Telling people about your pregnancy

Amead1012 · February 2014

When is a good time to let people know when your pregnant? If people ask are you supposed to tell them the truth before you announce it?

spinsemeyer · February 2014

The risk of miscarriage actually drops a LOT by 8 weeks and is pretty steady through the rest of pregnancy. Lots of people wait til second trimester but I'm not sure why, if you've seen a heartbeat at your first appointment you are about as safe as you can be.

12bailey18 · February 2014

I've told close friends as it's come up in conversation. (For example, I was training for a half marathon before pregnancy so I'll mention it when they ask me how training is going.) I told my mom and brother right away. We'll announce it on social media after our first apt. at 10 weeks. I feel weird lying or hiding it to people but I also feel weird just blurting it out. So, I just mention it as something related comes up.

Sofia2529 · February 2014

There's no right or wrong answer as it's a matter of what you're comfortable with. For me, that means waiting as long as possible. For you, that might mean right after you receive a positive pregnancy test.

If people ask before you're ready to announce, you're under no obligation to tell them the truth.

normandyn7 · February 2014

Me personally, I didn't announce until after our 12 week ultrasound. If something were to happen to my son then I wouldn't want to have to explain to a bunch of people 5 thousand times or make a huge announcement about it.

We told close family and friends when we found out (4 weeks) and announced on Facebook at 12 weeks. That's just me.

I understand where some woman would want the support but one of my friends told everyone at her work (in a restaurant) that she was pregnant when she was 5 weeks and before going to the doctor. Well she ended up having an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby and weeks later, people who hadn't worked in a while, were asking her about the baby and she would have breakdowns every time. That's why I wouldn't tell everyone that early. But it's a personal decision so do what you feel comfortable with!

Edit because it's too early for me to be typing.

ang2016 · February 2014

I told my 2 best girl friends and my mom within a couple weeks... 11 weeks now we've told my family and a couple more friends. I'm in no rush to announce on facebook!

edit: typo

Cat&S · February 2014

We told in stages. We told our families at 6 weeks, close friends and coworkers at 9 weeks (after a great u/s where we saw the hb), and I announced on fb last Friday at 13 weeks. It's different for everybody...I'm fairly open in general, and many people knew we were trying, so it wasn't a surprise.

bohemianlc · February 2014

theresat858 said:

When you let people know you're pregnant is a personal decision. There is a risk of loss at any time in a pregnancy, but it decreases significantly by the start of 2nd tri.

I think a good general rule is that if you would tell someone if you had a miscarriage and you would want their support (and they can keep their mouth shut to others), then it is perfectly fine to tell them as early as you want. If it is someone you would be less comfortable opening up to about a loss, then wait until at least 2nd tri.

I announce in stages - first to find out are my very close friends and my parents; after we see a heartbeat, I am comfortable telling the rest of my family (only 6 other people - my bro & SIL, aunt, uncle, cousins). I plan to tell work after the NT scan around 12 weeks - and thats when I would tell most of my IRL acquaintances. I don't announce to the world on facebook until after the anatomy scan at 18-20 weeks.

This is exactly what my husband and I are doing. I am about 10 weeks and we have told our parents and our best friends, but that's it. We are waiting until we hit the second trimester to tell the rest of our loved ones.

cMichelle0423 · February 2014

Only you can answer this. You tell people when you're ready. If you tell people before the 2nd tri, you run the risk of having to explain a mc if of forbid that were to happen. Like other posters have said, the risk drops a lot once you're in your 2nd tri, but hey, if you want to share the news before hand, go for it.

MMason12 · February 2014

This is a very personal decision. It is all about what you feel comfortable with.

The first time around we told our parents a little over 6 weeks and then went public to everyone else (including a Facebook announcement) a day or two after 7 weeks. We found out a little over 9 weeks that we had a mmc and lost of LO at 7w4d. We had to "un-tell" everyone at that point. Although we liked having the support of our family and friends there a lot of people who have a very hard time with having to un-tell people. Also, not everyone will find out. Example: In mid-January-- before we found out we were expecting again -- we ran into two of my parents friends who asked us how the pregnancy and baby were doing and we had to explain that we had a miscarriage.

Now, we come to this time around. We told our parents at 7 weeks exactly and two of our closest friends know. Other than that we haven't told anyone -- not even my husband's parents -- yet. We will tell his parents late next week after our third ultrasound if everything looks okay; and we will be 9w2d at that point. We will then go public and make a big announcement once we hit 13 weeks on Facebook. About an hour before we go "public" we will call our grandparents and siblings and tell them.

When you tell people is really up to you. I have friends who post their BFP on Facebook the instant they get them and I have friends who didn't announce until they were 20-22 weeks. Tell people when you want to tell people. If people ask and you aren't ready to tell them yet, then lie. It's really no one elses business until you are ready to tell people.

barely · February 2014

theresat858 said:

The risk of miscarriage actually drops a LOT by 8 weeks and is pretty steady through the rest of pregnancy. Lots of people wait til second trimester but I'm not sure why, if you've seen a heartbeat at your first appointment you are about as safe as you can be.
False. The NT scan can tell you a lot more than a heartbeat, and isn't done until 12-13 weeks

@theresat858 where are you getting this from? Surely you can get much more info from an NT scan, but research does show that the chances of miscarriage drop significantly after a heartbeat is detected. Google it.

"Research has shown that if you see a heartbeat at 6 weeks of pregnancy, the chances of the pregnancy continuing are 78%.

A heartbeat at 8 weeks increases the chance of a continuing pregnancy to 98% and at 10 weeks that goes up to 99.4%." (miscarriage association)

The percentages vary a little, but I have found several credible websites that will back this up.

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