Something your parents instilled that you plan on doing too

SomersIsles · February 2014

I'm SO sick of hearing "you just wait!" I feel like everyone is saying it to me now. Just the other day my husband was saying how he hates when little leagues post themselves at busy intersections (with a permit, with their coaches) and fundraise by asking for change from passing cars. Then a friend says, "yeah, just wait til your son is trying to raise money for a baseball trip"

No no no!

First of all, I'd rather write a check than have my son beg for change from strangers.... And secondly, I'm pretty sure if I asked my father if I could do that growing up he'd flip out. My parents told me no often! Why do my friends think I won't be able to say no to my own child??

Things I plan to instill that my parents did for me....

No sugary junk food cereal, no TV on during dinner, and no TV in the bedroom.

Anyone else?

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

My parents made my sister and I get part time after school/summer jobs at 15. We had to pay for our own gas for our cars and any little random things we wanted but didn't need (video games, silly electronics, etc). Yeah it sucked working a few days a week in the summer while my friends were at the pool all day, but I was able to save and get nice things I really wanted. I think my work ethic and money budgeting skills came from that experience. I'm hoping I can pass that on to my kids.

SomersIsles · February 2014

My dad was very smart with money and would always tell me how to budget and manage bills. It's definitely an important value and mindset!

Andreabills · February 2014

No TV during dinner was a big one, as was family dinner. We had a real meal at a real table every night. Another thing that was instilled in me is that respect and common courtesy never go out of style. It doesn't matter if a person is the CEO of a company or the janitor, they are people and deserve to be treated pleasantly.

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

CHalePhoto said:
I agree with no TV in the bedroom. We never had TVs in our bedrooms growing up, but DH did so this is one we'll likely disagree on. I guess my dedication to this rule will mostly depend on my daughter.

My mom also made me try every vegetable known to mankind, but never made me feel like vegetables were supposed to be gross. I still love veggies. DH's family ate mostly fast or frozen food and I have to sneak veggies into things I cook for him. I really want my daughter to be an adventurous eater so I will require her to at least try everything.

This is us too. I had to try every veggie and as I result I love vegetables. DHs family ate a lot if frozen meals/not home cooked stuff and is SO PICKY with food. I definitely want my daughter to take after me, not him on food!

sebullows · February 2014

One thing I can't stand is that my brother and sil let my 3 1/2 yr old nephew play with the iPad at the dinner table. We don't see them much since they live far away, but everytime we do, the kid is in his highchair with an iPad when we eat. When we were growing up, TV was off and we sat down together as a family and talked to each other. Maybe it's not my business, but that cannot be an easy habit to have to break him out of when he's older...

SomersIsles · February 2014

I was an incredibly picky eater growing up and my mom, who has a very diverse diet, never made me try veggies etc. My dad was a steak and potatoes kinda guy and never really had a lot of variety in his diet to begin with. As a result, my diet is pretty boring and I'm not a fan of most veggies. Same with DH.

Perhaps I can change that with my lil one. We'll see!

kmeyers0611 · February 2014

No TV in bedrooms or at dinner was big for us as well. My parents always taught us not to let anyone make us feel inferior, but to also understand that didn't mean we were better than anyone else either and to not be bullies. Basically, the whole treat others as you want to be treated rule. It sounds like @Andreabills and I had very similar upbringings!

katykatykaty · February 2014

TV was never a big deal to my parents, and I guess I'm that way as well. I do try to limit it, but I don't think it's the end of the world.

My parents were big on school/academics being our 'full-time job' during the school year. They strongly recommended that we only work during summers in high school and college. I'd like to do the same thing for our kids if we're financially able.

SomersIsles · February 2014

katykatykaty said:
My parents were big on school/academics being our 'full-time job' during the school year. They strongly recommended that we only work during summers in high school and college. I'd like to do the same thing for our kids if we're financially able.

