how to handle this situation....

Mattingly23 · February 2014

so we are naming our son something that we love but is somewhat unique. My parents have no tact whatsoever and can be pretty rude at times, and DH is concerned they will say somethign super rude when they hear his name and hurt my feelings. I told him it wont bother me because if they have the balls to criticize their new grandson's name the first time they see him, they are a-holes and I dont care what they say. The truth is that whatever they say will probably end up stinging, but I dont exactly know what to say if they say something rude. I think DH would be ready to throw them out of the hospital room if they have the gall to say something rude to us, but I obviously dont want to go that drastic.... any ideas? BTW, In my opinion it doesnt matter what we name him, we could call him Pumpkinhead McGee, they should keep their negative opinions to themselves.

Mattingly23 · February 2014

No I totally get it and understand that the rest of the world wont always appreciate his name like we do. We think its awesome and have put a lot a lot of thought into it. Its not actually that crazy a name, its just a little different. There's a difference between a stranger saying "oh wow, thats unique" I dont care what people think, I am just trying to mentally prepare myself for my parents to say something that is actually mean and uncalled for. As I said, this is their first grandson, and it shouldnt matter what his name is, they should keep it to themselves. Our daughter has a unique name, and I loooooove it, she fits it so well, and actually I've been pleasantly surprised that pretty much everyone we come into contact with compliements it.

ErikaLynn75 · February 2014

Would it help to tell your parents the name you've chosen before the birth? That way you can deal with it at a time when you have better control over your emotions, and if they are so rude that your husband feels like he needs to ask them to leave, it won't be as big of a deal as if it happens in the hospital room.

Mattingly23 · February 2014

ErikaLynn75 said:

Would it help to tell your parents the name you've chosen before the birth? That way you can deal with it at a time when you have better control over your emotions, and if they are so rude that your husband feels like he needs to ask them to leave, it won't be as big of a deal as if it happens in the hospital room.

I have actually thought of that, but then there's the added fun of hearing about it for the next five weeks

I feel like knowing my mom, she will have less to say when he's actually here- if that makes any sense. I think she might (MIGHT) think more to bite her tongue once he's here, but I'm never sure how they will react! So basically I'd rather hear one rude comment in the hospital then five weeks of rude comments until he gets here

Mattingly23 · February 2014

Idani said:

Ok according to your previous posts it is Maverick. You stated you think it is "awesome" well that is the exact impression it gives. THe parents want their kid to sound awesome. You need to decide if hearing that and your family hating it trumps the positive association you seem to find in it. In general and to the majority this name will be lumped into the "trying to be cool" category.

as I said, DH and I dont care what everyone else thinks about it. We have put a lot of thought into it, and love it. I am just trying to figure out what to say to my parents, who I can almost guarantee will make a very rude and hurtful comment to us. I wasnt going to mention the name because I didnt want the post to become about everyone else's opinion on the name, rather just how to deal with this specific scenario.

ErikaLynn75 · February 2014

I would wait until a week before my due date, and then call my mom and say "I'm telling you now, so that if you have something negative to say you can get it off your chest now without ruining my son's birth day." Then tell her, brace myself for her comments, and let her know her opinion isn't going to change anything.

Do you have a sibling you could talk to about it? Maybe you could enlist the help of a sister to say to your mom "Mattingly said she chose an unusual name and she's worried you'll say something insensitive when you hear it" and it will help your mom remember to keep her mouth shut.

Rrrrrachel · February 2014

My mom has hated all the grand kid names. All of them. There are soon to be nine. And some are a little out there but some are very normal names. I'm not telling her this baby's name until it's born, because she always always changes her mind once she gets to know and see the baby.

Ashleypixie · February 2014

I can relate. My mom was a kindergarten teacher, and every name we considered my mom had a kid in her class that she didn't particularly like, so she always had a comment about it. We liked name Freya but she said it sounded too "black." (She is not someone I would even associate with if she were not my mother, believe me) Which is weird, since her grandparents came here from Norway, and Freya is Nordic. Knowing how she is was all I needed to prepare for her negative reaction, so I didn't let it disappoint me. If you're telling your parents in the hospital, after he is born, they may have the tact to keep it to themselves. If they do say something just stop them and say, "we didn't consult you beforehand because we love this name, and this is what his name will be." And repeat it until they STFU.

