Help-Accidentally found out about "surprise" shower for me....

Peanutter&Pea · February 2014

My hubby and I were cuddling on the couch when he got an email on his phone. I glanced over and saw the subject was, "Peanutters' shower at (Restaurant) *remember its a Surprise!*" I didn't react, and just pretended I didn't see anything (he hit the home screen as soon as I looked over). I don't know the details as I only saw the subject when it popped up. I just know it was from a good friend of mine, and I am beyond thrilled she would do this for me esp as she is 3 weeks ahead of me (I'm currently 34 weeks)!

However, I am a little apprehensive about having a shower at a restaurant. I totally understand the restaurant idea, esp for her being so pregnant, but I feel a little awkward knowing about it. I am 99% sure she isn't going to cover everyone's meals, and its not a cheap place to eat.

Should I be concerned about this, or should I just keep pretending I don't know? I would totally offer to host the party at my house, but I don't want to let them know I accidentally found out, plus, I don't want to be tacky and host my own shower. I also don't want to be tacky and have my friends have to pay for food and feel they have to provide a gift too.

Do I just keep playing ignorant? What would you do?

ErikaLynn75 · February 2014

Keep pretending you don't know. While it is tacky to ask guests to pay for their own meals at a shower, nobody is going to hold it against you if you "don't know about it." It will be your friend who looks tacky. Hosting your own shower is even more tacky, and asking your friend to change all her plans at the last minute because you think she's going to do something tacky would just be rude. Stay out of it.

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Play ignorant. I hope she coughs up the dough to pay for your guests meals though.

SparkySharky · February 2014

I say stay out of it, too. You won't look tacky, b/c you're not the hostess. People will also decide for themselves what they can afford. And if it results in fewer people, don't worry about it, b/c anytime someone throws you a shower, it's something to be grateful for.

RebeccaY1 · February 2014

It's meant to be a surprise, so keep it that way.

Peanutter&Pea · February 2014

Thank you ladies. I think you're all right, I just needed some confirmation.

and I guess I hadn't thought thru the actual problem of how to try and change the circumstances.. That would be really rude of me!

ErikaLynn75 said:
and asking your friend to change all her plans at the last minute because you think she's going to do something tacky would just be rude. Stay out of it.

Can you imagine actually doing that? "Thanks for throwing me a shower, I really appreciate it, but I think you might do something wrong, so I'm going to change it."

Peanutter&Pea · February 2014

Oops, I wrote the last line, don't know how to unquote it. Sorry!

But yes, I'll be playing dumb! Better work on my surprised face. (I wont have to fake the delighted face! This shower will be a treat)

:-O

Ashleypixie · February 2014

You do nothing. Your friend, husband, and whomever else is going through the trouble of throwing this shower and keeping it a surprise. It's much more sweet than tacky. And since you don't know about it, nobody can hold it against you. It'd be far tackier to call her out on how she is going to handle the meal situation and suggest an alternative and would not be appreciative on your part. Show up, act surprised, and enjoy your friends and family.