Not sure if I still belong here, update and thoughts!

77abbi77 · February 2014

Hi there!

Not sure if anyone remembers me as I don't post much but wanted to update and get your thoughts and say goodbye because I think I am moving onto 3rd party. Quick recap: 31 years old, 2 year old little girl conceived with not much trouble (clomid for the first time on 6th cycle trying). Have been trying for number 2 since november of 2012 but actually stopped breastfeeding in June of 2013. Had a few chemicals in there and was told I have .33 AMH. 3 failed iui's later went for a second opinion. He basically won't do treatment on me and said my best bet is to move to donor embryos. My first opinion has very positive things to say and says we just need to keep on trying IUI's. Problem is we are running out of funds and emotions. WHat would you do? Trust first of second opinion? IT is crazy how different they are. One doctor thinks we just need to perservere and the second feels "wrong" taking my money because he feels it probably won't work. I am ok moving to donor embryos as I feel it is a beautiful option but also have a nagging feeling that I am giving up to easy.

Sorry for the long rant but what would you guys do?

pettycrocker · February 2014

Personally I would trust a Dr telling me they don't want to take my money for this reason. I would go with the DEs. I know this is a hard decision to make, but the important thing is- if you do move forward with the IVF, you want to give yourself the best chance possible, right? I think if I felt uneasy about the DEs, I'd probably just stop TTC at that point. These are all very personal decisions to make.

Good luck with everything.

freakyfast · February 2014

I remember you and I think if you are good with DE's that might be the way to go. I would trust the doctor. Can you get another opinion? You can never have too many.

Good luck

jb2rn · February 2014

Is IVF with your own eggs an option? Yes, your AMH is poor, but how do you respond to drugs, what is your AFC, you are young so the odds are in your favor... However, if you don't want to "waste" more time and money, and the fact that you are ok with DE...it's really your call what will be best.

77abbi77 · February 2014

My AFC is pretty poor. In October it was nine and this last time it was checked it was a 7 and I already had a lead follie on day 3 that was at 12 mm already. So I think that is pretty bad news. The thing is though I respond just fine to the drugs. For my three iui's I was on low dose femora 2 times and got 3 mature follies and then 2 mature follies and then for my 3rd we tried an inject femora hybrid and I got 3 good follies for that. Not crazy good response but right where they want it. And just to clarify donor eggs IVF is not financially possible and honestly I would rather be all or nothing as far as my husband and I's genetics. The option we would pursue is donor embryos. It feels like a breath of fresh air compared to other options because I don't need meds since I am "young" and have a regular cycle. They just pop that sucker in and we wait. ALso it is pretty affordable and a much better chance of success than my own eggs. There is just a voice inside me that keeps saying "really? your just gonna roll over and give up just like that"? but I also don't want to bankrupt the beautiful family that I am blessed with just to have another child with such poor poor stats. If I did not already have a genetic child then I would fight. But since I do (thank you God) I feel like I need to put her first and I love buying her fun things and taking her fun places and that will not happen if I went for my own eggs IVF. Ugh. Secondary Infertility is it's own beast because IT is not black and white. If you don't have a child, come hell or high water you fight until you get one or at peace with not. With secondary you know you should just count your blessings and move on but it is so hard because it still hurts so bad.

Thanks for letting me just vent ladies. I think donor embryos really is a great option for us. It just feels so surreal that it has come to this. During my 3 chemical pregnancies I kept feeling like the same little baby kept trying to come home to us and it just could not get here. And I kept thinking "don't worry little baby. Mama's gonna bring you home. I just need to fight and go through some shit but I will get you in my arms". So I guess I feel like I am giving up on that sweet baby. Taking the easy way out. And having 2 different doctors with 2 different opinions does not help. Poop! I hate this stuff!

AprilDrew04 · February 2014

I personally would want a third opinion, but know that is not always possible. Sounds like you have already kinda decided you just need to get to where it feels ok. You will get there. Also wanted to add there is no rush in leaving us behind. DE is still a part of 2IF. We've had women who used both DE and surrogates on this board in the past. Stick around if you feel comfortable here.

Not sure if I still belong here, update and thoughts!

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