the deaf take buses from all over the state. I think 1.5 hours is maybe the max. Many kids have pick up times at 5:50 or 6am. We even have some two year olds that get bussed. Supposedly they adjust and can take a nap on the bus (both ways). The buses will have appropriate harneses/seatbelts for the little ones.

Here, each county is responsible for busing the children to the deaf school, but I am not sure that is how your program will work in VA. Keep in mind that your child's pick-up/drop-off times may affect the pick up and drop off times of all the other students who ride that bus's route. They will need to put your address into the route and the pick-up time you get is what you get. As Auntie said 3's are added to the bus route all the time once they move to IEP's.

If you want him to have more time at home in the morning it would be your choice to drive him to school. I do not think EI will reimburse parents who have busing as an option once you get on an IEP. Your state may be different though.

You just won't know how he will be unless you try. He may surprise you. The more rigid and full schedule may bring benefits. Good Luck!

ETA: I drive Nate everyday to school about 40 minutes since he is on an extended IFSP and busing is usually not available until you are on an IEP (depends on the county) I drop him off at 8:15 and do things in the community around the school until I pick him up at 11:30. I get coffee and chat with other moms from school who drive their kids (very fun), go the the Y, do my Target run, etc etc.

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