i wish someone would have told me this...

jonahsma · February 2014

I wish someone would have told me what to expect after a loss, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. This is just my point of view.

1. That they dont give you a stillbirth certificate if youve had a d and e.

2. That they could give me the babys ashes if i wanted them.

3. That i could get a lock of hair or footprints.

4. That my body would react as if i had given birth to a live baby and that my milk would come in. (complete torture)

5. That my whole body would be in physical pain for weeks due to depression.

6, That i would feel my baby kicking even though my womb was empty.

7.. That i would feel as if i am going to die.

8.. That my heart would feel as if it were empty.

9. That I would fear leaving my home because i dont want to see any pregnant woman or newborn.

10. That i would lose my friends when i needed them the most.

11. That everyone else would move on a lot quicker than I would.

12. That my faith would be tested way beyond words.

13. the loss of a child will turn my life upside down more than I would have ever imagined..

again this is just my point of view.. my feelings

kflynn81 · February 2014

((hugs)) I feel the same about a lot of your points there.

veetveet · February 2014

I have a lot of the same feelings.

Right now I am so angry I physically feel the need to kick and punch things.

And I hate almost everyone. Baby, or no baby.

jonahsma · February 2014

i have come to the conclusion that GRIEF is unpredictable....

I could say Im doing great one minute and the next im a hot mess

I could wake up energetic one day and the next day struggle to get out of bed.

Some how and some way we will get through this

kflynn81 · February 2014

jonahsma said:

i have come to the conclusion that GRIEF is unpredictable....

I could say Im doing great one minute and the next im a hot mess

I could wake up energetic one day and the next day struggle to get out of bed.

Some how and some way we will get through this

I agree.... I equated it to a ferris wheel. Around and around you go.

VyD81 · February 2014

Hugs, i can relate to how you feel.

MCH77 · February 2014

I understand way too many of those points. ((Hugs))

stefuge · February 2014

Everything you have said is so true. It is so hard to describe to someone who hasn't been here. You've been in my thoughts and prayers this week - I hope next week is better. ((hugs))

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

Yes. I have felt everything on your list. You are not alone.

jonahsma · February 2014

@stefuge I wanted to thank you for making your blog public.. I'm sure it will impact many women who have gone through a loss and thank you for praying for me. I admire your faith in God I draw strength in how strong you are. God is using you girly.. I will continue praying for you and your family... ((big hugs))

rrive008 · February 2014

you're not alone. I could've written some of those points myself.

Maybe Joleisa · February 2014

Those are great points. I also wish someone would have told me about the fear in grief. (Fear that I will lose my husband next.)

schulme2 · February 2014

So true! I think we have all felt most of these at some point.

stefuge · February 2014

Ah, thanks @jonahsma. ((Bug hugs)) to you too!

veetveet · February 2014

Maybe Joleisa said:
Those are great points. I also wish someone would have told me about the fear in grief. (Fear that I will lose my husband next.)

Yes, had this too.

Mrodriguez898 · February 2014

I am so sorry. Just know you are not alone.
I thought the very same thing when it began with me

ikrystal · February 2014

veetveet said:

I have a lot of the same feelings. Right now I am so angry I physically feel the need to kick and punch things. And I hate almost everyone. Baby, or no baby.

Ditto this. I went through the whole crying every day stage and now I'm just pissed off. And I've felt and gone through every single one of those 13 points... sometimes all in one day, and sometimes in phases.

Heatherhah · February 2014

It has been over 2 years for me and while all of those points were exactly how I felt for so very long. I promise you it does get a little easier to just be. Now looking back I have no idea how I survived and how I could be almost 2 years and 5 months further away from when I held her. Hugs to all of you ladies!!!