Gratitude: Considerate friends (BFP mentioned, not mine)

DharmaChick · February 2014

I know that we have all had some friends/family who are clueless and/or inconsiderate when it comes to IF, and have recently venting about those who make the top of the list. There are only about 3 or 4 people who know that we are trying/having difficulty TTC, but I definitely mentioned one (in that thread) who seems to get under my skin the most.
However, I just wanted to express some gratitude for those who are sensitive to this issue and who handle it well!

This surfaced with me this week, when I received a message from a friend who I was going to visit. She emailed me to let me know that she just found out that she was expecting again, and wanted me to know in advance of the visit so that I wasn't blindsided by someone accidentally mentioning it. She even indicated that I didn't need to respond to her message in any way, and hoped that it wouldn't put a damper on the visit, but that she wanted to give me time to process the news on my own. She closed with saying that she is hoping that we have some happy news of our own soon.

I found this to be very thoughtful, and was so grateful that she gave me this news in the way that she did. She acknowledged that we were struggling, but in no way was rubbing her good news in my face. I am honestly happy for her, and so grateful that she approached this in the way that she did!

My best friend has also been great about things, even though I can tell that she is uncertain about how to approach the topic. She hasn't initiated any conversations about it, but knows when to reach out to let me vent a little (I generally keep things bottled up unless someone asks if I'm ok). She has been my cheerleader in times of doubt.

A third friend was someone who I was not very close with, but who has gone through all of this herself (PCOS, like me), and was struggling for a long time with TTC. She has since had success (via IVF), and is a bit of an inspiration that there is "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. She checks in from time to time, and is the only one I know (in person) who fully understands.

As always, this board is the best. I am so glad that we can be there for each other!

Ok, (possibly hormone-driven) gushy moment, sorry! Anyone else feeling thanks for family/friends while TTC?

kallygirlie · February 2014

Is it bad I want to hug your friend? LOL!! I literally sat here and cried (at work) when I read this. Lets right that off as hormones HAHA!! That is so awesome tho. Those friends are so rare and I applaud her for being sensitive to you. People act as if being sensitive is to much of a stretch, like we are asking them to move the world or something. My DH and I are very open about our IF and trust me, those friends are sooooooooooooooooooo far and few.

ebwhit · February 2014

You're so lucky to have some good friends in your life!

jaztastic · February 2014

I agree its easy for us to name and call out people who are jerks, but acknowledging the good ones is equally as important. Im still "In the closet" for the most part but a few people do know. I have one friend in particular who doesnt have any IF issues, and she is the best. She recently moved out of state and I called her crying because I wasnt sure i could go through another cycle without her. She actually offered to come in town for a week to be with me. She has a DH, 2 small children, and a full time job. Yet she was willing to come be here for me. I text/call/email her way too often. Im so grateful to have her in my life. She is willing to be my surrogate if we get to that point.

Thanks for starting such a positive thread.

RunCC37 · February 2014

That is beautiful that you have such an understanding IRL support system!

I am thankful for my IRL friends and family who are there for me with understanding and empathy. It makes this all a little more tolerable when you realize that you are loved

AlanaN2010 · February 2014

Thanks for sharing. It's easy to feel frustrated with people's insensitive comments and forget about all the great support out there. My family has been much better now that they know. I went to a shower this weekend and not a single "you're next" which is all I really wanted from them.

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Gratitude: Considerate friends (BFP mentioned, not mine)

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