Have you ever let a nanny go?

MickeyM04 · February 2014

How did you do it? Did you give notice or not? Does it depend on the circumstances?

Long story short, her attendance has been abysmal as of late. I don't believe she has worked a full week since the beginning of December, and my husband and I work full-time so clearly this is a problem. Then when we started looking at alternate childcare options, we found an ad she had put up on a childcare providers website indicating that she is looking for new employment (she wants to be a home daycare provider). She has done this all behind our backs whilst assuring us that she is happy with us and looking forward to the baby arriving, etc. etc. etc. My guess would be that she was planning on giving us two weeks' notice and leaving us sort of in the lurch (we are already having some difficulty finding a replacement childcare situation being that we need infant care as of August and it is SOOOO hard to find infant care in our area--6 month wait list is average).

My preference would be to let her go when we find something new, as in don't come back on Monday. My husband thinks we should give notice. It makes me uncomfortable after she's been going behind our backs looking for something else as to what else she would do behind our backs once she knew she was fired. While she's at our house she has access to our child, our financial records, etc. etc. etc. Yes, honestly part of me doesn't want to give her notice because I am pissed but part of me also doesn't want to because I no longer trust her and I especially don't trust someone who's working on borrowed time. Thoughts?

BootsOrHearts · February 2014

That's a tough situation. I would give her notice and 2 weeks of pay and tell her not to come back. That way you're being fair but you don't have to deal with her anymore. I hope you find someone better!

JulyMomma2U2 · February 2014

That sucks,, no experience.. But, could you wait until you found someone and then say hey we don't need you Monday, but here's a "severance" or something for a week or 2 (covering whatever amount ur husband thinks is appropriate).. That way she still has money coming in for a short bit, but you also eliminate the risk of having her alone in your home? Sorry I'm mobile so it's a little jumbled.. What a sucky situation.. We are just hiring a nanny now, so this scares me!

luvboston · February 2014

I would just kick her to the curb with the add you found. And get a new nanny asap. tons of great people need jobs!

martinimomma · February 2014

Oh Peanut what a pain! I'm so sorry. I agree with your concerns about having her in your house after giving notice. If possible (and assuming she is not your employee in the eyes of the law and taxing authorities with a written agreement in place) the easiest thing would probably be to have alternate arrangements lined up to start on a Monday, and at end of day the preceding Friday hand her a check for whatever outstanding pay she is owed, a copy of the ad from the Internet demonstrating that she is materially misleading you, demand your keys back, recite that her pattern of absenteeism has made the current situation no longer work and inform her that her services are no longer needed. You may also want to put the fear of lawyerly wisdom into her and have her sign a release. And no recommendation for future employers.

If she is your employee of record I'd follow whatever your written agreement says to the letter to ensure there are no lingering issues. And remember to remove her from your unemployment filings and insurance policies, etc.

Severance is really up to you (and your written agreement if you have one). Give the situation and the costs you are about to incur in time and lost productivity to find a new nanny, if you have no requirement to do so I'd give her a week max.

martinimomma · February 2014

Also, sounds like you are already in care dot com or a similar site. We found our first nanny that way. This time around we had less luck and ran out of time. So we ended up using a nanny placement service. It was pricey but we had no choice by that point. I hope you fare better! Just make sure you find someone who can take the 2 kids (and perhaps do a graduated hourly rate step up when LO arrives so you aren't paying the multiple kid premium up front). ((Hugs))

MickeyM04 · February 2014

Thanks ladies so much for your input.

We do not have a formal written agreement/taxes/etc. Plus as attorneys my husband and I know that employment agreements in this type of situation aren't really something you can enforce. Like if we require one month's notice and she gives us 1 week's notice, I mean can we take her to court, probably, but will we get anything out of it, no. So it should be "easy" in that sense to let her go because we aren't required to give her a certain amount of notice or a certain amount of severance.

That being said, even with the ad having been posted, I feel so sad and emotional about the situation. I mean she got DS a Valentine's present and wrote a really nice card about how happy she is to have him as part of her family, etc. etc. etc. And I know that she cares about him and is just trying to do what's best for her and her family rather than doing something just to spite us or screw us over, but obviously as you all know, I can't just sit here now and hope that she doesn't quit. And there's nothing she could say that would make me feel secure in the relationship anymore...like even if she said she had a bad day, and she overreacted, so she posted it, or she posted it just because she was curious what else was out there, or whatever, I still wouldn't feel comfortable. That being said, it doesn't mean that I don't like her as a person, and it certainly doesn't mean that DS doesn't ADORE her. So it just really freaking sucks.

But I am glad to know that contrary to what DH says, I'm not out of line in thinking we should just let her go (possibly with severance of some sort). Just makes me nervous. I've quit jobs before, not gotten fired, but quit, and then basically just screwed around for two weeks doing nothing, because who cares, right?

@martinimomma - when you go through a placement service, do you have to pay taxes and do everything "over the table?" I'm wondering if that would be easier but at the same time, we can't afford to do it legit either.

martinimomma · February 2014

The placement service we worked with had as its scope of work connecting us with a person that met our requirements, facilitating the background check and reference check, setting up interviews, and that's really it. The negotiations on the terms of the engagement are left up to the nanny and the family. While 100% of the candidates we met through the interwebs did NOT want to be on the books (which was a deal-breaker for us), I'd say all but one of the candidates from the placement service DID want to be on the books.

The placement service also had a 90 day replacement guarantee if anything went wrong (you could start from scratch for a new placement for no additional fee). That was important to us we don't have the luxury of tons of time to find a new person if the once we selected didn't work out.

We used North Shore Nannies (we live up north). A firm I've heard good things about in the city is Olive You Nanny. Good Luck!

MickeyM04 · February 2014

Thanks @martinimomma! We are in the western burbs, so I'll see what I can find out this way, there must be something right?? RIGHT?

Mom2anAngel2 · February 2014

I would not feel bad letting her go. I would be honest and tell her that she has not been reliable and that your work is suffering because if her. I would part ways before she decides to leave you without warning. Good luck. I hope you are able to find alternative care.

4legsRbest · February 2014

I agree with you. I would just let her know she doesn't need to come back in on Monday. I couldn't give notice to someone then continue to let them in my house and to be alone with my kid(s). No severance is needed in this case, IMO, and you can let her know a reference will not be given if you want, but I think that would be understood in the current situation.

This sucks so bad - I am sorry!

Have you ever let a nanny go?

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