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nwmr what do you think of this debate b/w MH & I

groovygrlgroovygrl member
edited February 2014 in Working Moms
Eh, I just edited this but basically, would you go outside & shovel if your two four yr olds were in bed? My suggestion was related to a neighbor's driveway, which is very close to our house, closer to front door than our own driveway. MH's response was that would make us "the worst parents in the world" and "that is against the law".  I felt that was a bit extreme though obviously I get discomfort with leaving them in the house if we're outside and we ended up not doing it b/c we decided 9pm was too late to go shovel the neighbor's driveway.  I guess my question would be how would that be any worse than being on a back deck or patio in the summer? Our kids are old enough to come downstairs to the door if they need us (they're 4) so it wouldn't be a matter of them being stuck up in a crib crying or something. 
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Re: nwmr what do you think of this debate b/w MH & I

  • thedashthedash member
    Do you still have a monitor set up? Ours works pretty far out into our front yard and that way I would probably hear them if they got up or called for me.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
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  • Jenn06L80Jenn06L80 member
    Well my DH did this the other day while I was working.  He shoveled for close to an hour, while DD was inside watching Mickey.  I was at work.  I wasn't very happy with him. He kept the door open so he could look in on her and she could look out.  

    I would have been more comfortable if he shoveled while she was napping and took a monitor outside.  

    Ella - 10/19/10
    Julia and Aubrey - 4/3/14


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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited February 2014
    No we don't use a monitor ,they're practically 5 (this summer). Funny, he seemed more uncomfortable w/ them being asleep and b/c it was nighttime, but I agree that being awake seems like it would have more potential for problems (which is what I actually did one day too, I had to shovel before work & they were inside, but I also went in like every 5 minutes or so to make sure they were ok and they were sitting there the whole time.)
    Sure, it is not ideal, but I don't think it makes anyone 'the worst' parent. God knows we knew ppl in our last neighborhood who used to put kids to bed & take the monitor to a neighbor's house to hang out, which we found to be pretty risky and wouldn't personally do it.
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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    Totally agree VOR. He just made me feel so badly for even suggesting that we both be right outside our house w/ the kids inside that I thought maybe I was being crazy.
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  • shannmshannm member
    edited February 2014
    I would do it. They're four, not a two year old who is new to a standard bed and wobbly on the steps. Unless you would suspect that they would get into trouble, I would have no problem with it. I shovel and do yard work all the time when my kids are inside. My son can get me if he needs to and I put the baby monitor just outside our front door if DD is napping. No big deal.
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  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I have had to leave my 2yr old and 3yr old alone inside awake to go out and shovel, they usually get into trouble (steal a box of popcorn and eat it) but for the most part they are okay. They too can open the front door and call for me if needed. It's not ideal and i wouldn't do it if I didn't have to. This winter has been absolutely crazy and there's just not much I can do about it. If they were asleep I wouldn't even think about it.
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  • mrsseguinmrsseguin member
    I wouldn't even think twice about it, especially if they were sleeping. 
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  • fitmom82fitmom82 member
    mine are 1 and 3, I'd shovel if they were both sleeping.  I'd also shovel if the LO was napping, I just don't trust them inside, unsupervised, together, or DS, the 1 year old, alone by himself.  DD knows to get me if she needs me, she also knows how to get just about anything she needs on her own.  I trust her inside alone if I'm right outside.  I'd definitely check on her every 5 minutes or so though.
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  • C12H22O11C12H22O11 member
    I have zero issue leaving DS alone inside the house, either awake or asleep, while DH and I do yard work. We tell him where we will be, that he's free to join us, and if he needs something, to come get us. It's never been an issue, but I would imagine a lot of if might depend on the maturity of the child.

    Ethan Michael - 12/21/09
    Norah Jewel - 2/26/14

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  • daisy662daisy662 member
    I am admittedly overprotective and I would go shovel if my kids were asleep. But, I live in Florida LOL!
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  • IblamethebeerIblamethebeer member
    Sometimes my DH gets all up in arms about the kids' safety when it's the easiest way to get him out of something he doesn't want to do (he's an introvert, so this usually looks like suggesting we skip a party because someone sneezed or a flake of snow fell).

    I feel your pain, OP. 
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  • mexicolombianamexicolombiana member
    I would definitely do it if they were sleeping. 




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  • MammaBear81MammaBear81 member
    Forget sleeping, DH has put a show on in the play room (there is a gate) and gone outside to shovel the driveway.  It's a rare occurrence that both of us are home at the same time (and at the right time) to get the driveway shoveled before it turns to ice.
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    VOR said:

    What do you think single parents do?  Stay snowed in indefinitely?  I'm serious.

    While not a single parent, my DHs job is one where when he's working, it's technically 24/7.  Unless I wanted to be truly stuck IN the house for 48 hours, I had no choice but to go out and snowblow/shovel while DS was inside playing.  No one else was going to do it for me!

     

    At 4 or 5 (which DS is), I really am not concerned.  If he were younger, like 2 or 3, then I'd have had to figure out other options.  But as it stands - he was fine, the driveway and sidewalks got plowed, and we're good. 

    I have to run downstairs (I live on the 3rd floor) to take the trash out and bring up groceries on a regular basis with DS upstairs in the apartment alone. I prefer to do it when he's asleep, but sometimes I have to when he's awake.

    If I had to shovel snow and I lived in a house, I would probably go the door-open route like PP's H did, so I could look in every so often. You do what you gotta do.




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  • wychetswychets member
    I would.
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    We sit on the back porch pretty often while DD sleeps upstairs.  Clearly, the house is locked up and we do bring the monitor outside.  Luckily it doesn't snow where we live, but I wouldn't think twice about shoveling outside while the LO's sleep.  I would bring a monitor and just do it.  Your DH is overreacting. 

    My husband has deployed 6 times though, so sometimes I do play the single parent role and it is what it is. 

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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member
    VOR said:

    What do you think single parents do?  Stay snowed in indefinitely?  I'm serious.

    While not a single parent, my DHs job is one where when he's working, it's technically 24/7.  Unless I wanted to be truly stuck IN the house for 48 hours, I had no choice but to go out and snowblow/shovel while DS was inside playing.  No one else was going to do it for me!

     

    At 4 or 5 (which DS is), I really am not concerned.  If he were younger, like 2 or 3, then I'd have had to figure out other options.  But as it stands - he was fine, the driveway and sidewalks got plowed, and we're good. 

    Agree. At 4-5 both DH, or I would agree to leave the kid inside, occupied or preferably sleeping. This year I have been travelling for work all of January and February so DH is a single parent during the week. DD is only 20months. For this reason we chose to pay for snow plowing and shoveling for our driveway and walkways so that DH wouldn't be in this situation. He does however still have to go out in the morning to clear his truck off and DD is still sleeping. When that happens he usually take our monitor, but I don't thin it is necessary since she still sleeps in a crib that she can't get out of yet :)
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