Opinions please.

TheTamedShrew · February 2014

This is long and boring, but the board is dead so maybe someone will read it and give their opinion. So my little sister turns 21 today. For months I have been planning on taking her out on the town on her birthday. She goes to college three hours away and was planning on coming home for the weekend to celebrate with dinner at our parents' house and then going out. Well unfortunately she got the flu last Sunday (from my nieces and SIL who are anti-flu shot and delayed vaxxers I might add). So all week long I have basically been assuming that she would either not be driving home this weekend or would come home and not feel like going out. I assumed she would want to postpone her birthday celebration til next Saturday when she had fully recovered. I did text her on Wednesday and asked if she would want to postpone and she said she didn't know but was still planning to drive home. So I didn't hear any definitive response from her about it...until fifteen minutes ago when I called to wish her happy birthday, and she said she was home and "what time are we going out?". E is getting her booster flu shot next Thursday. I am not willing to risk exposing myself (and consequently my child)to the virus by being close to someone knowing they are getting over the flu. I told her it was a bad idea for her to go out drinking when she hadn't fully recovered. Now she's all disappointed and upset, which I understand. I told her I was more than happy to take her out and celebrate next weekend when she was fully recovered. I feel like a bad sister. Did I do the right thing?

needanustart · February 2014

That's a tough one, but I would probably not go out out of laziness since I need a whole day to mentally prepare to be 21 again. I would add that I would stay home, feel guilty and eat my emotions. So I'm probably not the right person to give my opinion. My reason for not going wouldn't be flu exposure though because I don't make decisions because of that stuff anymore since I'd drive myself crazy wondering who had what and when and end up in a bubble. I just wash my hands a lot.

tttwalters · February 2014

is she even still contagious? I would probably meet her for a drink and just wash your hands when you get home. I get you not wanting your LO around her though.

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kelly422 · February 2014

I think it would be crappy to be promised a celebration on your 21st birthday and come home and have people back out on that plan. You only turn 21 once!!!!

I'm exposed to super sick kids every day (I get coughed in the face on a daily basis!), so I don't think that should be a reason to not be around her. I doubt she's even contagious anymore.

I would go and give her what you originally promised her.

Nix55 · February 2014

I think you should go. Your LO can be exposed to lots of people that just had the flu...unless you keep her in a bubble. Don't get me wrong, I get your concerns, but just be responsible. Wash your hands often.

bexbarker · February 2014

I think my main problem would be that she never got back to you until the night of. That's very little notice, and if you're anything like me you're not exactly night on the town ready at the drop of a hat. I understand what PPs are saying about upholding your promise, but she had a responsibility too--to confirm plans with a little bit of notice, not the night of.

cafecreme · February 2014

I would go, maybe instead of going out and just drinking, you two go out for dinner, and have 1-2 drinks? Just distance yourself, and bring some hand sanitizer with you.

TheTamedShrew · February 2014

Thanks for all the responses everyone. I talked it over with her and apologized for the assumptions and that I promise to take her shopping and out on the town the next weekend she's home. I understand not keeping E in a bubble, but the fact that my sister had the flu and so did both of my little nieces in the last five days (one of which has been battling a fever of 103+) just made me want to limit my exposure to her. At least until after this week when E gets her booster shot. DH was actually more concerned than I was and talked me out of it. I did feel like the plans were not definite since she found out she was sick. Anyway, I'll just have to make it up to her.

HeartLikeMine3 · February 2014

I would go assuming you have had your flu shot as well. The flu shot should do the majority of protecting LO from the flu from what I've heard 80-90% and the booster helps with the rest. Like pp said wash your hands a lot and keep your distance. Where I disagree is going to have a drink or two maybe I'm a little crazy but if I'm turning 21 I think I'd be pretty disappointed with that. I'm sure she wants to get a little wild and crazy for her first night legal on the town.

TristansMommy6357 · February 2014

From what you've wrote, it sounds like you would not have been comfortable going out regardless if she had given more notice. I think next time, if something like this were to happen again, just be more forward with your concerns and let her know your plans. She probably didn't know you wouldn't want to risk getting the flu and therefore not go out at all, so her feelings were hurt.

For what it's worth, I would go out for a drink or two, but I completely understand your concerns.

JANCANDANCE · February 2014

Honestly, you are wrong. Take that girl get to hammered. She will only turn 21 once. Still loves you though.

LBeez13 · February 2014

I vote go out too. 21 is a huge birthday. That is one of those "never forget" nights!!

ASmallWonder · February 2014

I don't get why you let the assumption hang out there that if she felt up to it, you'd still go. Yes she left it up in the air but it sounds like it didn't matter - you wouldn't have gone anyway.

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