Am I on some sort of tacky mailing list?

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

I can't handle the number of tacky invites I've gotten recently. Today's gem: an invite that has SIX parts (the actual invite and then FIVE separate inserts). The first two inserts are registry cards and directions to the restaurant. Fine. Thanks. The other three?

"Tradition is changing and showers are too, so here's an idea we hoped you could do. When bringing a gift could you leave off the wrap? It's X's last days with an empty lap. An unwrapped present can be just as caring, and will save her from all of the pulling and tearing. We'll display your kind treasures for all to see, then relax and honor the mommy to be."
"Diaper Raffle: A pack of diapers in size 1, 2 or 3 would really help the parents to be. So bring a package in a tiny size to be entered in a raffle for a really great prize!"
Don't forget the wishing well! Please see X's registry for an assortment of small baby essentials to contribute to the wishing well.

Let me get this straight- I should pick out gifts for your multiples from your registry. Then deliver them unwrapped to save you the hassle of opening generous gifts. I should also bring you diapers and wishing well gifts? Might as well just hand you my latest paycheck at that rate.

First, this isn't a wedding. No need for a six part invite (although, based on this same girl's bridal shower, there will be a wedding-sized guest list, I'm sure... the gift grabbing has no bounds. Second, a cute poem doesn't undo tacky. I LIKE wrapping gifts. It's fun. It makes them pretty. It adds to the surprise of gift giving. I'm wrapping your gift, lady. Also- I am sort of immune to diaper raffles b/c they are so common around here, but don't also tell me what size to bring. AND don't sandwich the demand between two other demands.

Sigh. Vent over.

sschwege · February 2014

My jaw just hit the floor! Unbelievable!

I dare you to call her up and say, "Got the invite, but you missed a few demands. You forgot to include the 'book instead of a card' poem and a 'let's fill the baby's new piggy bank' game!"

divinemsbee · February 2014

That's just...horrible. Yes, horrible is the best word I can use to describe it.

Gigi8212 · February 2014

I wouldn't go, nor would I send a gift. UNLESS I figured it was the hosts making the demands and poor MotB had no idea. But I don't reward selfishness and entitlement.

Gigi8212 · February 2014

Also WTF is a wishing well? That is a new one for me!

sschwege · February 2014

Darbie914 said:

::eye-roll::

If you go, your RSVP should go something like this:

So excited am I to attend this celebration,
I am replying Yes but with these hesitations.
Times may be changing but please let the traditions be,
The gift with the wrapping will be coming from me!

But wait, there's more?
Spending my money is such a chore.
Along with my gift I must shower you with more?
No diapers I will buy for this extra special prize,
So tacky this request, I hope you realize.

So while my response to this shower is Yes,
If you ask me to address my own envelope,
I will tear it to shreds.

OK, this is awesome!

Helenahhandbasket · February 2014

Oh em gee.

I had heard about the "giftwrap free" showers but didn't know they existed in real life. Dayum.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2014

Darbie914 said:

::eye-roll::

If you go, your RSVP should go something like this:

So excited am I to attend this celebration,
I am replying Yes but with these hesitations.
Times may be changing but please let the traditions be,
The gift with the wrapping will be coming from me!

But wait, there's more?
Spending my money is such a chore.
Along with my gift I must shower you with more?
No diapers I will buy for this extra special prize,
So tacky this request, I hope you realize.

So while my response to this shower is Yes,
If you ask me to address my own envelope,
I will tear it to shreds.

@darbie914 wins this thread!

sschwege · February 2014

Helenahhandbasket said:

Darbie914 said:

::eye-roll::

If you go, your RSVP should go something like this:

So excited am I to attend this celebration,
I am replying Yes but with these hesitations.
Times may be changing but please let the traditions be,
The gift with the wrapping will be coming from me!

But wait, there's more?
Spending my money is such a chore.
Along with my gift I must shower you with more?
No diapers I will buy for this extra special prize,
So tacky this request, I hope you realize.

So while my response to this shower is Yes,
If you ask me to address my own envelope,
I will tear it to shreds.

@darbie914 wins this thread!

Yes, I am retracting my dare and throwing my support behind Darbie914!

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

lol!

The MTB is a good friend. Her DH, on the other hand... he's a piece of work. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if this was all his idea, passed on to the host. I don't think the MTB would have suggested any of these, except maybe the diaper raffle- but again, those have become quite customary around here.

FYI: A wishing well is literally a large well that you fill with "smaller" gifts like shampoos, pacifiers, etc..

Meery82 · February 2014

Fuck THAT. I would absolutely not go.

FakeFinn · February 2014

Kimbus22 said:

Helenahhandbasket said:

Darbie914 said:

::eye-roll::

If you go, your RSVP should go something like this:

So excited am I to attend this celebration,
I am replying Yes but with these hesitations.
Times may be changing but please let the traditions be,
The gift with the wrapping will be coming from me!

But wait, there's more?
Spending my money is such a chore.
Along with my gift I must shower you with more?
No diapers I will buy for this extra special prize,
So tacky this request, I hope you realize.

So while my response to this shower is Yes,
If you ask me to address my own envelope,
I will tear it to shreds.

@darbie914 wins this thread!

Fuck dat shit. She wins the damned interwebz today.

