XP from PAL: have you ever let a nanny go?

MickeyM04 · February 2014

How did you do it? Did you give notice or not? Does it depend on the circumstances?

Long story short, her attendance has been abysmal as of late. I don't believe she has worked a full week since the beginning of December, and my husband and I work full-time so clearly this is a problem. Then when we started looking at alternate childcare options, we found an ad she had put up on a childcare providers website indicating that she is looking for new employment (she wants to be a home daycare provider). She has done this all behind our backs whilst assuring us that she is happy with us and looking forward to the baby arriving, etc. etc. etc. My guess would be that she was planning on giving us two weeks' notice and leaving us sort of in the lurch (we are already having some difficulty finding a replacement childcare situation being that we need infant care as of August and it is SOOOO hard to find infant care in our area--6 month wait list is average).

My preference would be to let her go when we find something new, as in don't come back on Monday. My husband thinks we should give notice. It makes me uncomfortable after she's been going behind our backs looking for something else as to what else she would do behind our backs once she knew she was fired. While she's at our house she has access to our child, our financial records, etc. etc. etc. Yes, honestly part of me doesn't want to give her notice because I am pissed but part of me also doesn't want to because I no longer trust her and I especially don't trust someone who's working on borrowed time. Thoughts?

FemShep · February 2014

I would pay at least two weeks severance. And I would get a new nanny ASAP.

nosoup4u · February 2014

We did the "don't come back" option. DH worried she wouldn't take her job seriously if we had given her notice.

Our nanny was making poor choices for awhile, and then he left us in the lurch on a wednesday night - she went out of town for the weekend after telling us once weeks before, and not following up on it. I got a text from her at 9 pm, when she was at the airport. Needless to say, we put an ad up that night, and the second we were able to make arrangements for temporary care/had enough leads for a new nanny, I called her and fired her. Probably sorta mean, but it was necessary. We paid her in full for the hours she had worked.

mae0111 · February 2014

We have done the "don't come back" option. First time, I was inches from firing when the nanny told me she was "f-ing done" with us and threw her car seat at me. Basically, she got it out first and yelled louder. She had proven herself unstable enough that I wouldn't have wanted her around our kid after we gave her notice.

The second time, she was a lovely woman, but extremely absent-minded (as in, left the stove on, etc). She was also letting 3 year old DD rule the roost - determining meals, snacks, etc., DD ate nothing but grilled cheese and candy. We let her go with no notice because we didn't think she could hold it together for 2 weeks. We did pay her 3 weeks severance, though.

Good luck. This isn't easy...

ebp913 · February 2014

I have done and will continue to do 2 weeks paid severance and they don't come back. I am just uncomfortable with a fired childcare provider coming back to keep my kids.

MickeyM04 · February 2014

Thanks ladies. I do like the idea of giving her severance and not having her come back--basically the same difference as doing a two-week notice sort of arrangement, insofar as the only difference is she gets paid without coming back. It just rubs me the wrong way to have someone in my house and with my child all day that has no motivation to do a good job, and in all likelihood is probably pissed at us for letting her go.

82Sonia · February 2014

I agree with PPs. Give her severance but tell her not to come back.

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XP from PAL: have you ever let a nanny go?

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