Why am I so freaked out about having boy/girl twins?

ad105802 · February 2014

I found out that we are having boy/girl twins and I'm not handling it well. I feel like one of each is strange and that my babies are going to have an odd relationship. My husband and I struggled with infertility for a long time so why I'm not just thrilled to be having two babies is beyond me. I feel like a horrible person. Anyone else feel this way and if so, how have you overcome it?

TRS48 · February 2014

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. I was really hoping for boy/girl twins so I just want you to know many people consider you to be very lucky!

The few people I know that have b/g twins are very happy so maybe you will come around?

AshleighSisson · February 2014

I am also expecting boy/girl twins. I am so excited. We were shocked to find out they were twins. I am a little stressed since we have an almost 2 year old daughter and expecting 2 is a little more nerve wracking than 1. But I think once you see them you won't care about anything but how much you love them. That first moment is seriously the best. It'll all be worth it.

alohababy14 · February 2014

I am not in your situation, but I just wanted to say that my very best friends from childhood and even now in adulthood are boy/girl twins and they have an awesome relationship! They're very different and have always supported each other in their different interests. Managing expectations is hard; I'm sure like PP said that when you hold them for the first time, love will overwhelm any previous expectations.

cookieinva · February 2014

Just wanted to share that my sister has boy/girl twins my son's age so about 3.5, and they are great and don't have a weird relationship at all. I think it is in a way better than same sex twins because it makes it easier to recognizes them as individuals which is harder when they are more the same. They still share that special twin bond though. As the mom, maybe it will be nice for you to have boy stuff and girl stuff both. I think a lot of people would consider it ideal. I hope you warm up to it!

livkight · February 2014

I have cousins who are g/g twins and another set that is b/g-- they both have a lot of fun and seem to have great relationships. The g/g set did everything together-- even their college and sports. The b/g set is younger but they seem to compliment each other well- they know their strengths and differences and make a pretty awesome team. They are the only kids in the family, so of course they fight, but they really love each other.

marsalisails · February 2014

I went to college with two sets of b/g twins that were the best of friends. They had an instant friend wherever they went, and both brought in their own friends into the group as they met more people. Their personalities were different (they were in different majors), but they depended on and protected each other and had a great time. I think it would be fabulous!

iris427 · February 2014

I have a boy and a girl, not twins, but they have a great relationship so far. They love each other so much. It is just the sweetest thing. Having a sibling of the opposite sex will be what they know, so they won't think it's weird at all.

Like others said, being the same sex of your sibling is no guarantee they will be close. My husband is only a year older than his brother, and they didn't get along well as kids, and don't even speak anymore as adults.

bewilderingstar · February 2014

My brother and I are 15mos apart and were treated as if we were twins. We had a great relationship as kids and an even better one as adults!

Ylvelill · February 2014

Maybe this is out of left field... Are you concerned that they will be too close? There has been a lot of b/g twins in tv shows and movies lately that depict relationships that are less than healthy.

When I found out I was having twins it did cross my mind and I looked up if there was any factual difference in the rate of unhealthy relationships between siblings vs twins and there is not

Fictions is stranger than real life! In fact what I found was a lot of evidence pointing to the positive of having a sibling of the opposite sex when it comes to their relationships later in life.

TurtleMonsters · February 2014

I had friends that were b/g twins and they were cool with each other. FWIW, I practically lived with the boy down the street when we were kids, I enjoy playing "boy" things more then girl, so if it were me, that would work just fine. twins tend to have a special bond, anyway, so I'd be more worried about siblings of opposite sex with more years between not getting along, then twins.

the only snafu I'd see is space when they are older, as in my house they'd be sharing a room for a while and then I'd have to separate them when it was appropriate and recagigger our rooms and how they are used (aka give up my office).

Is there something specific that feels "weird" about it all to you?

lowerygirl · February 2014

I am a twin and my other half is a boy. We actually have a closer relationship then most same sex twins that we've met. We are best friends and talk several times a week. Hopefully you will overcome this and start to be excited! Good luck!

katnipeverclean · February 2014

My lil sis in my sorority is one half a boy/girl twin set and she and her twin are super close! Their relationship is so in tune and the love each other a ton!

ghostof5letters · February 2014

My mom is an identical twin and it is a warped relationship of competitiveness, insecurities, jealousy, and love

zellatrix · February 2014

Your feelings are your feelings but I imagine they will ease off and you will be happy with your little blessings just the way they are. I will say, though, that I am so jealous. I wanted twins, b/g twins actually. I just think it would be so cool. I actually made the ultrasound tech check again because I wanted two of them.

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