DH and I have talked about this too. He grew up where every kid wasted their money on working for a car and an upgraded stereo and fancy things for the car. Such a waste of money. He was in high school with a car payment! Hopefully we will be in a good financial spot where we can provide a vehicle for our children so they can focus on school first.

I had a part time job growing up because I only needed gas money because I would just borrow my parent's cars... But DH had legit bills so he worked A TON.

Definitely not a fan of that.

Eta... And by part time I mean I worked like 12 hrs a week at Dunkin Donuts lol.

cdnmomma · February 2014

Being financially responsible and charitable.

peachy0709 · February 2014

One of the greatest things my mom did for me was to instill a strong sense of self in me and my sister. Now, this doesn't mean we are full ourselves or think we're something we are not - in fact, its quite the opposite. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, and I learned to accept those things about myself at a very young age. I honestly pray every night that I can instill that in my daughter the way my mother did for me.

pepperedmoth · February 2014

Family dinners. Even with three kids in a thousand after school activities, we had family dinners every night.

Books books books books EVERYWHERE. We had no TV battles because all three of us would rather have been reading anyway.

nlane0723 · February 2014

Education was extremely important growing up and I plan on making that a priority for my children. Honesty, empathy, and responsibility were also important and those will be values I instill as well.

kstar83 · February 2014

Family dinners-no TV or devices.

No TVs or computers in bedroom.

Had a job at 15 and worked through the school year, as well as very involved in school activities and had great grades. We had plenty of time and it taught me time management and a strong work ethic that I carry to this day. I don't think that one precludes the other. We always knew that school and health was the most important. This taught us the value of money, what a day's work meant, and how to balance work/life and a younger age.

legallyginger · February 2014

Hmmm...

Definitely making them drink milk or water with meals. We were only allowed soda or juice as an occasional treat.

Being charitable and putting others first, even if it means that you make yourself less comfortable (I can't begin to tell you how many family members have temporarily lived with us while going through hard times).

Working for what you have and being happy with it. I got a job when I was 15 so that I could have spending/gas money. I think getting a job that young was really good for me- I learned how to budget my time and prioritize things, and it definitely made me a better employee in the long run.

angelsnight · February 2014

My parents wouldn't let me make a big deal over nothing. I could have my moment to whine, but they made me realize it wasn't end of the world and to suck it up and put things in perspective.

They made me do things I was afraid of so I wouldn't continue to be afraid of them. I really want our daughter to be independent and to be able to do things on her own.

WoodShopGirl · February 2014

I think respect is at the top to the list for MH and I. I grew up in a house where you didn't even say shut up to someone. I have grown a bit of a mouth now (especially working in a "rougher" industry) so I will have to be conscientious of this with my kids.

Also close to the top is money management. Although school was always instilled to be number one, I did work summers (starting in high school) to have spending money throughout the year. Then in college I worked to help support myself, knowing if I really needed to I could call home for money. I budgeted my own rent, food and supplies in college but I found that this was not the norm. I couldn't believe how many college age kids didn't know what they were spending per month. I think this needs to start at the high school level to be successful.

legallyginger · February 2014

Also, I went canning for change during high school to raise money for band and chorus trips and I really don't think its a big deal. I grew up in a poor area and there is no way most of the kids could afford to go to competitions if we didn't do all we could to fundraise. We usually sang for people outside of grocery stores/Walmart, and had lots of fun doing it. This was in addition to other stuff too- car washes, bake sales, etc. I would absolutely let my kid do it, even if I could afford to write a check to pay his share. Then the money raised would just go to another kid that needed it.

SomersIsles · February 2014

Littlejohn115 said:

Before I was allowed to get my drivers' license, I had to pay my parents the money it took to add me to their auto insurance. They wanted to make sure I understood that driving was a large responsibility. Although I wasn't fond of that rule at the time, I'm glad they taught me to work hard for what I have.

LOVE this!

jfb29 · February 2014

CHalePhoto said:
I agree with no TV in the bedroom. We never had TVs in our bedrooms growing up, but DH did so this is one we'll likely disagree on. I guess my dedication to this rule will mostly depend on my daughter.