Mattingly23 · February 2014

Ashleypixie said:

I can relate. My mom was a kindergarten teacher, and every name we considered my mom had a kid in her class that she didn't particularly like, so she always had a comment about it. We liked name Freya but she said it sounded too "black." (She is not someone I would even associate with if she were not my mother, believe me) Which is weird, since her grandparents came here from Norway, and Freya is Nordic. Knowing how she is was all I needed to prepare for her negative reaction, so I didn't let it disappoint me. If you're telling your parents in the hospital, after he is born, they may have the tact to keep it to themselves. If they do say something just stop them and say, "we didn't consult you beforehand because we love this name, and this is what his name will be." And repeat it until they STFU.

OMG, THIS!!

MadBloom · February 2014

Meh, you shouldn't care what they think. My parents are not in love with the names we have picked out for our LO. (Team Green) But we love them and I know that as soon as they see their first grandbaby they wont even remember that they were not fans of the name in the beginning. PS. my names are Felix John and Penelope Marie. Neither are super mainstream right now and that's ok. I love them.

cMichelle0423 · February 2014

You can always be honest and tell your parents that if they don't have anything positive to say then you'd appreciate it if they didn't say anything?

akflutterby · February 2014

My husband and i picked out the baby's name before we even conceived and have been getting all kinds of flack from our kids ever since. We love the name so much (and it was the only one that we agreed on) so we make sure to remind family that when they have/had their kids they get/got to name themwhatever they want/ed and now it's our turn. I also have a great niece who's name i don't like so we came up with a nickname we agreed on. No hurt feelings, but levels of compromise to not deal with attitude.

Avion22 · February 2014

ErikaLynn75 said:

Do you have a sibling you could talk to about it? Maybe you could enlist the help of a sister to say to your mom "Mattingly said she chose an unusual name and she's worried you'll say something insensitive when you hear it" and it will help your mom remember to keep her mouth shut.

This. Or any other relative who can run interference. I know an adult shouldn't have to be reminded that if they don't have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all....but I think we all know that's too good to be true :-)

Excitedmum35 · February 2014

DS's name is zephyr. We love it. Plenty of ppl probably don't- but whatever.
My answer to your situation?
Grow some balls!!!!
Also u will be so happy when u have LO who cares what anyone says.

nstecklein · February 2014

If it is maverick you can add a vote to the love it section! We are going with an odd boy name too , Coe, but my husband came up with it and love it so much we are hoping its a boy just so we can use the name!

RebeccaY1 · February 2014

We're giving our child a unique first name and I'm worried about comments too. As much as I worry about rudeness I'm not afraid to tell people they are being butt holes.

Empireceo · February 2014

This is why I don't share names before the kid is born with friends and family. We like offbeat names and people are much less likely to be rude about them when they are attached to an actual person, not jus theoretical. Still, if you're the kind of person who worries what other people will say or about the kid being made fun of or something, choose something else.

awc1986 · February 2014

This thread should give you an idea of how the name will go down in public. If you can cope with the opinions in here then great. Put your child first though and think about how they'll get on at school, work, socially with that name. Something that may sound "awesome" to the parents might sound ridiculous to a future employer. Sorry to be a boring Betty, but we had the same debate over this LO.

KateLouise · February 2014

They'll always be someone who doesn't like your kids name. My Mum obviously didn't care for my DD1's name. Her name is Elizabeth, which I get isn't to everyone's taste, but there's nothing outlandish about it.

Anyway my Mum kept saying things like, "you don't have to commit to a name just yet." "you can always change your mind" etc etc etc. Where we are you have up to 12 weeks to file the paperwork on your baby after they are born. We had her name picked before we left the birth centre so went ahead and filed, but we heard those comments a lot over those 2 days.

If you love it great. Personally I think Maverick sounds like a dog. But it's not my kid, and it's not your Mum's kid. Go with what you love.

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