Feeling Guilty...

RMarie88 · February 2014

My husband and I are planning a 4 night getaway to recharge and reconnect. My little girl will be 5 months during the time we plan on being gone. But I'm feeling really guilty...I feel like I'm a bad mom and I don't love my daughter enough if I want to get away with my husband for so long (is 4 nights long...?). I'm really torn because I really want to have this time with my husband but I feel so guilty and can't help but wonder if it would be "bad" for my baby if we were gone that long.

Mum2Be28 · February 2014

I don't think you're a "bad" mom for wanting to get away with your husband. Is this your first time away from her other than just part of a day? If so, 4 days may be a little long for you and for her. Does your daughter know the person you are leaving her with? I'm EBFing so I personally couldn't do that because I just feel like my son needs me in that regard right now. But if my son was bottle fed and was staying with someone he knew well and was comfortable with, then I would go away for like a Saturday/Sunday. I think four days would be too long for me until he's at least a year. But that's just me.

**And to those reading-- I'm not saying bottle fed babies don't need their moms. Of course they do! I'm just saying my son gets his milk straight from me and that's what he is used to so until he starts taking a lot more bottles I wouldn't leave him.

RMarie88 · February 2014

Well...I have been apart from her before. I was in the hospital overnight shortly after she was born, and my in-laws surprised us with a 2 night stay in a hotel when she was 2 months old. So I've been away from her before but 4 nights will be the longest. She's formula fed so that's not a problem and she'd be staying at home with my mom part of the time and then at my in-laws (who she sees every other weekend and LOVES) the rest of the time.

Mum2Be28 · February 2014

That sounds good! And you've left before and all went well it sounds like. Go for it! Have fun!

LC122 · February 2014

To give you a little peace of mind, there is a book called "Brain Rules for Baby" and the author talks about going to conferences where all the parents want to know is how to get their kids into Harvard. His answer is "go home and love your wife."
The point is that the relationship between parents is important. Nurturing that relationship with a trip is one way to do it. It sounds like you've secured safe/nurturing/loving accommodations for your LO, so go enjoy your time with your DH and return to your LO refreshed and happy to see her.