My mom also made me try every vegetable known to mankind, but never made me feel like vegetables were supposed to be gross. I still love veggies. DH's family ate mostly fast or frozen food and I have to sneak veggies into things I cook for him. I really want my daughter to be an adventurous eater so I will require her to at least try everything.

All of this describes DH and I. He's all for TVs I'm the bedrooms (HELL NO!!!) and didn't get healthy eating habits. Growing up we had to at least try everything. If we didn't like what was made it was our choice to not eat that night. My nephew eats nothing but junk (pop tarts for breakfast, bread for lunch, and I don't think I've seen him ever eat a veggie). Drives me nuts!

nkrone08 · February 2014

I can definitely relate to making our LO try everything at least once. I joke with DH all the time and say that he has the appetite of a 5-year-old (pizza, chicken wings, hot dogs, etc.). He claims this was because he was forced to try things when he was younger so this will be a touchy subject when LO gets to the stage of trying new foods.

My parents taught us to work hard and do the right thing through their own examples. Working towards achievements on my own has been such a gratifying feeling and I want our LO to experience that. I want LO to be loved but not spoiled.

Lastly, like many others have mentioned, I want to teach money management asap. My parents NEVER talked about finances growing up and I didn't realize the importance of it all until I was out on my own. I want our LO to be more prepared than both DH and I were before we left the nest.

carrieactually · February 2014

Like my mom did for me, the first day my kid needs a packed lunch for school I'm showing him how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then he's on his own for packing his lunch.

DRFleener · February 2014

Reading, most definitely. Also, love for sports and being an athlete and involved in extracurricular stuff to be fully rounded out!

Also, loving and respecting our grandparents...so that when we got older we helped care for them.

jazzyexpo · February 2014

Tv doesn't bother me. Dd isn't into it anyway much.

We eat dinner at the dinner table and as a family. I always enjoyed that growing up.

My kids won't have a cell phone til they can drive, unless they pay for it themselves.

Respect for others and also no bullying.

htn1763 · February 2014

Definitely sitting down to family dinners. My parents gave us a lot of freedom growing up and I think it is why none of us ever went out and did crazy things. I hope I can give my kids that same trust and respect to make the correct choices.

Sports were very important to us and I want that for our kid too. If he isn't into sports then just help him succeed in whatever activity he is passionate about.

ProudMommy030614 · February 2014

I had crappy parents! My children better not turn out like them. I have worked my ass off to be the exact opposite of them

fish8412 · February 2014

1. No TV in bedrooms

2. Good manners

3. Good grammar

4. Importance of reading/education

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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maganonymous · February 2014

As far as simple everyday things, with my stepdaughter (and LO in the future) we do:
-No candy/treats before lunch
-No soda before lunch (only caffeine free soda allowed after lunch, and she needs to ask first)
-We all eat supper together at the dinner table, except on "special" nights like pizza and movie night

We probably do some other things that my parents taught me that I can't remember right now either, and there are bigger overarching life lessons we have started to teach her too (like taking personal responsibility, etc)

Something I have personally started with my stepdaughter (and it stems from having worked in retail for so long) is that when you look at something at the store, you need to put it back where it belongs. Short story: We were at Carter's looking at stuff for LO--my SD picked up a onesie, looked at it, folded it the best she could and put it back on the shelf. It wasn't perfect, but I was so proud at the effort that she put into it and that she cared about the people who were going to have to clean up later!

SomersIsles · February 2014

Anneplusone said:

bearsbearsbears said:

Anneplusone said:

SomersIsles said:

I'm SO sick of hearing "you just wait!" I feel like everyone is saying it to me now. Just the other day my husband was saying how he hates when little leagues post themselves at busy intersections (with a permit, with their coaches) and fundraise by asking for change from passing cars. Then a friend says, "yeah, just wait til your son is trying to raise money for a baseball trip"

No no no!

