my mom makes me sad sometimes :/

MyLilPeanut11 · February 2014

I have a great mom! but sometimes she just misses the important stuff. With my first child she did not offer to host or help with my baby shower. My best friend and I had to get it together and she lives 4 hours away! Now I am expecting #2, while another friend is expecting her first. What does my mom do? Offers to host her shower.

My other issue...and it really bothers me...is that my sil is due the month after me. She lives in the same town as her whole family (mom, 3 adult sisters, and multiple cousins) clearly she will have a ton of support once the baby comes. I, however, live 4 hours away from my family and close friends. I asked my mom if she could come down the week of my due date to help take care of my 2 yr old, and for when i go into labor to be able to babysit for us. She says oo of course, but I am going to sil's to help take care of her older child and get used to his schedule before the baby comes so i may take a while to get there. SIL lives 6 hours away from us. There is no way she could make it in time if i went into labor. And why does my sil need my mom to learn her sons schedule a month before she gives birth, why on my due date? Her son is 5 and is in school for most of the day!!! Cant sil mom or sisters babysit?! I just want to yell at my mom "im YOUR daughter, sil has her own mom!!" I dont want my son to be spending the night with a babysitter, or have to go through labor alone because my husband is watching our son. Family is supposed to be supportive and i just feel like she doesnt care.
okay im still sad after venting.

mcgeeva · February 2014

Exactly as the other said talk to your mom. The shower is whatver at this point my mom didn't throw mine but one for sil. Who cares really. But as far as support if say I really need our help and woul really appreciate you being here instead of ds going to daycare. With that being said I am in the same situation my son is most two when this one arrives and I have daycare on call since we have no family here. My brother lives next to my parents in another state so their kid gets a ton of help. Just how it happens which sucks. So maybe it's a distance thing. I feel your pain. Def approach you need her and how much it would help without getting into a fight about what your mom does for them vs you. Never helps the situation. Good luck

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Um, it sounds like you've got an awful lot of expectations of your mom. I would talk with her candidly.

Also, I find it a little weird you assume that your mom would automatically throw you a baby shower?

softservecity · February 2014

I'm sorry your mom is making you feel that way. It would bother me too. My mother is also not very supportive and very often makes me feel like crap.

Maybe your mom is of the belief that since it's your 2nd you won't need a shower. I'm not saying I think that but I know a lot of women are of the "2nd baby shower is tacky" mindset especially if the kiddos are close in age.

Hope it gets sorted out and/or you feel better about things!

Aliki · February 2014

I think you need to get all of this off your chest and talk to your mother about it.

I fully agree with you that some of the things that have happened may have stung, but to play devil's advocate, maybe your mom is old-fashioned. By traditional etiquette, it was considered tacky for a family member to host a baby shower, especially definitely the mother of the expectant mother! It was a big no-no, so maybe that's why she didn't offer, but offered for your friend?

And secondly, I agree with others that a lot of women are of the mindset that a baby shower for #2 is a little tacky. They offered me one at my work and I vehemently said NO. It just reeks of money grabbing when you've already had a shower! C'mon

my mom makes me sad sometimes :/

Re: my mom makes me sad sometimes :/

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards