so mad at DH

CaitlinMC21 · February 2014

DS is 15 months old, teething really badly, I'm 26.5 weeks pregnant, already stressed to the max over a lot of stuff. DH decided last night was the time to start Operation: No More Binkie, without discussing it with me first. We haven't weaned him at all, other than just as naps and bedtime (grandparents haven't followed through). And guess who has had to deal with the screaming boy last night at bedtime (for 2 hours!) and now today (up since 4 and not looking like it's going to get better!)

Anyone else quit the binkie cold turkey? And how did your LO manage it? I've been crying since last night, felt like I was having contractions for a short period of time, and now I feel like I have period cramps.

Thanks jerk!! You decide to do this on a whim on a night you have to work the next day...

oscarwao · February 2014

Why are you the one getting up at night if he decided to take the binkie away and you weren't a part of that decision? The face that he has to work the next day seems irrelevant to me - he wants to commit to the cold turkey approach, he primarily deals with it.

Chellbell20 · February 2014

DD only took her's at bed and nap when we quick cold turkey at 11months. She cried a little while going to sleep for a couple nights and then was fine. However I think this is a bigger issue than a crying child, this is a decision for both parents to make. Also, if your DH is the one that wanted it taken away then he needs to help at bedtime and the middle of the night.

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

I don't have any advice on the binkie weaning since DS really never took one, but this sounds like a major DH fail and I would be PISSED. No major parenting decisions should be made alone and especially not with some forethought about how/when it should happen. I'd really lay into him when he got home if I were you!

Snowflake312 · February 2014

Yikes, sorry I have no experience, but I'm sure it sucks feeling sleep deprived. A friend once told me that if you make a hole in the pacifier, sometimes they don't want it anymore. Good luck, I would be pissed too.

sisterjanet · February 2014

1. That was a dick move on his part, both for starting this without both of you agreeing ahead of time and for not helping at night.

2. What on earth is a binky?

kat8805 · February 2014

We didn't go cold turkey. We went to just naptime and bedtime. They kept disappearing or getting torn up, and eventually there were no more. We talked with DD every time one more went missing/she chewed one up, so she understood that the end was coming soon. She took it pretty well. She had already learned to sleep without them because more often than not, through the night, she would end up dropping it out of the crib anyways. She would fuss a bit, but we let her CIO and back to sleep she went. Some mornings we would find her sleeping with her arm stuck through the bars like she had fallen asleep attempting to get her passy.

rainydayluck · February 2014

We cut it out around 2.5 years old. We took DD to build a bear and let her build a bear and put the pacifier inside. The first couple nights were tear filled, but it got better. Just make sure the house is empty of pacifiers so LO doesn't find them or you don't give in.

CaitlinMC21 · February 2014

We had mentioned starting to take it away.. I thought give it to him at bedtime only. And DS usually doesn't need it all night, it's mostly just to fall asleep. I end up finding them under the crib in the morning. So he probably thought he was being punished.

DH helped initially last night, we took turns when we first put him to bed. I stay at home and we've had a system in place where if it's a work night and DS wakes in middle of night, I'm the one to get up. So i get to deal with him during the day for naps too.

I agreed to start taking it away more (which is what I thought DH meant). I was not on board with cold turkey!

CaitlinMC21 · February 2014

It must be where I'm from but we've always called pacifiers "binkies". My mom called them that when I was a baby.

MissLadyTay · February 2014

We quit the pacifier cold turkey the day my son chewed the end off of one. He was about your son's age, maybe a little older. I was horrified that he could have choked to death on it and we threw them all away immediately.

It was hard but in the end it worked out. It was a few days of crying and then he was okay. We really pushed a particular lovey/stuffed animal on him as a comfort object and that helped a lot.

Glitterlicious · February 2014

With my niece-my SIL cut a slit in the binky, and it wasn't suctioning properly and she kind of stopped using it as much. Then a week later-"the binky fairy" came-took the binky, gave it to a little baby who needs one, and left her a surprise toy instead. Maybe try this approach? Good luck!

likeabel · February 2014

I have no experience with this since i'm a FTM. But, my mom pinned it to a large pillow. If you wanted it, you had to drag the pillow around and we all gave it up pretty quickly. Good luck with DS and DH!

CaitlinMC21 · February 2014

I know the cold turkey approach is the only method for some people. He tried to give him one with the tip cut off but that just made DS more mad. I told DH, those things are what you try first! Not after you already started doing it cold turkey!

I guess for me it was just more stressful because what mama wants to hear her child cry and scream. And I'm hormonal already. I went and shut myself in the bathroom and took a bath when it was going down last night. I told DH that it was his idea, so he gets to listen to him on the monitor and can check on him if he wants but I need to de-stress.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

Because I'm also sleep deprived and exhausted as fuck, (Full moon with an autistic child) I'm more inclined to flame your H. Parenting decisions like this need to be made as a team, especially when you're doing late weaning of the paci. I'm a bitch, I would have handed the paci back and told my H that we'd discuss it, come up with a plan and THEN carry that plan out. That is some shit and I'd be livid. Especially since he basically made the decision and then left you to deal with the fall out. Eff that dude.

My H is a deep sleeper and never wakes up in the middle of the night. I have been the night person since day one. That being the case, he has never had any say over anything that affects my night time with Asher.

Mittens14 · February 2014

We allowed DS to only use it at nap time and bedtime and then took it away at naptime (which he was at daycare for anyway), once he got used to that we took it away at bedtime and had absolutely no issues whatsoever, but he was 2 at the time, so I think he was outgrowing it anyway.

boymum2014 · February 2014

One day we introduced the pacifier fairy. We let her gather all binkies in a box& put it under her crib,then at nap the paci fairy took the box & left a present (doctor play stuff) it worked great.

meli1025 · February 2014

I did it when DS was closer to two, and when he asked for it I told him we lost it and that was that. It did impact his sleep for a bit but he was back to normal in no time. Sorry you're dealing with this now, that would piss me off if DH started it and left it up to me to deal with getting up.

eghulse · February 2014

When it turned into a toy we started taking it away, with the exception of naps and bedtime. DS is 19 months. I'm afraid to take it away at sleepy times. I'm hoping to have him off of it by the time this LO gets here, and if I manage that I'll be happy.

CaitlinMC21 · February 2014

He wanted to wean him off a few months ago but I told him that he's not the one that deals with DS at night or during the day. I am. And I wasn't okay with it then. I told him I was willing to do the weaning now (only at naps and bedtime, then take away naps, etc.). I also told him that since DS has such an attachment to it now is rather wait til he's a little older so I can try other methods (binkie fairy, cutting the tip off, etc.). DH wasn't on board with that and I wasn't about to continue arguing with him about it.

I told him he's lucky that DS slept from 9-4 last night without waking, because if he didn't sleep well he was going to have an even shittier day!

hfooter · February 2014

All this talk about turkey has helped me figure out what to eat for lunch. Thanks ladies!

reneewhite90 · February 2014

kitchencolors said:

hfooter said:

All this talk about turkey has helped me figure out what to eat for lunch. Thanks ladies!

Oh noes!!! Not the lunch meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My kid may not be getting essential vitamins, but you're really screwing yours over... I feel better now.

hfooter · February 2014

jkanter107 said:

kitchencolors said:

hfooter said:

All this talk about turkey has helped me figure out what to eat for lunch. Thanks ladies!

Oh noes!!! Not the lunch meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel TURRIBLE for your baby!!!

Well in my "community" we only eat what the land has given and believe that god put it there for that reason. So it HAS to be safe.

So I'm also gonna sprinkle some opium on it too, for flavoring. It goes real nice with mayo.

reneewhite90 · February 2014

hfooter said:

jkanter107 said:

kitchencolors said:

hfooter said:

All this talk about turkey has helped me figure out what to eat for lunch. Thanks ladies!

Oh noes!!! Not the lunch meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel TURRIBLE for your baby!!!

Well in my "community" we only eat what the land has given and believe that god put it there for that reason. So it HAS to be safe.

So I'm also gonna sprinkle some opium on it too, for flavoring. It goes real nice with mayo.

You must be delivering at that hippie farm...

hfooter · February 2014

reneewhite90 said:

hfooter said:

jkanter107 said:

kitchencolors said:

hfooter said:

All this talk about turkey has helped me figure out what to eat for lunch. Thanks ladies!

Oh noes!!! Not the lunch meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel TURRIBLE for your baby!!!
Well in my "community" we only eat what the land has given and believe that god put it there for that reason. So it HAS to be safe.

So I'm also gonna sprinkle some opium on it too, for flavoring. It goes real nice with mayo.

You must be delivering at that hippie farm...

No our prophet delievers all our babies. It'd be too stressful to deliever anywhere outside the home. You know stress causes the baby to catch the gays right? That's a fact. And we can't have that.

reneewhite90 · February 2014

Hahaaa, I love you, @hfooter :x

hfooter · February 2014

@reneewhite90 Right back atcha

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