First of all, I'd rather write a check than have my son beg for change from strangers.... And secondly, I'm pretty sure if I asked my father if I could do that growing up he'd flip out. My parents told me no often! Why do my friends think I won't be able to say no to my own child??

Things I plan to instill that my parents did for me....

No sugary junk food cereal, no TV on during dinner, and no TV in the bedroom.

Anyone else?

This might be a Thursday UO but there is nothing wrong with your kid fundraising. They learn about fundraising, money management, charity and kindness of others.

As a kid I was amazing at selling and (no joke) I work as a professional fundraiser for a charity and raise millions for a good cause.

Eh, I wouldn't have my kid collecting from cars on the street. It's dangerous.

I'm not saying cars on the street fundraising is the way to go. I've never seen that to be honest besides pan handlers. But there is nothing wrong with your kid fundraising for local sports team in a supervised environment

Yeah I don't have a problem with fundraising in general but it's always on a case by case basis. I need to know exactly where the money is going, how the money is to be collected, etc etc.

In my town sports teams (and other groups) can get a permit and they wear special vests and literally stand on the sidewalk or on the yellow line in the middle of the road (!!) and ask cars for money at red lights. NO WAY.

SomersIsles · February 2014

I live in MA. I never saw street fundraising growing up. Could be an isolated thing.

legallyginger · February 2014

SomersIsles said:
I live in MA. I never saw street fundraising growing up. Could be an isolated thing.

The only people I've seen do that around here is the fire department when they fundraise for children's charities around Christmas. I wouldn't want my kid in the middle of an intersection either. Anything else I'd be fine with, provided there was adequate supervision.

craftiemommie · February 2014

My parents always said they couldn't get mad at us for doing things they had done at our age. And they were pretty big hippies so there were a lot of open, frank discussions about drugs, alcohol, sex etc. It absolutely kept us out of trouble. My friends all had parents who acted like these things didn't exist and so many of them got into terrible situations. We were always the responsible ones who knew how to say no when we needed to and never felt uncomfortable going to adults for help when things got out of control. And our friends would come to our parents as well. We never broke the rules because there wasn't much to rebel against. Granted, the first time I was caught trashed at a party I got my ass grounded, but I wasn't afraid to call my mom to pick me up that night. It was less yelling and more of a rational conversation about how its inappropriate for a 13 year old to get totally drunk and sloppy. We never ever got in a car with someone who was drinking, and I remember being horrified by my friends who showed up at school high, thinking how stupid it was to take a chance (and at a strict catholic school) - there was little reason to do it because there would have been no shock value in it for us. I hope we can be as realistic with our kids.

kimberpoo · February 2014

We will definitely do the holiday traditions that we have had so much fun doing with our families, but I won't go into details on those.

Books!!! lots and lots of reading. It is so important. Not only does it reach kids on a totally different level than TV shows, but it will massively improve grammar and spelling skills.

No pop, except as an occasional treat. My mom limited us to one can on the weekends until I had nearly graduated high school, and I am SO glad she did. She also cooked nearly all of our meals and only made us eat until we were full, so I have had no issues with weight/obesity even though I love sweets.

A strong sense of self worth, and the ability to stand up for himself. both DH and I are very assertive, confident people and I'm hoping we can pass this to LO.

Lastly, common sense about the world and how it works. That includes financial responsibility.

Mrae87 · February 2014

I will teach my kids that there are consequences for their actions- good and bad. My husband and I both got spanked as children and we plan to do the same if our child has been warned to not _____. Likewise I will surprise my kids often for their good behavior. My parents did that often to me.

I'll also teach them respect, especially for authority but also to their peers.

My husband is a southern boy and says our kids will say "yes ma'am, yes sir" etc. I'm fine with it. I never did it growing up, but I don't think it's a bad thing to teach our kids.

We also want our kids to be kind, compassionate, and giving. My husband and I both work with special needs kids so our kids will be right there with us, and will learn that just because someone is different, that doesn't make them "weird."

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