Absolutely! I wish I could use this one day!

goodgalpal · February 2014

The invite and inserts sound over done and asking for too much, I agree. I'd probably comply with the gift wrap, but not the other requests. Bottom line is the guests will do what they want to, regardless of all those inserts.

wittyschaffy · February 2014

Oh boy. I'd go with a quadruple wrapped gift just out of spite. Good heavens.

sabriel1 · February 2014

Darbie914 said:

::eye-roll::

If you go, your RSVP should go something like this:

So excited am I to attend this celebration,
I am replying Yes but with these hesitations.
Times may be changing but please let the traditions be,
The gift with the wrapping will be coming from me!

But wait, there's more?
Spending my money is such a chore.
Along with my gift I must shower you with more?
No diapers I will buy for this extra special prize,
So tacky this request, I hope you realize.

So while my response to this shower is Yes,
If you ask me to address my own envelope,
I will tear it to shreds.

Move over Ballsox, there's a new poet in town

normandyn7 · February 2014

Babybarlow2014 said:

lol!

The MTB is a good friend. Her DH, on the other hand... he's a piece of work. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if this was all his idea, passed on to the host. I don't think the MTB would have suggested any of these, except maybe the diaper raffle- but again, those have become quite customary around here.

FYI: A wishing well is literally a large well that you fill with "smaller" gifts like shampoos, pacifiers, etc..

Yikes

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

@Kimbus22, I kind of agree. To me, it's all about the presentation of the request. When it's a demand, or clearly and overtly rude, it rubs me the wrong way.

I went to a shower once where a snow storm was scheduled to arrive that evening. The host was worried about people traveling, and whether or not the restaurant would close early and cancel on her. She called each of us to say that the party was still on, but that they planned to cut the 4 hour shindig down to 2 so that everyone could get home safely. In light of that, would we mind just sticking a bow on top and not bothering with wrapping? Otherwise MTB might not get to everyone's gift and would feel horrible if she didn't get a chance to acknowledge us.

To me, I genuinely appreciated her concern for our traveling safety and for wanting to keep the day special for the MTB and not let the weather ruin the festivities. I was happy to arrive "unwrapped".

momo21 · February 2014

I wouldn't mind the "don't wrap the gift" part if there was a good reason for it (like, for example, the environment or the weather situation above). I usually "wrap" gifts in reusable bags because of this. But just so the MTB doesn't have to pull and tear? That's silly.

kimberpoo · February 2014

I agree that invite is totally tacky. and omg I had never heard of a wishing well.... at first I thought it was some kind of tradition or game until I saw PP's pic. yuck, sooooo not my style.

I am in the minority, however, in that I wouldn't care too much about the requests because I'm lazy and not wrapping makes the gifting easier. less pretty, more tacky, but easier on my round pregnant self and for the diapers and wishing well, I'd get those items and then just buy a smaller item off the registry.....like if I was going to spend $50 total on the MTB, I'd buy the small item, the diapers, and then use whatever $ was leftover on a gift off the registry, so no harm done.

not nearly as bad as those showers we hear about where guests have to pay for their own meals, an entrance fee, or some other crazy thing.

Gigi8212 · February 2014

somerandomchick said:

momo21 said:
I wouldn't mind the "don't wrap the gift" part if there was a good reason for it (like, for example, the environment or the weather situation above). I usually "wrap" gifts in reusable bags because of this. But just so the MTB doesn't have to pull and tear? That's silly.
People who say not to wrap because 'the environment!' Are ridiculous.

If you care so much about the environment it's better to just not have a shower and buy your own second-hand baby items.

I completely agree.

sschwege · February 2014

kimberpoo said:

I agree that invite is totally tacky. and omg I had never heard of a wishing well.... at first I thought it was some kind of tradition or game until I saw PP's pic. yuck, sooooo not my style.
I am in the minority, however, in that I wouldn't care too much about the requests because I'm lazy and not wrapping makes the gifting easier. less pretty, more tacky, but easier on my round pregnant self and for the diapers and wishing well, I'd get those items and then just buy a smaller item off the registry.....like if I was going to spend $50 total on the MTB, I'd buy the small item, the diapers, and then use whatever $ was leftover on a gift off the registry, so no harm done.
not nearly as bad as those showers we hear about where guests have to pay for their own meals, an entrance fee, or some other crazy thing.

I agree it's all a sliding scale of tackiness. But my issue in particular with your middle paragraph is what if you can only spend $15, then what? Or what if you 'only' ever bring diapers as a gift, what happens then? Do you wrap that and give it as a gift, or do you throw it into the diaper raffle? See what I mean?

I actually always do a book instead of a card when I go to baby showers. I'm a former teacher and reading to children is one of my favorite things to do. So I'm happy to not spend money on a card and instead throw in a few extra bucks for a book. But I don't appreciate being told how to spend my money.

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

melainiandmark said:

Can someone please explain to me what in the hell a diaper raffle is? I'm picturing raffle tickets being handed out as you drop off your diapers. It sounds terrible.

That's basically exactly what it is. For each pack of diapers the guests bring they get a raffle ticket. Then a winner is drawn at the end of the shower for a "prize".

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

I would wrap the gift & put a book on etiquette in the wishing well.

Envy1328 · February 2014

Wow is all I have to say!

Am I on some sort of tacky mailing list?

Re: Am I on some sort of tacky mailing list?

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