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June 2013 Moms
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Leaving lo for first time...

GalLauraGalLaura member
in June 2013 Moms
I have never had anyone watch or baby sit my lo yet. DH had watched him briefly if I had a hair cut or appointment but I have been gone for a short time.

My dh is the best man in a wedding this march. We plan on having my mil watch my son. I so nervous about it. Not because I don't trust her but I think lo is going to have a hard time with it. She lives about 3 hours away and so we don't see her often. Last time we saw her was Xmas since we went to the USA. I'm worried for the baby that he will be scared and upset all day. I'm dreading leaving him. Any advice?

I'm trying to pump milk and have at least 10 containers for her. I have a hard time pumping. Nothing really ever comes out unless I'm engorged. Does this seen like enough? Any advice on pumping?


I should comment that one of the reasons I've never left him is I have no family or close friends that I trust here.



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Re: Leaving lo for first time...

  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    Have someone watch your LO for a shorter amount of time before the long day with your MIL to get him used to it. Leave something that smells like you, perhaps.

    Sorry I am not that much help on this! LO goes to daycare, so he has been routinely away from us since 4.5 months and has been babysat a few times by family too.
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  • tttwalterstttwalters member
    edited February 2014
    I have a difficult time leaving my LO with anyone but my mom and I get where you are coming from. Can you start skyping regularly with your MIL, or even just put her on speaker phone when she calls so your LO can get used to hearing her voice. When my mom calls I do this and I am pretty sure WiIlliam recognizes it as a voice he knows, he smiles and babbles. Is she coming to your house, or are you taking him to her place. If it is all possible, can she come to your house? Then at least the environment is familiar. I am sure your MIL will be fine with your LO and he will do better then you think, but it is still so hard to leave them!

    As far as pumping advice, try and pump in the morning and for a minimum of 10 minutes. Also, try and relax a bit and drink lots of water. Good luck!

    eta-no idea why that first bit is highlighted...

     

     

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    I genuinely don't think kids stay upset as long as parents fear. Anytime a kid starts daycare that person is a stranger or when a new teacher starts that person is a stranger but the "shock" usually wears off literally in minutes :) You'll do great and so will lo :)
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • lioness13lioness13 member
    My only advice is to plan for your MIL to come over a few hours early so your LO has some time to warm up to her and you don't feel rushed saying goodbye. Also plan in time to get yourself ready for the wedding. My LO is normally fine after an hour of warming up. It will be fine. Good luck!
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  • benny713benny713 member
    I've only left LO with someone besides DH one time, and it was only for a couple of hours. But here is what I learned: You will experience more separation anxiety than LO will. Take deep breaths, decide you are going to relax and enjoy your day. He will probably cry when you leave initially, but he will be okay. I had my friend come over an hour before we left so DD could warm up to her. She still cried when we left, but after a minute of fussing, she forgot about it and went back to playing. I'll admit, I teared up a little when I got to the car, but once I was out, DH and I had a much needed break.

    I second the advice to have LO Skype with MIL, if possible.

    The anxiety you feel is 100% normal. Both of you will be fine and have a fun day :)
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  • kacellekacelle member
    Ugh.  No advice, but I've only left LO for a couple of hours here and there (not regularly), and we're leaving her and DD #1 for 3 weeks next month.  I keep telling myself that babies are troopers and I'm not going to permanently damage her, but I understand your stress!  
    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
    BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
    BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
    BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
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  • JessicaKSJessicaKS member
    I've left my LO with:

    Daycare five days a week
    Her dad obviously
    A babysitter
    My parents

    She has never had any negative reactions to any of it. If you treat it like no big deal then so will your kid. Also the longer you wait to leave you baby with someone the harder it will be. Little babies don't have seperation anxiety but older ones do!
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  • GalLauraGalLaura member
    My mil will come to our place to watch lo. Thanks for the advice on Skype and pumping.

    @jessicaks. I'm a SAHM so no daycare. All my family is in New Jersey and I'm living in Sydney, Australia. My DH's mom lives 3 hours away and works full time. I haven't used a baby sitter because it would be a random person which I'm not comfortable with. So this is the dilemma. I want him to be well adjusted but don't have all the support nearby.
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  • JessicaKSJessicaKS member
    @gallaura - yeah, I totally get it! I just meant that the sooner you get your LO used to spending time with other people the easier it will be for him.

    The first time we had a babysitter I was so freaked out but it's worked out great!
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