I feel stuck, need perspective - long

jf198400 · February 2014

First some background, I was at my first job after college for 6 years. I changed jobs Nov 2012. I really liked that job, had a great team of coworkers, but we went through a very bad acquisition in summer 2013. So I ended up changing jobs again in Nov 2013 after only a year there. I found a job close to home and jumped on the opportunity b/c I was desperate to get out of there.

So I started at my current job in Nov. They had a big reorg in Jan right after the holidays. Since then I am feeling kinda lost. My new manager and most of the team is located in France. I think they are trying to figure out what to do with me. On Friday, I got in late b/c of the snow here. I found out I was being interviewed by teleconference for a position on their team. So I had 20mins notice for an interview, great. Email from my manager today sounds like they basically expect me to take this role. Problem is I don't want it. I'd basically be working by myself and communicating by email with people in France and the Ukraine. It's not at all what I was led to expect when I was hired.

Here's my dilemma. If I try to search for a new job, I doubt anyone would hire me b/c I look like a job hopper after 2 really short term jobs. Also I would likely have a longer commute if I did get a job anywhere else. Problem #2 I am currently TTC. Also DH and I are planning on me SAH after baby3 is born.

I would Love to just quit and stay home now. But I don't think it's in the best interest of our family. We are trying to save as much money as we can to move out of our townhouse in the next 2years or so. Also DH is going to have knee surgery sometime this year and STD will only cover part of his salary so we will really need my income then.

I just really feel stuck in this sucky job. I don't know what to do and feel miserable. If you read all the way through this, thanks.

VOR · February 2014

jf198400 said:

Problem #2 I am currently TTC. Also DH and I are planning on me SAH after baby3 is born.

For this reason, I'd just stick it out. You have 2 short term jobs. Leave now for another job? that's 3 (because you hopefully won't be there too long if you get PG soon!). Now, granted, leaving in order to SAH - in a few years, if you go back into the job market, it may not really be a big deal. But at the same time... it might not sit well w/ future job prospects.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2014

I would probably accept the job and give it a try-- it might not be as bad as you are anticipating.

Also, if you are TTC now and get KU relatively quickly, you could have a baby before the end of the year, so I don't think looking for a new job/ different position would even really be realistic.

If it's really that bad, can you talk to your H about just hanging in there until his surgery?

mlee116 · February 2014

I agree with PP's. I'd just stick it out if you're planning to leave after you have Baby #3. You've already been with the company for a little while now & it'd be hard to train at a new company just to leave in (maybe) less than a year. Plus, that'd give you some time to save some $, pay off debt, etc until you're ready to quit. That said, if you are absolutely miserable/hating every minute of your life while you're at work/would rather die than be there another day, do what you need to do.

I can so relate though. I really want to SAH, even though I like my job. However, right now, its just not right. We are planning to TTC within the next few months and our goal is for me to possibly SAH after that, but we'll just have to see. We need to pay off some debt and build our savings, so I'm trying to remember that being responsible and making some sacrifices now will benefit us in the future.

mlee116 · February 2014

Sorry abt the formatting. Idk why that always happens on my posts...grr.

Iblamethebeer · February 2014

Another vote for stay. Working with a group in Europe might be nice while pregnant, though. Your phone/email will get quiet mid-afternoon and you can schedule appointments and stuff in peace.

cecilyandgautam · February 2014

I know this doesn't sound like what you had in mind but if you can tough it out, I think that will make the year to come easier on you in your personal life. If you're working remotely for a Europe based operation, you may have more flexibility in your schedule and staying in one place will give you greater job protection when you finally do take ML.

It may actually not be that bad. Maybe you can work from home a couple days a week since all your coworkers are abroad anyway. You could try to negotiate some perks to make it worthwhile for you to accept the position.

lollipoppoop · February 2014

I agree, since you are trying to conceive number 3 and will stay at home after I would accept the position and stick it out

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